First, when I was chasing my girlfriend, going to her house at night, she didn't want to, her fingers were caught in the door, the clamp was unbearable, I didn't pull my hands, squeezed inside, my eyes were quite firm... , Now at night in order to run out to play, she didn't let me, the front foot went out and the foot was clamped by her with the door, fell mouth full of mud, hard to climb out, eyes full of desire for freedom ... ...
Second, today I was a little injured, my boyfriend accompanied me to do MRI, I: "I have claustrophobia, so scared!" He said to me unceremoniously, "What a compliance! You're still claustrophobic, trying on clothes in the fitting room, I see you hate not being able to lie in it and not come out. ”
Third, a few days ago, the boyfriend's family gave birth to four baby dogs, so cute! I said to my boyfriend: When the baby dog is older, I will take one away! Later, when I went to my boyfriend's house again, Erha saw me and moved with the baby dog in horror and hid everywhere! As a result, this stupid thing came and went, fell into one of the shoes, and the goods could not be found, and yelled at me, looking like I stole it!
Fourth, a friend of mine opened tobacco and alcohol wholesale, and also operated some foreign liquor. Background handover complete. Dude went to buy vegetables at noon to plan a small drink. Leave me to see the shop. A short time later came a man with a woman's special suit B. Pointing to a bottle of foreign wine and asking how much? I held out four fingers, meaning forty pieces. The dude said I often bought you three hundred and didn't sell. I could only blush and say, forget it. All acquaintances.
Fifth, take the little nephew downstairs to buy a few pounds of plums, the stall owner is very enthusiastic: taste it casually, taste it casually. The little nephew listened to it casually, picked up a mango and tore the skin... The stall owner weighed the plums with a wooden face, I didn't want to go but bought a few more mangoes, the stall owner's face was cloudy, and he weighed the scale sharply, and then picked up a mango about the same size as his nephew and put it back in place, which was handed to me.
Sixth, a robber kidnapped a rich second generation. Fu Er Dai persuaded the robbers to abandon the dark and cast light, and the robbers listened to it and told them all about their own experiences, and their tears were all tearful, and their feelings were deep, and the robber pointed a gun at Fu Er Dai and said: "After hearing so much, are you moved?" Fu Er Dai shook his head vigorously: "Don't dare to move, don't dare to move." The robber: "Ask you again, are you moved?" Fu Er Dai still shook his head: "Don't dare to move, don't dare to move." As a result, the robbers shot and killed the rich second generation, saying, "Rich people are really amazing!" ”
Seven, a friend of mine, full of acne, one day he had a sudden idea, caught a dozen mosquitoes, hungry for a few days, and then used tweezers to clip the mosquito wings close to the acne. After the mosquitoes struggled for a while and then began to suck blood, after a few minutes he was covered with mosquito lumps, and the next day, his acne was gone.... Gone.....
Eighth, I heard my eldest cousin say that he was a stutterer when he was a child, and later he was cured. Asked how he did it, my eldest cousin told me that his father did not know where to find a home remedy in order to cure his stuttering: it is said that at the moment of thunder, the stuttering person slapped a big mouth, and the stuttering could be fine... And I asked, "Is that cured?" "Of course not, but my dad thought that the timing of the mouth was not mastered, so after a thunder slap on my mouth, I didn't want to be beaten and practiced talking every day, stuttering was cured!"
9. Invite the goddess to dinner and ask her what the criteria for choosing a mate are. She was silent for a long time and suddenly picked up the chopsticks and said: "This chopsticks are so long", she clipped a chicken leg again: "This chicken leg is so thick", and then clipped a piece of ribs: "This rib is so hard", and finally she raised her glass and said: "This wine has been open for half an hour or the wine is overflowing, good wine."
Ten, the company held a meeting, sitting in the back of the man accidentally sneezed. When the man looked up, he found that the snot had spilled onto the back of the female colleague! The female colleague was not aware, so the man secretly tried to help her erase. The man just put his hand up and was spotted by another colleague next to him! The colleague shouted, "How do you smear your nose on people's bodies?!" ”