"Kids Aren't Stupid 2" poster
On this day, the middle level of a company was introducing the newly developed new mobile phone to customers at the meeting, and suddenly the phone call came, and in the video, the eldest son TOM was being beaten by a group of people. He rushed to find out that his son had robbed the old lady's jewelry.
Just now, he received a phone call, and his youngest son, Jerry, who was in elementary school, was caught stealing at school.
At the same time, the eldest son's good friend Chengcai was in danger in the group fight, the lame father was eager to save his son, desperate to wrestle with people, accidentally fell down the steps, and suffered fatal injuries to the head, in danger.
These are a few clips from the Singaporean educational film "Kids Are Not Stupid 2". Fifteen years on, countless parents and educators are still poked in by it and deeply educated.
If you only look at the above paragraph, you will definitely say: any country's adolescent children are the same, they are not good at studying, they are still running around, killing their parents, and it is really time to discipline them.
In fact, in life, we encounter many rebellious children in adolescence, in addition to not wanting to go to school, the performance of the situation is: addicted to the Internet, promiscuous friends and so on.
In such a situation, what should the family do?
Combined with the film, and my own experience, I would like to share a few views.
Stills from "Kids Aren't Stupid 2"
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > First of all, parents should look at their children and the problems they encounter during adolescence with a positive eye. </h1>
You can use appreciation education, with an appreciative eye to look at children, this is a key to open the door of children's hearts, but also the main theme of the film.
Growing up, his father's affirmation before his death made his son determined to use his fighting talent to the extreme and become a wrestler.
The same father, TO's father, knelt down to the robbed old lady and said sincerely: My son is a good boy, please give him a chance. Let the son be deeply touched, and finally the prodigal son turned back.
Adolescent rebellion is only an important stage in the awakening of a child's self-awareness. They want to be equal, they have to respect, they have to decide their own lives.
During this period, parents should change their cognition, put down the authority shelf, change the top view to a flat perspective, and say "N0" to the child everywhere, no longer suppress, not eager to correct. With an attitude of equality and respect, accompany children through this period of great physical and psychological changes.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, give the child enough companionship and spiritual love. </h1>
We all love our children and are willing to give. But what we give is more material love than the spiritual love that children want.
The two fathers in the film, the father of the adult talent, has no education and disability, is difficult to make a living, loves his son but will not love, only looks at academic performance, and takes extreme stick education as soon as there is a problem, so that his son cannot feel love.
Tom's father, a busy middle-class, who can create better material conditions for his son, regards preaching as education, forcibly instills various ideas on his son, but refuses to give his children a little understanding and the right to express themselves. Make your son feel like he has no home.
Adolescent children's attitudes towards their parents are very contradictory, on the one hand, they continue to need their parents' guidance, companionship and encouragement, on the other hand, they extremely hate their parents' forced interference and self-righteousness.
At this time, parents should learn some psychological knowledge of adolescent children, regularly arrange parent-child communication time, talk less and listen more, and understand their needs with their hearts.
Listening carefully has a great healing effect.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > Finally, parents should establish a lifelong growth concept and make themselves a role model for their children. </h1>
Chengcai uses violence to solve everything by dealing with it, learning from his violent father. He chose to join the gang during the confusion period, also because he did not have a good example to learn.
TOM scolds the teacher in the class, in addition to the adolescent hormones, but also because the parents' words and deeds are inconsistent, and the dishonest practices make him very disgusted with the hypocrisy of adults.
There is a terrifying prophecy: the growth of adolescent children must step on the corpses of their parents.
Parents used to be the umbrella of children, and in adolescence, they became the walls that children must break through to grow.
Only by overthrowing the parents, the first authority in life, can children get rid of the shackles of their roots and grow up.
In the film, the father who grew up violently also eventually died of violence. Under the guidance of the school, Chengcai's violence against his father has inherited and developed, and finally perfected himself.
TOM's father used to be self-righteous, and when he began to try to appreciate his son, he was dismissed as bored by his son.
And when the video recorded by the son inadvertently paves the way for the father's big order, the father and son will smile, and this "small thing" of mutual achievement makes the father and son reach a deeper reconciliation and recognition.
Learn to admit mistakes, learn to take responsibility, learn to slow down, and appreciate and embrace everything you hold most dear.
In this way, adolescent children will incarnate into various "problems" that force us to stop and learn to grow.
What we have to do is to pay close attention to our own growth in the midst of all kinds of things, and become a true and complete self.
For children, we must believe that they have their own self-sufficient, beautiful and upward intentions and responsibilities, and deeply bless them, not to be our copies and puppets, and to be brave enough to become themselves.
(2021-8-17 20：26)