#Under what circumstances can people realize it##人生在世, what truth do you realize##What is the most important thing in people-to-people interactions.##有什么社会潜规则 #
01
Donkey Got Water is a tragicomedy. Lu Xun, a great writer, pointed out in "On the Fall of leifeng Pagoda again": "Tragedy destroys the valuable things of life for people to see, and comedy tears apart the worthless things for people to see." Among them, whether it is tragedy or comedy, there must be some destruction or tearing parts. And, Zhang Yiman obviously assumed such a role in the play.
Of course, it was not only Zhang Yiman who was torn apart and destroyed, but there were some others, but not as direct and obvious as Zhang Yiman. In the play, the torn part of Pei Kuishan is also obvious, that is, he was a little condescending at first, but he was still a bit of a warm attitude and appearance. Of course, this is indispensable to the factors caused by his good feelings for Zhang Yiman.
Some people will say: his love for Zhang Yiman is obviously conditional. But, for most ordinary people, love is conditional. That's why I say: Mount Pei Kui is not far from us.
02
Leaving aside the glamorous mantle of being an educator, he is actually a layman. A layman who continued the entanglement, vanity and wandering of most people of that era. A layman who takes face and the feeling of being on top of him as extremely important.
If Zhang Yiman is willing to play a role similar to the runaway woman he rescued, maybe they will really lie together, or even marry, and live a life similar to that in "Doll's House". It can also be understood that he is a person who is willing to leave a crack in the door for Nala after running away from home. However, what will happen after Nala enters the door is unknown.
However, in terms of his performance in a series of things such as fire fighting, Zhang Yiman can hardly expect him to have any responsibility. This is also the reality faced by many married women in China. As the TV series "Thirty Only" said: "Everyone wants to avoid the wind, who is in charge of Hong Kong?" And Pei Kuishan is likely to be like most people just "for the sake of ease and peace of mind, just to live a solid life." ”
Therefore, Zhang Yiman did not agree, which is also reasonable. However, Zhang Yiman still underestimated the malice towards women in that era.
03
Of course, Pei Kuishan knew that Zhang Yiman's initiative to go to the nightwear coppersmith had elements that wanted to help this group of teachers avoid trouble. He also knew that he had not received a positive reply from Zhang Yiman about the relationship between the two of them. However, at that moment, the result of all the feelings and thoughts in his heart was that Zhang Yiman was a slut.
To understand why, we need to understand in more detail the specific formation of men's views on women in that era.
As we mentioned before, it was an era that had just emerged from the imperial system, from the feudal era of arranged marriages and the idea of male superiority and inferiority, but there was no new order. However, for the weak, it is too difficult and unrealistic to establish a new order, so choosing to continue the old order is the first choice for the vast majority of people. Just like Bai Jiaxuan in "White Deer Plain", he said: "There is no emperor, how will the days ahead?" So the atom, consciously or unconsciously, moves toward the old pattern.
And, on that atom, none of the women who dared to be aggressive in terms of sex ended up well. Of course, the days that are not pursued are not necessarily good. According to the saying inside: "The woman is just a paper that pastes the window, and when it is broken, it is peeled off and then a new layer is pasted." Even the window paper itself maintains the order of the window paper, just like Bai Jiaxuan's mother, Bai Zhao, who has firmly maintained feudal etiquette all her life, and the most proud thing is to cultivate Bai Jiaxuan to become the most qualified successor in the patriarchal society, and it is also under the guidance of such a perverted mother that Bai Jiaxuan is most proud of pasting seven layers of window paper in his life, that is, marrying a woman in seven rooms.
Although Zhang Yiman is not as lucky as the luckiest woman among them, he is definitely much luckier than most of them.
Therefore, Pei Kuishan felt that he was very civilized and noble, and there was a reason for it.
Don't look down on him. In fact, even in the current 21st century, he is already much more civilized than some people who are more cultured and beautiful than him. For example, the Bao Lili incident, Lin Yihan, who wrote the tragic song of the sexually assaulted minor women in "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", in which the men cannot be judged by arrogance, but must be defined by PUA, clothed animals, hypocrites, and criminals.
And, Compared with them, Pei Kuishan was like a clear stream. It's just that the speed at which this clear stream turns into a torrent is really too fast, it is simply a 180-degree change.
