A "textbook" dialogue between a father and an adolescent daughter

It is said that getting along with adolescent children is a kind of practice, especially for daughters. Parents discipline their children from an early age, mostly with preaching and commanding, condescending. In the hearts of parents has long been planted a "habitual education and communication" seed, children grow to a certain stage, will have their own opinions and ideas, their own growth needs to be affirmed, and parents often into the "I cling" and "she should" this kind of thinking misunderstanding, and the effect of the fact is often that they can not close the scene, nor can they solve the problem.

My daughter is in the 8th grade, 14 years old this year, is a well-behaved girl, from a young age to learn well, not to pick people, good looks, but since the second year of junior high school, we will find that she learned to resist, learn to vent the roar, learn to scare people. Often a test is not very good, by her mother's blame, she can casually say: you are a college student, you take a full score to show me? Then I shut myself in the study and didn't go out for half a day, and my mother gave up the next communication and criticism education.

As a father, I feel that the "strong attack" must have no results, so I took out her examination paper to review it, and found that she did well in the overall test, especially in Chinese, and even scored 142 points, which is also the top three in the grade, only 136 points in mathematics and 145 points in English. The mother's criticism is obviously too harsh, and this score is not known to the child how much effort to get.

When my children were about to eat dinner (that day was a weekend), I took the initiative to call the door, and the child opened the door, still disdainfully returning to the study desk to read a book. I said that Dad has been a little distressed lately and wants to share it with you, and you can give me an analysis and analysis that is feasible. She looked at me in surprise and I said it was true. Dad has a customer, it is difficult to get entangled, can not be attacked for a long time, usually communication is also good, the key is that it has not been able to close. Later, I heard that customers love fishing, I found my own friend to give him about the fishing ground, he likes to eat seafood, I entrusted someone to airlift seafood from Qingdao to him, he was very happy, but the order has not been able to be traded, this has been with more than half a year, I am thinking what exactly affects the transaction of this order? I didn't expect my daughter to casually say: Dad, is it not to find the real needs of customers, you said that the interests and hobbies are the basis of your friends, and the order is a matter in the business field, whether the product can bring him economic benefits should be the first reason. I said, he's also doing the products of our peers, and he's doing a good job. The daughter said, then you should find the answer from his clients. I was also struck by the child's ability to think businessily and reason logically. Well, you make a lot of sense. Just like when your mother criticizes you for not doing well in the exam, you can't accept it, including in the afternoon, your attitude should be the same. She looked at me with a smirk, and then, with a sigh, Hey! Isn't this "Mom's Autumn Pants"?

In fact, after a simple exchange, I found that our parents were eager to "hope that the daughter would become a phoenix" and the idea of "self-grasping" was solidified. Children in adolescence long to be recognized, respected, found beautiful side, blindly hit or urge, command discipline, children's self-confidence will be missing, love is the root of everything, children need to be in her thoughts, consciousness, mind tends to mature, accompanied by growth, equality, respectful communication, discover her beauty, cultivate her self-confidence are crucial. What do you say? Welcome to share your story.

Author: Ya Mei Seven Degrees