This year's Oscars came to an end, with Olivia Coleman winning Best Actress for "The Favourite."
When Coleman thanked him, he said to Glenn Cross in the audience: "You are my idol, I should not be on stage." ”
Cross, who is called an "idol" by the film queen, is 71 years old this year, and won the Golden Globe Award and the Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Actress for the movie "The Good Wife", and this year is also the seventh time she has been nominated for the Oscar for Best Actress, but she has failed again, known as "the biggest jewel of the Oscar queen".
In the movie "The Virtuous Wife", Cross played a woman who was bound by society and family, and she could not break free throughout her life.
Even if it fails to win the award, the film is still worth pondering.
Become a "virtuous wife" and lose yourself
The film is about an old couple who are very affectionate in the eyes of outsiders.
Husband Joe is a writer, wife Joan is a housewife, son follows his father in writing, daughter has just given birth to a grandson, and everything looks perfect.
On every occasion, Joe would show off his good wife, and his words often hung on his lips were: "Without her, there would be no me today." ”
Things went wrong and started with a phone call.
The other end of the phone said, "You have been chosen to accept this year's Nobel Prize in Literature." ”
This is not a fraudulent call, it is a real Nobel Prize.
But in the process of the family's participation in the award ceremony, the dark waves behind life were put on the surface.
Joe has a sloppy personality, is mean, swears a lot, and pays special attention to the beautiful women around him.
The relationship with the child is not good, and every chat will turn into a quarrel.
Each speech repeatedly quotes short classic quotations to disguise its shortcomings.
And Joan's emotions are delicate, and she is courteous and courteous.
Love books and play crossword puzzles to pass the time.
Compared with her bombastic husband, her words are very few, but the golden sentences are frequent.
In fact, everyone can guess that the real writer is his wife Joan.
After 40 years of marriage, she became her husband's shadow writer and won the Nobel Prize in Literature.
The film also explains why Joan did this.
She also had her own literary ideals when she was young, but she was splashed with cold water by reality.
Because of the public's prejudice against women, many talented female authors have been buried.
It just so happened that Joe's novel was rejected, and Joan offered to help him "fix it".
And this "tinkering" is forty years.
For forty years, Joe cheated on sex and achieved nothing, relying entirely on his wife's books to support the family.
In the film, the male protagonist asks the question in the hearts of all the audiences: "If I am an insensitive mediocre, why do you want to marry me?" ”
Joan began to cry like a child and replied, "I don't know." ”
Joan was wronged by the fact that her aura was taken away by her husband, and it was not that she did not choose to leave, but that she made the choice to continue to hide under her husband's shell.
She complained, resented, and angry, but she never took a step toward change.
When complaining becomes a habit
In "The Virtuous Wife", Joan chose a mediocre talent as her lifelong partner, she gave the other party fame and fortune, and the other party only gave back pain.
Joan kept complaining, hating her husband from the bottom of her heart, but she was not in a hurry to escape, and seemed to have found a sense of self-superiority in her husband.
And this sense of superiority temporarily shielded his dissatisfaction with the marriage, so that the relationship continued in resentment.
But in fact, nothing has been solved.
The husband still cheated one after another, swearing and sloppy.
Joan is still tormented in her heart, taking the dislike of the other party as a daily routine, and continues to be her shadow writer.
In these forty years, she has had countless opportunities to change this situation, rather than what she calls "helpless".
It's just that Joan gives up, she chooses ease, escapes reality, and keeps risks and egos out of the illusion.
While suffering, he said to himself that this was love.
Such people are not uncommon in life.
When I was a journalist before, I ran through the people's livelihood news, and in several activities held by the women's federation, I met many women who were abused by the family.
Volunteers often advise them to seek medical attention immediately, save their diagnosis certificates, call the police in time, and leave records at the police station, but almost no one hears these suggestions.
They were abused by their husbands more than once, but they couldn't help but divorce.
The result they hope to get is to let their husbands stop domestic violence and let their husbands continue to support them.
Volunteers often provide a series of suggestions to help them face difficulties and become financially independent, but the women who are abused by domestic violence turn a deaf ear and turn back to cry about their lives and complain that they have married the wrong person.
"I can't get a divorce, I don't have an income..." "He apologizes to me every time he finishes a fight, we still have feelings..." "What about children after divorce?" I'm going to give him a complete home..."
Blindfold yourself with self-deceptive reasons, as if you don't dig deeper, and the marriage can continue.
They often lament and complain to themselves, and when they put their mistakes on others, life becomes much easier.
When complaining becomes a habit, the courage to try to change is gradually worn away.
This is very much like Lu Xun's A Q spirit, which is clearly deep in the mud, and it is necessary to use imagination to create a perfect illusion for yourself.
Always make a wish, don't complain
When complaining becomes a habit, it's like drinking seawater, and the more you drink, the more you thirst.
There is no shortage of people around us who are full of negative emotions.
Previously, a friend was in a hurry at home, so he married the blind date.
The two closed their eyes, but they could not talk about any love.
After marriage, every time I met her, I always complained about my mother-in-law and hated my husband.
All kinds of parents have to pay attention to the short and trivial, and deliberately relay it to others.
Others asked her why she didn't find someone she liked in the first place.
She said negatively: "How can you find it, the age has reached the point of getting together." ”
When everyone persuaded her and her husband to move away from her mother-in-law's house, she said firmly: "You don't know the situation at home, it is certainly impossible." ”
After rejecting everyone's proposal, he began to immerse himself in a new round of complaints, with no end.
It is as if there is no other choice in life, only this one-way street.
But this is not the case.
Like Joan in "The Virtuous Wife", she does not only have the option of obedience, but she herself has chosen this way of life.
Although her husband Joe was mediocre, he was not stubborn, and it was also evident that his ex-wife threw his tie on the ground.
It was Joan who chose to bet her talent and youth on Joe.
She escaped from reality and gave up the opportunity to become a "king" and became a "champion of the king".
She complained about the other party's cheating, suffered in silence, and refused to leave.
It is often said that a good way of life is to always make wishes and not complain.
It is far better to spend effort on the construction of a better future than to spend it in unnecessary complaints.
In reality, P.D. James, a female writer contemporaneous with the film's story, is known as the "first lady of speculative fiction", and her masculine pen name is obviously a product of the times, but she has finally established her own kingdom of reasoning.
The writer Madeleine Henry also used her husband's pen name to help him write manuscripts, and when his writing matured, he published a series of autobiographical novels under his own name.
So when you are in the dark, instead of complaining, you should carry the lamp forward.
In the book "Dear Sanmao", it is written: "Occasionally complaining about life may be a catharsis of some emotion, and it is not indispensable, but habitual complaining without seeking change is not a smart person." ”
Because complaining is asking others to be responsible for themselves.
In fact, no matter when, you are the person who should be most responsible for yourself.
About the author
Miss Lee, a "girl" who reads an amazing amount of books, has won a machine to get a microphone to write a manuscript, an essay contest to win an award, and a newspaper and radio interview. Tell the most heartfelt stories, be a friend of the healing family, and may our encounter make you understand children better and meet your true self.