Nowadays, many people have realized that love also needs a certain sense of boundaries, but how to grasp this sense of boundaries? Security has always been a hot topic in emotional relationships, and how to obtain a solid sense of security is a science. Tonight at 20:30 (November 6) "Do Not Disturb" with you to find out.
Grasp the sense of boundaries in love and find the point of convergence for mutual acceptance
In the emotional experience of male guest Ding Hongzheng, there are two labels that do not want to recall: one is "cold violence", one is "weekend couple", "the first relationship was very romantic at the beginning, cold violence began after half a year together, and the concern never got a reply, resulting in me often speaking coldly to girls in the second relationship, resulting in a breakup." In another relationship, the girl is as independent as me, we are busy, only to get together on the weekend, and the state of 'weekend couple' keeps us from going to the end. Subsequently, a big discussion on the topic of love's "sense of boundary" was launched.
The sense of boundaries is an emotional relationship, and even a very important presence in interpersonal relationships. If it is just a warm effort, two people are as good as one person, then the characteristics of the self disappear; if the sense of boundaries is too strong, both people are too independent, and the relationship is difficult to last. How to grasp the sense of boundaries? Three teachers suggested: mature love should be both integrated and independent, as for the proportion, by the two people to decide together, "take a few days a week together as an example, you can use a quantitative way, each person to come up with three values, such as I most expect the frequency is five-sevenths, I can accept the vertex is six-sevenths, I can accept the bottom line is two-sevenths, two people compare the values, and soon they can find overlapping points." ”
Meng Fei emphasized: "Two people in life have a lot of things to run into, there are many things to discuss, you can accommodate me, I can accommodate you, what can be accommodated, what can not be accommodated, everyone must think clearly." ”
Female guest Ruan Mengjing insisted on leaving the lamp until the end, and the male guest said that he preferred the independent and courageous girl who was more concerned about her career, would she be the type that the male guest liked?
Security has nothing to do with looks and temper, but from the firmness of the heart
Male guest Wang Fusheng, although he is a water quality inspector by profession, is a trendy young man who loves locomotives and street dance after work, "Don't look at my height of 1 meter 90, dance street dance to coordinate specially!" At the scene, he put forward a very special mate selection standard, "Like the kind of girl who is too popular with boys, the girl who is too hot-tempered, I will not talk about it again in the future." My first love was the type of type with long flowing hair, clean and beautiful, especially popular with boys. After being together, I found that she was too suspicious, as long as there is a member of the opposite sex in my WeChat, she will confirm her identity, and the girl will ask her if I like her in the circle of friends; the second relationship girl is very fierce and strong, often yelling at me regardless of the occasion. Although reluctant, I still feel that the personality is not suitable for proposing a breakup. I hope that the future other half can be gentle and considerate, respect each other, and let me feel a little safer. ”
Female guests believe that male guests can not attribute their sense of security to the appearance or temper of the other half, "whether there is a sense of security in the emotional relationship, may not have much to do with what they look like, how their temper is, and the sense of security is given to themselves." ”
Meng Fei believes that a word that has a lot to do with security is "firmness", "security must be brought about by inner firmness, not by looking at appearance or temper." Girls with brains have judgment standards for the quality of boys, and they must be firm in their own scales and boundaries, and firmly be true to themselves and confident themselves. ”
Huang Lan and Chen Ming also stated that making their hearts full and becoming excellent and confident enough is the root of obtaining a sense of security. The three teachers suggested that everyone must clearly understand what is a sense of security before talking about security, a rich and firm person will not emphasize security again and again in the emotional relationship, when you really become independent and strong, you can control your destiny and life, dare to face difficulties and challenges, you will no longer worry about security, then you can have the most stable sense of security.
In the end, will there be a female guest who will leave the lamp for the boy until the end?
【Watching tips】:Jiangsu Satellite TV's "Non-sincere Do Not Disturb" is brilliantly staged tonight (November 6) at 20:30!