Maternal love, in the end, is a decent exit
The emotion between mother and child should be the deepest fate in life. Mothers are important partners in accompanying their children's growth, and as children grow, the degree of mother's participation in their lives is bound to be decreasing. Strong maternal love is not a permanent possession of the child, but a decent withdrawal. Otherwise it will only make people feel stressed and guilty.
In Coco's view, true maternal love is to know how to let go at the right time, so that children have their own independent life, have their own ability to grow, and experience wind and rain. What a mother can do is silently support behind her back. At the same time, it is also a manifestation of the mother's true trust in the child as an individual "adult".
Even if it is as free as papi sauce, in the face of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along with each other, you have to "listen to your mother's words", Jiang Mama said, "The mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter, but the daughter-in-law should treat her mother-in-law as a mother-in-law." "The mother warns the daughter not to treat the mother-in-law as a mother, to take the mother-in-law's efforts as a matter of course, and not to pass on bad emotions to the mother-in-law." Papi Sauce said that my bad emotions were left to my honorable mother.
"Listening to mom" is sometimes the most effective wisdom in life
Mother-child/female relationships in the world have a period of life that they like to live with their mothers. Because of the close relationship with the mother, the child can always feel the shortcomings of the mother more clearly. In particular, girls who are also women are more sensitive to the problems of their mothers. Everyone tries to modify or evade the mother's own control as a sign of rebellion.
Coco felt that although everyone looked at the problem from different angles, they could have reservations. My mother never owes us anything, and she doesn't need and can't change. Discussing or trying to ask her to accept new ideas is sometimes futile and exhausting. It is better to "listen to your mother", she is happy and you are relaxed.
For example, the "Niangniang" Cai Shaofen family, which has recently been frequently searched, Cai Shaofen and his wife have chosen to give in, "listen to their mother's words", and do not argue with their mother/mother-in-law. The program team arranged for everyone to go to Spain, and the family of three was separated during the recording. Mr. Zhang Jin wanted to go back to find Cai Shaofen, but his mother wanted to arrive at the hotel together first.
Zhang Jin was quite embarrassed at the time, and his mother was tired of walking on the exotic street, and it was unlikely that he would go with him to find his wife. In the end, he chose to go to the hotel with his mother first. After settling everything down, he wanted to go out to find his wife, but his mother said, "Who are you looking for?" Here Zhang Jin did not blindly compromise, but took the initiative to find his missing wife.
Cai Shaofen and Zhang Jinhui found the hotel, and the old disease recurred and lay on the sofa to rest. But the mother-in-law has been next to her to blame why they were separated at that time... Cai Shaofen, who had no strength, could only close her eyes helplessly and listen silently, without arguing.
Compare your heart to your heart and treat it with sincerity. The essence of the mother-in-law relationship is actually not related in the end, everyone just knows a man together. Therefore, such a relationship is more suitable for "the combination is coming, and the disagreement is to maintain a polite and polite distance" . Like the papi sauce mother said, don't treat the mother-in-law as a mother, load bad emotions on each other's shoulders, just amplify the contradiction.
"Mother" does not mean perfection
It's just an identity for a woman
Admittedly, maternal love is great. In the mainstream values from ancient times to the present, mothers represent selflessness and tolerance. But at a macro level, motherhood is just one of many social roles for women, and it doesn't mean perfection. How many people in this world can be truly selfless?
Interestingly, it may be genes, or long-term life words and deeds, "when I grow up, I will become you" has become the law of many children growing up, behind which is the dependence or recognition of the mother. Just like in "All Is Good", Su Mingyu hates his mother's inhumanity the most, but Su Daqiang says that you (strong look) really look like your mother.
Admit it, no matter how we have struggled and rebelled, after the storm of growing up, the "truth" said by my mother will always flash in everyone's mind from time to time. No matter how much you are usually angry with your mother's nagging, when you are confused, you will still unconsciously think of or ask your mother for help.
It can be seen that the child is not only a continuation of life for the mother, but also the inheritance of the soul. The image of the mother affects the child's life. The boy depends on the mother, and the mother image will become the courtship standard for the boy when he grows up; the girl will continue to imitate the mother and identify with the mother's behavior, which will also be projected into her later married life.
The observers of "My Boy" often interact with "Mom Says."
Wu Zhihong said in "Why Home Hurts": "The only thing that can really create a sense of security is love." Home is the harbor, love is the way back. Feelings are far more important than so-called facts, and in the family, understanding and accepting each other's feelings is the most important. ”
Because of love, choose to listen; because of respect, so understand.
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