Lincoln's Bumpy Road in Politics (1)

Reading Lincoln's biography, you must admire his extraordinary wisdom and outstanding skills in defeating the party's first opponent, senator Seward of new York State, who won the first opponent in the party, as a self-taught, self-made country lawyer, and his extraordinary determination and patience to turn the tide and win the arduous Civil War when the United States was facing a crisis of division. But what amazes me is that Lincoln, the author of the Gettysburg Address, made two mistakes that ordinary people would never make: he naively thought that returning blacks to their ancestral homeland, Africa, was the fundamental solution to avoid discrimination by whites (see today's Middle Eastern and African refugees risking their lives to go to Europe), thus offending black leaders and black brothers; he appointed McClellan, an arrogant and selfish Democrat known as "Little Napoleon", as commander of the Confederate Army. When he repeatedly resisted and lost his troops, he did not replace him in the face of strong protests, resulting in the defeat of the Northern Army and the unnecessary sacrifice of a large number of soldiers! But what surprised me even more was that Lincoln, a great political man, was discredited by scandals before his marriage and suffered from depression to the point of suicide! I have three laments about Lincoln's emotional world: first, that he and Ann could not be the kindest and most perfect first couple in American history; second, that since he had accepted Mary's love, why he did not let her feel more warmth (she would not become a famous shrew in history); and three lamented that the Lincolns lost a most Lincoln-like and gifted son, the only surviving son who sent his mother to an insane asylum after his father was killed.

Immortal's first love

Driven by the idea of "longing to rise," 21-year-old Lincoln left his father and stepmother to carry a bundle of belongings to New Salem, Illinois, a new town. He worked part-time and carried out systematic self-study. Three years later he decided to study law to qualify as a lawyer. It was during this period that he met the most affectionate first love of his life. The poet Edgar Lee Masters has a poem: I am Ann Ratledge, the lifelong love of Abraham Lincoln, who slept under these little grasses. Marry him, not through union, but through separation. Oh, you flower of the republic, blooming in the land in my chest! In New Salem, Lincoln always brought his law books into the woods, stretched out on the lush vegetation mounds, and read books. At that time, Ann Ratlich was likely to be with him. Ann was the daughter of a hotel owner, and Lincoln would stay in the shop from time to time. A few years after Ann's death, Lincoln is said to have revealed his feelings for Ann to an old friend, Isaac Cogdal. Cogdal asked him if he had ever fallen in love with her, to which Lincoln replied, "Yes—indeed... She was a dignified girl – would be a good wife who loved me deeply... Frankly I do love this girl and now I miss her a lot – a lot. According to the memories of neighbors and friends in the town, Ambine was a few years younger than Lincoln, born with big talking eyes, reddish-brown hair and a beautiful face. She is loved by all, and her intellect is said to be "agile—sharp—profound, and wise and ice-smart." The townspeople thought she was a woman worthy of Lincoln's love. Ann and Lincoln begin with a friendship and are transformed into a love story at some point. They are said to have reached a consensus to marry after Ann completed her studies at the Girls' College in Jacksonville. The summer of 1835 was one of the hottest in Illinois history. Ann, who was only 22 years old, along with several friends of Lincoln, was killed by an epidemic of deadly high fever (most likely typhoid fever) that swept through the town. After Ann's death, "Lincoln seemed indifferent to big things happening," one neighbor recalled. "I don't talk much, but I'll take his gun and go around the woods alone." Elizabeth, a neighbor who was Lincoln's mother at the time, claimed that she "had never seen a man who was more sadder than he was for the death of his companion." His sorrow would be aggravated on dark days, for he said he "could never bear the storm and snow whipping her grave." Those who knew him feared that he had suffered from "temporary insanity" unless he himself perked up, "reason would forsake him." Lincoln admitted that he was a bit "derailed" after Ann's death. He had lost three of his closest women: his mother (who died at the age of 9), his sister (who died in childbirth, Lincoln was 19), and Ann. Elizabeth insisted that he was "not sick" and was just very sad. "Only those who can love intensely," Writes Leo Tolstoy, "will also feel great pain; but this need for love can also react to their grief and heal them." A Friend and Neighbor of New Salem asked Lincoln if he believed there was an afterlife, and Lincoln bitterly replied, "No, I'm afraid not." It's not a happy thing to think that we're dead and gone. Lincoln was a firm believer in God, but historian Bruce notes that there is no published document that proves that Lincoln believed that the soul did not die. Coincidentally, Secretary of State Seal, Lincoln's top presidential rival and later his chief aide, held the same view. When Seward's wife and beloved daughter died one after the other because of his stabbing (at the same time as Lincoln's stabbing), Seward told his friend that he did not believe that his wife and daughter would be reunited in heaven, although it would make him happy. Seward was Lincoln's best highly engaged friend during his presidency, and the hero saw the same thing. Without this belief to alleviate the grief of losing a loved one, one can imagine how much pain Lincoln endured after His death. Nevertheless, Lincoln completed his legal self-study and obtained his bar license. subsequently. Stuart, a friend who lent him law books, invited him to be a partner.