Of course, this may have been intentionally done to give the play a better tension. But how to explain such a transformation process requires a lot of effort and involves a deeper knowledge of psychology.
First, we need to know these three psychological concepts: narcissism, the scapegoat effect, and the broken window effect.
The more accepted explanation for narcissism is a state of mind in which self-worship and care too much for one's own perfection. If not in extreme cases, narcissism can actually be seen as an important element of healthy psychology. To put it simply: before Zhang Yiman and the coppersmith had a nightwear incident, Pei Kuishan, although he had a very high self-esteem, thought that he was a good person, a noble person, but still belonged to the scope of normal mental health. However, the reality is that Zhang Yiman's nightgown incident gave him a heavy slap, a slap that he could not bear, and the shortcut for many people to get rid of this pain is often to find a scapegoat.
The more accepted explanation for the scapegoat effect is that the strong emotions and impulses caused by something cannot be directly vented to this object, but are transferred to another object. In crowd psychology, people call the phenomenon of psychological effects caused by scapegoats the scapegoat effect. The scapegoat originally referred to the sheep that ancient Judaism used as a sacrifice on Yom Kippur, indicating that it was the one who suffered on behalf of others, and later compared to the person who suffered on behalf of others.
Of course, in addition to Zhang Yiman, there were other factors and people that caused the coppersmith's affair in the nightwear, such as the fact that others did not stop it in time and the coppersmith did not uphold the wind of Yanagishita Hui. This is all an opportunity to become Pei Kuishan's search for a scapegoat. In real life, there is still the kind of person who still chooses to accept the woman because his girlfriend or wife is cheating, and says that the man is not or someone else is not. What's more, Zhang Yiman's pajamas coppersmith itself has a great component in itself for everyone's good. However, Pei Kuishan still chose Zhang Yiman, even if he clearly showed that he had a good feeling for Zhang Yiman. Why?
And my understanding is that Zhang Yiman became a scapegoat in addition to the scapegoat effect, there is also an element of the broken window effect.
The broken window effect is a criminology theory proposed by James Q. Wilson and George L. Kelling. This theory holds that undesirable phenomena in the environment, if left unattended, will induce people to imitate them, or even exacerbate them. In the case of a building with a few broken windows, if those windows are not repaired, there may be vandals who will destroy more windows. Eventually they might even break into buildings and, if found uninhabited, perhaps settle there or set fire to them. A wall, if some graffiti appears and is not washed away, soon the wall is covered with messy and unsightly things; a sidewalk has a little confetti, and soon there will be more garbage, and eventually people will discard the garbage on the ground as a matter of course. This phenomenon is the broken window effect in criminal psychology.
Among them, the person who has the most sexual window breaking effect is Zhang Yiman.
Of course, the opportunity to gain the power to control part or even all of the group is also an important reason why Pei Kuishan can do so.
At that moment, he seemed to have changed from an awkward little teacher to a famous general, whose brilliance could make up for his lost sense of narcissism at that moment.
If at this time the group manager, that is, the principal intervenes in time, things may stop here. After all, Zhang Yiman went to the pajamas coppersmith for everyone, but the principal did not do it. Allowing this sense of narcissism to continue to spread, it spreads by constantly squeezing Zhang Yiman's existence, which leads to a situation that is even more out of control later.
04
Indeed, a true warrior, dare to face the bleak life, dare to face the dripping blood. However, when a person is not a real warrior, but has to face the harsh reality, but there is no way out, it is easy to do extreme things. For example, resenting the person who allowed himself to see more blood than he could.
In addition, the shortcut to relieving yourself of feeling bad is to find someone worse than yourself, or someone worse, to crush it and get a feeling of "at least a cushion after death". Of course, if it can't be found, direct destruction is also an acceptable way for some people. At that moment, the psychological line of the person is often: I know I am bad, but I can ruin you, which is enough to show that I am not so bad.
However, such people are relatively easy to find in reality, which is an important reason why you need to be careful in the real adult world.
The so-called freedom is not adult, adults are not comfortable.
But when you know how to accept such a reality, you will have the possibility of liberation from suffering, and even transcendence. And that's another system.