01
A very true sentence that says:
"Men's hearts are made of porcelain, you can accidentally leave scratches on it, it doesn't matter, but you must not break it, otherwise there are always a few pieces of debris that you can't pick up."
Love and trust are the same, it is not difficult to trust a person, the difficulty is to trust a person who is no longer trusted.
In fact, it is not only difficult, almost impossible, love is the same, from despair to replace the part of love, and then want to find back, even if you make a big change, that special emotion disappears, it disappears forever. Or rather, love is only once, and there is no such thing as a new one.
If you can get it back, just forget it.
Noisy does not hurt feelings, but good noise, will also be the lubricating oil of feelings, the real fatal is the disappointment again and again, by the accumulation of disappointment, to the end either collapse or outbreak. Then in the world of feelings, you always have to take into account your partner's "careful eyes".
What you think of as careful is that your partner cares about you, and if it weren't for caring about you, valuing you, and cherishing you, no one would be idle enough to waste their emotions casually.
To have no sense of boundaries for friends of the opposite sex is to hurt your partner, including the torture of his emotions, and the emotional lows and ups and downs are all seeds of disappointment. In this matter, no one is generous, and the so-called generosity simply does not care.
In turn, this is also the most basic manifestation of true love for someone, I can take into account your feelings, and because I consider your feelings, and then do everything that needs to be done for your feelings, such as the restraint of my own behavior, and the management of my own desires.
02
In this world, the person who can really crush and hurt a man is always the person he cares about the most, from disappointment to despair, from argument to laziness, freezing three feet, never because of a day's cold.
Men in the relationship, really care, need, value is that this relationship can make him feel safe and steadfast, their love, often from this, this is Zhang Rui (pseudonym) to understand later, but she in five years, step by step to break the heart of her husband.
In the middle, there are about three processes, from jealousy to jealousy, from jealousy to quarrel, from quarrel to laissez-faire.
Zhang Rui just likes to mingle with male friends, she feels lively, in the face of her husband's jealousy, can understand, but over time, it is inevitable to be a little annoyed, and her husband gradually began to restrain her behavior because of emotional jealousy. Later, she did not take it seriously, and learned to lie under the constraints of her husband.
From jealousy to jealousy to quarrel, both people have changed, especially Zhang Rui's psychological changes, from the inner dissatisfaction to a strong desire to attack.
The heavier the family life, the more Zhang Rui wanted to escape, and because of this, she questioned her original choice countless times. In addition, her husband's temper has also become strange and grumpy, no matter where Zhang Rui is, he always can't help but want to confirm, even if Zhang Rui casually says a word, he remains skeptical.
Later, there was an endless quarrel between the two people, because what quarreled was not important, what was important was that they needed to quarrel with each other to vent their inner emotions.
For two or three years, the two men seemed to be each other's torture devices, and there was nothing but endless internal friction and torture. What's behind it? It is a unique position in the spiritual world, and the belief that we must work together in this life and this life.
Destroying these two things, marriage is in name only, coupled with the tiredness of frequent quarrels, which directly leads to the abandonment of the husband, but also despair, is probably a mood? It doesn't matter, whether you are willing to change or not, everyone is just a husband and wife relationship, just a husband and wife relationship.
For Zhang Rui, she also completely lost her husband's special concern for her, because her husband began to let her behavior go, such as the child's matter, I will tell you what happened to the child, as to whether you are willing to come or not, I can do it, behind my all-I can, is a gradually indifferent attitude.
Zhang Rui did not expect things to be so serious, and when she realized the change in her husband, everything could not go back, this indifferent attitude was not pretended, but she no longer had a unique recognition. So Zhang Rui is also regretting that women after marriage should have a sense of boundaries for friends of the opposite sex, and don't follow my old path.
03
In fact, in the world of feelings, security and belonging are very important, which should be felt by each other and firmly for them. A sense of security (not to leave, not to betray), a sense of belonging (to be sure that you will not leave), so to distance yourself from other friends of the opposite sex, this should be a must have after having feelings, you must have self-awareness.
Self-consciousness is often the best motivation for us to maintain love, rather than always thinking that "the body is not afraid of the shadow crooked", and the restraint of the partner, is a deprivation of some right to oneself.
When things are really encountered, the real reliable is still the partner, the so-called friendship relationship, the deep trust will never happen, and the good feelings brought to you are also illusory, because there is no participation in life and interests.
If you feel that some friend of the opposite sex understands you very well, understands you very well, it may just be that he is smarter than you, and what you should have is to be careful.
If you don't have a life involvement with your partner, I believe that he will also be empathetic and reasonable, after all, he will be responsible for your future.
In the world of feelings, there is no generosity, everyone is selfish, you always have to consider the feelings of your partner, which is also the easiest and most direct weapon to destroy trust, otherwise how can you say that loyalty is the bottom line of marriage, even if it has not yet developed to that extent, but this kind of thing is sensitive in everyone's heart.
Even how to quarrel in normal times does not matter, as long as everyone feels safe in this relationship, so there is no sense of boundaries, it is hurting your partner, no matter how good your relationship is, since it is a friend relationship, there should be a distance and measure of the friend relationship.
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