Reject Fat Mary

Although Lincoln was full of humor and intellectual passion, and excellent eloquence, he was stupid in front of women. His female friends are limited to older and married women. Lincoln's companions when he was a lawyer recalled that Lincoln had a strong physical desire for women, but he was able to restrain his desires and passions with a sense of honor and conscience. At that time, the prostitutes who could be found everywhere on the frontier were closely related to Lincoln. If Lincoln's first love ended in tragedy, then his second love can be said to have ended in comedy. A year after Ann's death, Lincoln began pursuing Mary Owen, the sister of his mother Elizabeth. It is said that Mary's appearance was "dignified", with dark blue eyes, and "very lively". She is well educated and comes from a wealthy and comfortable family in Kentucky. She was also specifically mentioned as a "talkative and very good reader." Lincoln had met Mary a few years earlier when she was visiting her sister's house. After Ann's death, Elizabeth believed that Mary and Lincoln were a match made in heaven and proposed to return to her mother's house to bring Mary back. Lincoln was "overjoyed." He remembered That Mary was smart and cute, a good companion, just a bit "oversized". The annoying change had already taken place when Mary, 28, returned to Illinois. Lincoln later wrote somewhat exaggeratedly: "She now seems to be a good match for Faustav (the big fat man in Shakespeare's play)—open teeth, weathered appearance", and is so large that "she can't look like that if she is less than 35 or 40 years old". He tried to persuade himself that "thoughts are far more cherished than outward appearances" and tried to "imagine that she was really dignified, if it were not for her unfortunate obesity." Lincoln came up with many ways to delay that nasty day — that day he had to fulfill his promise to propose! But in the end he felt morally obligated to speak. On a beautiful day in 1837 (May 7), Lincoln wrote what was probably the strangest and least tempting marriage proposal. "After all, living in Springfield is a boring thing," he said of the frustrating life she might share with him. "I'm afraid it will be difficult for you to satisfy. People here often ride around in horse-drawn carriages to show off, and if you can't do that, you won't want to live. You will live a poor life without any cover-up. Do you think you have the patience to put up with this? ...... I will keep what I have said, if you will. My opinion is that you'd better not do that. You are not used to living a hard life, and it is more serious than you think. You honest Lincoln. Unsurprisingly, Mary rejected him. Her refusal prompted Lincoln to write a humorous self-black letter to a friend. He admitted that he was "ashamed" at the thought of this: I had taught her not to believe anyone, but she had rejected me with the greatness I had imagined. Also, that's when I first started to suspect that I really loved her a little bit. He was determined to "never again want to get married, for the above reasons; I will never be satisfied with someone stupid enough to marry me." "Despite his sleekness, Lincoln was a gentleman who did not lose his honesty, you say?"

