Wen | a good pregnant sister
"I have long advised her not to cling to the surname, this is good, the child is a big misfortune!"
The old lady shook her head while feeling speechless about Lily's approach, as a family with two children, they did not care about the grandson's surname at all, but Lily was stubborn, and felt that the child born in her life should follow the mother's surname, and the in-laws had a long time to make the child take the mother's surname, originally thought that the second child would follow the father's surname, but before the second child, the child was wronged.
"Obviously, he is the eldest grandson of the man's family, and his treatment is not as good as that of his granddaughter, and he is obviously targeted."
As a party, Lily also felt the gap, first the husband's attitude changed, he was not very enthusiastic about the child, and then the in-laws ignored it, and the daughters of the sister-in-law's family were better than their own sons, obviously angry with the children. In desperation, Lily had to agree to change her surname back, and the in-laws were happy.
In reality, there are many cases of lily in the same situation, some are within the range of relatives and friends, and some have expanded the scope, even affecting the children's school life. It can be seen from this that there are advantages and disadvantages to following the mother's surname, and parents must have a good idea and clear the pros and cons before making a decision.
The advantages of following the mother's surname: to improve the status of women, to regain the right to the title and inheritance
When Lily got married, the mother's family accompanied a suite and a car, and all the dowry shares were compared to the son, and a bowl of water was completely flattened, the reason is that Lily said, the pension is evenly shared, the child is born with the mother's surname, the same continues the incense. When a daughter can do the same as her son, parents will treat it fairly. In the traditional concept, the right to crown and inheritance is bundled, and those who can continue the family incense can get the family's property, otherwise there is only a few dowries and marriages.
However, Lily's in-laws made a "discrimination" that made Lily make a new decision, and now she has returned the house, leaving only a car of more than 100,000 yuan, which is a dowry, who let her change the child's surname back.
Disadvantages of following the mother's surname: the man does not recognize it, and the child is easily targeted
"Men do not approve of babies who do not follow their own surnames, especially men with low education."
Parenting expert Teacher Li once said a sentence, men in the child's surname rights, just like the males in nature, eager to soak in the cubs near the pee to draw the ground, the title of the right is the "mark of our side" of human society, if not given a mark, the man's father's love will be reduced, or even ignored.
Men and women are not the same, the child is a piece of meat that falls from the mother's body, the natural sense of mother-child unity determines that women will naturally love children, but men are different, their small brains hide too much calculation and calculation, the "solipsism" of the patriarchal society makes them learn not to consider from the female standpoint, once the child does not follow their own surname, they will feel that their self-esteem is challenged, and the father and son will also disappear.
The general environment's view of the mother's surname: there are many misunderstandings, and there is a long way to go
As one of the first to eat crabs with the mother's surname Bao Ma, I admire Lily, even if she later yields, it is worthy of respect, after all, the environment is alive, for the sake of the child's situation, any bao mom does not dare to take risks.
"I'm a mom, and I can only pave my child's way, not add thorns."
Lily's experience is good, I have also encountered because the mother's surname was misunderstood that the father is gone, the parents are reorganizing the family, the father is in the excess, etc. The family is misunderstood, for them, this road is a long way to go, the road that no one has walked is bound to be full of hardships, whether it is insisting or giving up, it is worth applauding!
Finally, do you have similar cases around you? Speak your mind!
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles, welcome to pay attention to [good pregnancy], you want to know about the scientific pregnancy preparation, pregnancy care, baby health, growth and development, can find the answer here!