#Under what circumstances can people realize it##人生在世, what truth do you realize##What is the most important thing in people-to-people interactions.##有什么社会潜规则 #
01
Although the coppersmith's wife is fierce and evil, she actually understands the reason more than those intellectuals, and more accurately, it should be more common sense.
Moreover, if she did not appear later, Sun Jiazhen might have married a coppersmith, and later, even if Sun Jia left the coppersmith, she was likely to encounter embarrassment similar to Zhang Yiman.
After all, Chinese pay attention to: a day husband and wife for a hundred days. Not to mention the presence of such a grand ceremony and associated witnesses. This is not something that can be compared to a simple "pajamas" thing.
However, I have to admit that her expression is really difficult to accept for a while. In the complex adult realm, many times it is more important to say what to say than to say.
On the other hand, the old principal Sun Henghai is obviously very good at expressing it in an acceptable way, even if the situation is more bad and out of control and even collapses under his guidance, it still cannot affect his position as principal.
And Zhang Yiman also suffered losses from this. If, when she rejected the coppersmith, she could have Sun Henghai or Pei Kuishan's ability to turn such an embarrassing situation from dead to alive, maybe there would be no coppersmith's behavior behind.
Of course, this can not completely blame the coppersmith's wife and Zhang Yiman. After all, in the traditional Chinese family system, under the absolute hierarchy of "the father wants the son to die, the son has to die" and "the male is superior to the female inferior", it is possible to care less about language expression. To put it simply, everything in the high position of the family is right, and the person in the low position can just accept it. This is also an important reason for the problem of getting along with many people.
However, here, we need to pay attention to a detail, since the traditional marriage system of Chinese emphasizes the superiority of men and women, the coppersmith's wife is not qualified to treat the coppersmith so. And, in my previous "How to Understand the Change of The Coppersmith's Feelings for Zhang Yiman in the Donkey Water > of the Donkey < and the Rush to "Rise from the Dead", I also put forward a judgment of mine: the original status of the coppersmith's wife in the local area is likely to be higher than that of the coppersmith, or the coppersmith is a redundant inverted door.
Therefore, the coppersmith is so easy to be in the pajamas, and has such a cute love in the back, not so much a man's expression of love for women, but more like finding a life-saving straw and trying his best to obtain it. And this is good to explain why in that situation, he actually "came back to life" to go to the United States, to do such a thing for him is almost life and death, and even has the choice to go back.
And the coppersmith's wife is the one who constantly pushes the coppersmith back to the less uncertain range of life and death. Of course, what happened later, it is difficult to say. After all, later the coppersmith's wife was faced with less than a few teachers who "broke shoes" with their husbands.
Therefore, a lot of terrible things may happen after the scattered wedding, but often only from inference. Among them, including the death of Zhang Yiman.
02
Let's bring the conversation back to the matter of expression!
In order to better help everyone understand the role of the coppersmith's wife, we may wish to compare it with three other characters or real-life ones: one is Liu Shufen in "Regardless of the West", one is Ram in the murder of the Douyin Internet celebrity "Ram", and the other is the heroine Li Baoli in "Ten Thousand Arrows Through the Heart". Liu Shufen was beating her husband Xu Bochang. When he was beaten, Xu Bo often said: "You fight, kill me, you will lose thirty pounds of food stamps every month."
——This is also the voice of many Chinese men: Don't forget that I raised you, can you live without me?
What makes women most chilling is this.
Am I marrying you to make you thirty pounds of food stamps every month? You can only drink pickle soup when you finish eating the food stamps, you know? Have I fulfilled my obligations between husband and wife? Do I have a love affair between husband and wife?
You kill people with a cold blunt knife, and then you look innocent. Well, take ten thousand steps back and say, count you as innocent. So is this kind of marriage what you want? Are you happy to guard such a home?
One might ask: Then why didn't she get a divorce? But, if you know something about that past era, you will know: divorce at that time, especially for women, turned out to be miserable. If you only blame Liu Shufen for not being economically independent, it is too small to look at the seriousness of the problem behind it.
03
Let's look at another thing that is very close to now: the murder of the TikTok internet celebrity "Ram".
In 2008, 18-year-old Ram and Tang Lu married, and by the time of divorce, the two had lived together for more than 10 years. Shortly after the marriage, because Tang Lu went out to drink for two days and did not return home, the two of them beat Up Ram after an argument. Since then, Ram has cycled through a painful life of beatings and apologies and threats.
In this context, Ram is supported by her father, her two children and the life of posting short videos. Picking herbs up the mountain is Ram's main source of income, and when he is at leisure, Ram likes to use videos to decompress and entertain, and what she shares the most is the beautiful scenery of her hometown. In Ram's live broadcast, netizens have always seen Ram's laughter.
