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On the weekend, I was nagging Dabao's homework, always writing grinding and grinding, grinding and chirping, and did not develop good habits.
Dabao also seemed to be tired of listening, and continued to write his homework, ignoring me at all.
Looking at the back of his stubborn head, and the slightly bent back, and the small appearance of struggling to write a book, suddenly I could not speak, in fact, as a middle school student, where do children not know their problems?
However, he also has his own troubles, as well as his own way to solve problems, and his helpless and unable to ask for help; so I should not blindly criticize and ineffective nagging, but should give him enough time and space to guide him to find the right way, let him stimulate self-reflection ability, self-improvement is fundamental.
When children encounter problems, we as parents will always unconsciously say that children have not developed good habits.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" What exactly is > habit of data-track="8"? </h1>
Rousseau once summed up a sentence: children should grow up freely, and for them, the best habit is no habit.
Dewey pointed out that there is a mistake in people's understanding of "habit", equating habit with mechanical and external modes of action and ignoring intellectual and moral attitudes. In fact, habits are important not only in the way they are performed and acted, but also in cultivating intellectual and emotional tendencies.
Therefore, a child can grow up healthily and naturally, that is, a process of constantly developing good habits, often the cultivation of habits does not lie in what he deliberately does, but in the natural acquisition, which becomes an inseparable part of him.
For example, some children are used to reading every day, even if it is only 10 minutes to go to the bathroom, this is also a reading habit, of course, it is not recommended to read while going to the toilet!
For example, some children are accustomed to bouncing every day, even if they see the door frame and see a taller place, they have to bounce up and touch it, which is also a habit, and this habit subtly helps his height.
……
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="44" > behind all the habits of children, there may be parental habits</h1>
In the past two days, I have been reflecting on how Dabao's homework grinding was formed.
In fact, I am not the kind of person who is particularly fierce. Many times it is lazy, not thinking of making progress, and settling down with the situation. Doing things is more detail-oriented, lacking a big picture view.
I am so, how can I ask my children to do things crisply and neatly? For example, in homework, he will think about a certain problem for half an hour or more, and finally lose his mind, resulting in a delay in completing the homework; this is the result of the fact that I was always cutting the details of his homework?
For example, when I was in elementary school, I always pinched a little to send my children to school, so when I got to middle school, they naturally pinched a little bit to go to school, and I didn't think that middle school needed to enter school earlier.
For example, I once asked Dabao, "Why don't you like to raise your hand to answer questions in class?" ”
Dabao replied to me, "I don't like it. I basically know all those questions, but I just don't want to raise my hand. If I can't, I'll ask the teacher after class. ”
I continued: "But wouldn't it be better for you to actively raise your hand in class to answer questions?" ”
Dabao was impatient: "I don't want to, I'm like this, not excellent, but not backward." "Isn't this a direct reflection of me being at ease with what I encounter and not thinking ahead?"
I was speechless at the time, and afterwards I kept thinking, what should the future of my child be?
If he embarks on the route I hope, all the way to the 985, 211 hard work, and finally succeed in school and family happiness, I am of course pleased; but if he is just one of the many sentient beings, living an ordinary and ordinary life, more than the upper than the bottom, will I have to suffer for this? If he is more miserable and everything is not satisfactory, can I only accompany him to sink?
Should I guide him, help him, have the ability to embrace happiness, be able to not forget my heart in good times, and not lose hope in adversity?
And these abilities can be achieved by my nagging alone?
Obviously not, it should be the energy that I can reflect in my daily life, even if life does not have major ups and downs, but there are always all kinds of unhappiness, what should I do in the face of unhappiness? What do I do in the face of life's pride?
My little bits and pieces, the child will see in the eyes, remember in the heart, this is his vivid life lesson.
Like the grinding of homework, if I stopped nagging earlier, worked hard with him, timed together, and completed my own things, maybe the effect would be much better.
In addition, I repeatedly nagged his grinding, why not strengthen his grinding?
His understanding of himself will also become clear: I am a grinder, so it is normal that my homework is completed for a long time.
I gave him a negative label and let him be influenced by the implications, but still blamed him for not trying. The cruelty of adults, how can it not seem to be light and cloudy, but in fact it is stormy?
Only when the parent is not anxious, does not despise, accepts the child, and trusts the child, he can slowly gain the ability to improve.
The way one life expresses its love for another should first be to respect, not to transform. For every life is an individual.
Doing nothing and doing what is not said is the true meaning of education!