Trying to be a "good girl" while the familiar voice inside weakens your self-esteem and self-confidence

If you grew up in a family dominated by maternal narcissism, as an adult, you strive to be a "good girl" every day and try to do what others ask you to do. You believe that if you try to please others, you can earn the love and respect you crave. But you will still hear familiar voices from the heart, sending you negative messages and weakening your self-esteem and self-confidence.

If you have a narcissistic mother, the following internalized reprimands will echo in your ears throughout your life:

I didn't do well enough.

My worth depends on what I do, not what kind of person I am.

I don't deserve to be loved.

Because year after year you hear these messages of self-denial—messages that are emotionally inadequately nurtured in childhood:

You feel empty inside and always lack satisfaction.

You want to be surrounded by sincere and reliable people.

Romantic relationships make you very entangled.

You're afraid to become like your mom.

You worry that you won't be able to be a good mother.

It's hard to trust others.

You feel the lack of a healthy, positive woman to be your role model.

You perceive that your emotional development is being hindered.

・ You find it difficult to be independent from your mother.

You find it difficult to experience or trust your true emotions.

Stay with your mother, you will feel uncomfortable.

You find it difficult to build a real life for yourself.

Even if you experience only a small part of these feelings, you will have to carry a lot of anxiety and distress with you. Once you know more about the mother-daughter interactions associated with maternal narcissism, you'll understand why you experience these feelings.

(McBride's "The Bondage of Motherhood" Reading Notes)