Love Rich Mary

In April 1837, 20 months after Ann's death, Lincoln left New Salem for Springfield, a community of about 1,500 people. Lincoln prepared to begin his legal "experiment" here, but had no money to provide accommodation for himself. Luckily, Speed, the grocer who was called upon, had heard and impressed Lincoln (and sped could recite the closing words of the lecture decades later), and instead of buying his groceries on credit, he asked Lincoln to share his big bed with him. Lincoln immediately accepted and ended his years of emotional deprivation and mental loneliness— Speed became his first and deepest friend and drew suspicion that they were gay. After 1839, the rapidly developing city of Springfield became the capital of Yizhou. On the hillside, in the Edwards family mansion, Lincoln managed to track down the "beauty of the city", the young Mary Todd. She was living in the home of her married sister Elizabeth. Elizabeth's husband, who came from a well-to-do family, was the son of the former governor of Illinois. Mary is a famous bridesmaid in Lexington, Kentucky, and has received a much superior education than girls of her age. She studied language and literature at an advanced boarding school for 4 years and graduated after an additional 2 years of study. Lincoln's first encounter with Mary at a joyous party is widely circulated: he is fascinated by her lively demeanor, intelligent face, deep blue eyes, and dimples when she laughs. Lincoln is said to have said to her, "I want to dance with you in the worst possible way." That night Mary smiled and told his cousin, "Of course he was like that." Despite Lincoln's claims of renouncing marriage, 18 months later, in November 1838, at the age of 31, Lincoln became engaged to the bright and lively Mary Todd. At that time, the Edwards family's mansion was the social center of Springfield City. Lincoln was one of many young men gathered in the living room of Mary's sister's house. The girls there wore the most fashionable dresses to share food, wine and joyful conversations. In the eyes of Mary and Abbe (Lincoln's nickname), they are diametrically opposed in stature, temperament, and emotion. She was short and sexy, her corset made her plump breasts taller; he stood tall, but gaunt. Mary was open-minded, passionate, and "moody and angry"; but he, even Mary admitted, was a man of great self-control: "The deeper he felt, the less he expressed." She was a social person, "the kind of excitement." Lively and healthy, she was able to put "a bishop's words and forget his prayers." And Lincoln's good temper made him "a welcome guest everywhere," recalls a woman from Springfield. He rarely danced, preferring to find a place among men, and to entertain them effortlessly by telling funny stories (a trait inherited from his father, who had no other length, and who played an important role in Lincoln's political career - the magic weapon of friendship). Despite these differences, the two have a lot in common. First of all, Lincoln was always attracted to intelligent women, and Mary was a talented woman. Her grades in school were "top-notch" and she was able to take home "the biggest prize". Her memory and quick reflexes, combined with her thirst for knowledge, allowed her to share Lincoln's passionate discussion of books and poetry. Like Lincoln, she could memorize large passages of poetry, and both loved Robert Burns' poems. Even, 4 years after Lincoln's death, Mary traveled to the birthplace of Burns, Scotland, recalling one of her favorite poems about the loss of love, and she "sighed at the grave of poor Highland Mary." Second, like Lincoln, she was fascinated by politics because she grew up in a political home. One of Mary's happiest childhood memories was in lexington, in the elegant brick house of her father's house, to the witty and active dinner parties her father hosted. His father was a loyal Whig (former Republican) man who served in the Kentucky House of Representatives and Senate. At these feasts, Lincoln's idol Henry Clay was a regular guest, along with members of Congress, cabinet members, governors, and foreign envoys. Fascinated by their conversational discussions, Mary became "a fierce little Whig party." Her sister recalled that Mary was convinced that she was destined to be the wife of a future president. No doubt Mary told Lincoln about her many personal encounters with Clay, including one when she proudly rode her newly acquired pony to the politician's home. Both Mary and Lincoln were also keenly interested in the political struggles of the time, supporting the same "old hero" in the same "great cause." Finally, in addition to their shared love of poetry and politics, both Mary and Lincoln lost their mothers in childhood. When Mary was 6 years old, her 31-year-old mother died while giving birth to her seventh child. If Lincoln's father chose the right successor who brought him luck, Mary's father's remarriage made her worse. The harsh stepmother, who had cold blue eyes, gave birth to nine more children and was blatantly partial to her own nest of children. From the moment her stepmother stepped into the house, Mary later recalled that her childhood had become "bleak and sad." From then on, her real home was the boarding school she was banished to when she was 14 years old. This loss of discord and alienation, the mental instability in the history of growing up, and the severe migraine caused a friend to describe Mary as follows: "On a Day of April, the baby faces, and changes when you say it." Just sunny and laughing, the next moment I cried heartbroken. "She can be loving, generous, optimistic one day, and then vengeful, frustrated, and irritable the next day. According to a friend's