At the beginning of 2020, Ram was unable to bear domestic violence and agreed to divorce Tang Lu. Soon after, because of the child, the two were reunited.
In June 2020, Ram finally disappointed in Tang Lu, and Ram and Tang Lu divorced for the second time. In the divorce complaint, Ram described that "the plaintiff and the defendant were married for 13 years, and the defendant abused and beat the plaintiff for a long time because of trivial matters in his life."
At the end of June, the court ruled that the two were divorced, and custody of both children was awarded to the man.
Tang Lu later wanted to remarry, but Ram thought clearly and refused Tang Lu, and Tang Lu repeatedly came to harass and threaten Ram.
At about 20:00 on September 14, 2020, when Ram was broadcasting live at home, her ex-husband Tang Lu suddenly rushed to Ram, poured gasoline on Ram, ignited gasoline, Ram was sent to the hospital after severe burns, and Ram died tragically 16 days later.
Before the trial, Ram's family wanted to sentence Tang Lu to death and return custody of the child
"Before she died, the most reassuring thing was her father and her two children." Ram's sister Dolma said, "When the case is over, I will fulfill this wish for her."
From the accident to now, the Tang family has not appeared or apologized, "I have not seen it." ”
"I hope to sentence him (Tang Lu) to death." Dolma believes that Tang Lu has long been premeditated, the means are cruel, and there is a direct intention to kill people.
The behavior of criminals, that is, Ram's ex-husband, seems incomprehensible, but if in the feudal era, women must go against the grain, they must be born from the perspective of the husband's family, and death is the ghost of the husband's family, it is easy to understand.
Of course, this is a very obvious violation and should be severely punished. But in the days of Donkey Kong, Ram's ex-husband's thinking was mainstream, at least in that kind of place. That is to say, the coppersmith's wife has no choice but to catch the coppersmith.
04
In order to facilitate everyone to better understand how much a married and fertile woman needs to pay behind this and how many corresponding conditions and luck are available, let's look at Li Baoli's experience in "Ten Thousand Arrows Through the Heart".
In Wuhan in the 1990s, in an ordinary family, her husband Ma Xuewu (Jiao Gang) is the director of a factory office of a state-owned enterprise, and his wife Li Baoli (Yan Bingyan) is a hawker in Hanzheng Street, and the two have a son, Xiao Bao (Li Xian). A business split allowed the family to live in a new house, and it was expected that a series of unexpected changes followed from the day of the move: her husband Ma Xuewu filed for divorce, the wife found that her husband was cheating, the homeless mother-in-law wanted to move into a new home, and finally Ma Xuewu went to the road of suicide under a series of blows.
Baoli's good friend Xiao Jing (Zhao Qian) attributes all the misfortune to the bad feng shui of the new house, calling it "ten thousand arrows through the heart", but Li Baoli, who has a stubborn personality, is unwilling to compromise and is determined to support the family.
Later, she exchanged a beautiful start for her children through extremely hard work, but she won the child's condemnation of her, and the condemnation was that she caused her to be so young and had no father, but as long as her grandmother did not want her mother, leaving a dazed Paulie.
Compared to Liu Shufen and Ram and the coppersmith's wife, BaoLi was much luckier. However, Paulie paid an extremely hard, long and long time, and still endured the notoriety of "Shrew" and the result of rebellion.
In addition, the reason why she was able to come out in the end had a lot to do with the fact that her environment was a big city and that she was a local. Otherwise, even if she dies, she still won't get that sense of ease. Because according to the law, she and her son are not obliged to support her mother-in-law who finally took her son away.
It's just that in that case, both have their own needs and have to be bound together. However, from the calculation of interests, it is clear that Baoli's mother-in-law, more accurately, is the former mother-in-law.
Of course, Paulie's ending seems to be lamentable, but there is still hope. After all, although the children are older, there are so many variables behind them, and the mother-in-law will get older and older, if something happens, whether they can cope with it is really not certain. Not to mention, the sons are so old, the career is still so beautiful, should talk about the girlfriend, there are still more things behind it!
Thus, on the surface, it is a conflict within a marriage, but behind it is related to a fierce conflict between tradition and new civilization. If we really follow the traditional system, unless we enter the money, the coppersmith's wife cannot have the possibility of directly treating the coppersmith, but if it is carried out according to the new idea of equality between men and women, that kind of place does not have the corresponding qualifications at all. Therefore, the coppersmith wife in it is also very painful, but she does not know how to express it reasonably.
After all, how can a woman's voice, which has been suppressed for so long, suddenly be so perfect? However, such a complicated situation did not give her a defense lawyer, let alone a defense lawyer who really understood her and could fight for her reasonable interests.