colloquialism, she was "either in the attic or in the cellar." No matter what kind of emotion she is in, she needs attention. And that's exactly what the self-controlled Lincoln wouldn't offer. This is the source of the misfortune of the two after marriage. It seems that this kind of thing should not happen to the righteous gentleman Lincoln, but the repentance of marriage does happen. As the courtship period progresses, the qualities that initially attract both parties may become the cause of the conflict. Lincoln was initially interested in Mary's remarkable ability to direct gatherings, and he may later determine that this reflected a nasty and irrepressible spiritual need; Mary may later have thought that Lincoln's patience and objectivity indicated his alienation and inconsiderateness. Around the winter of 1840-1841, when they were talking about marriage, the relationship broke down. With no evidence to examine, Lincoln's emotional historians during the courtship were little known, while rumors and speculations were rife. It is possible that Mary facilitated the breakup, as she was influenced by the opposition of her sister and brother-in-law. The sisters and the couple thought Mary was going to marry Lincoln. Elizabeth warns Mary that she is inappropriate with Mr. Lincoln. They argue that Mary and Abraham were "so different in personality, thought—education, and upbringing that they could not be happy together." Mary also had other suitors, including a wealthy widower, a promising Democratic politician and a celebrity grandson, a likable lawyer. But Mary said in a letter to a friend: "I don't love him (the grandson of a celebrity), my heart is not in his, and my hand cannot be given to him (accepting a marriage proposal)." With so many good men to choose from, Mary might have decided that she needed time to consider her family's outright skepticism about Lincoln. More likely, Lincoln's own concerns prompted him to withdraw from this second engagement. While liking Mary's appearance, he seems to doubt whether he has the strength to love her as he moves toward ultimate responsibility. Speed, who slept with Lincoln in the same bed, recalled, "That winter Lincoln was very unhappy with their engagement—not entirely satisfied that his heart didn't go with his hand. "Coincidentally, Speed used the same expression as Mary: heart and hand, indicating that this was often used at the time to express the embrace of marriage but lacked the corresponding romantic feelings." No one knows better than I do how much Lincoln was in pain—he opened his heart to me. Recent academic studies have shown that Lincoln changed his mind because he was in love with Elizabeth's husband's cousin, Matilda Edwards. She came to Springfield for the winter. Even Mary herself reluctantly admitted: "I have not yet seen a girl more adorable than her (like Baoqin entering the Rongguo Mansion). Orville Browning traces everything from Lincoln's "spiritual infidelity" to the fact that he finds himself in a difficult situation: "Engaged to Miss Todd, but in love with Miss Edwards, his conscience worries him because he did what he thought he shouldn't have done and broken what he thought he shouldn't have done." While there is no evidence that Lincoln confessed to Matilda, Browning's observations of this complication are corroborated by the letters of an acquaintance. The resident noticed that although Lincoln and Mary were engaged, he "couldn't bear to leave Miss Edwards for half a moment." Lincoln thought she was so flawless, "If he had such divine power, he would not change a single bit of the face on her face." His mischief attracted criticism from his friends. Bell claimed that "friends thought his actions were very wrong and rash and outspoken to him, and he was extremely worried about the impact of the matter". Perhaps Lincoln's fascination with Matilda was merely a distraction from the imminent need to marry Mary, who, according to Elizabeth, was apprehensive about "his ability to please and support his wife" and skeptical of the institution of marriage itself. He may be afraid that his wife will deprive him of the goals he has devoted himself to pursuing. If he married, he would be responsible for the life and happiness of a woman who was accustomed to a life of wealth; he would not be able to read until late at night, and continue to expand his knowledge of law and politics to master them. Lincoln's fear that marriage would hinder his career was common at the time. The uncertainty of establishing a legal profession in the new market economy of the mid-19th century led many young lawyers to postpone the arrival of married status, driving their marriageable age. A Harvard Law School professor said a widely quoted quote: "The law is a jealous lover and requires frequent pursuits." "Politics is even more so. For Lincoln. Both require him to work hard to get results, and marriage is a trap for his ambitions. Lincoln drafted a letter of resignation to Mary. He asked Sped to deliver the letter but was refused. Speed cautioned him that he should interview her because "once written down in black and white, they become permanently living proofs against you." Lincoln did go to see Mary and tell her he didn't love her. As soon as she started crying, Lincoln panicked. "To be honest with you, Speed, I can't stand this. I felt tears dripping down my own cheeks. I hugged her and kissed her. The marriage contract was temporarily saved, but Lincoln had to see Mary again to cancel the marriage contract. The second encounter made Lincoln sad—both because he had hurt Mary and because he had long believed that his ability to hold his resolve was his only, or at least, primary character essence. (March 13, 2018)