Some time ago, there was such a news on the hot search: in a small county town in Chifeng City, Inner Mongolia, a group of criminal gangs with an average age of only 17 years old raped 45 women in just two years. The main culprit, Wang Ling, was only 23 years old and raped 29 women, of whom 28 were minors, 10 were even underage girls under the age of 14.
After looking at it, it was more anger than shock, and what was more than anger was incomprehension: why would such a group of children who were not deeply involved in the world behave so viciously, even if they were inferior to animals?
The main culprit, Wang Ling, whose father, Wang Liming, is a 10-year-old people's teacher who runs a wholesale department at home. Later, something happened in the family. Wang Ling was born to Wang Liming's second wife and had a son in old age. However, because his wife worked in the mine all year round and was rarely at home, Wang Liming had to buy goods from time to time, so Wang Ling was almost unattended when he was a child. Even Wang Ling was the target of school bullying when he was in elementary school and junior high school, and Wang Liming, as a father, had never heard of it. Later, Wang Ling returned as a soldier and became a "big brother of society", full of evil and adultery, and as parents, they had never heard of it. How can such parents be called parents?
When Wang Ling was sentenced to death, Wang Ling's father defended that Wang Ling's behavior was influenced by the social environment. This is the educational cognition of a former people's teacher and a father, and it has to be lamented.
Juvenile delinquency, it can be said with great certainty, has a lot to do with the original family. So it is not anyone who has ruined the child, it is likely that it is the child's most trusted and beloved parent.
Known as the "literary Roselle" Xiao Hong in the 1930s, the tragic experience of her short life is also inseparable from the harm to her original family when she was a child.
Xiao Hong, who does not know what his father loves and his mother loves
Xiao Hong is a modern Chinese female writer. In her short creative career, she has written more than 100 poems, essays, novels and plays. Her literary attainments are unquestionable, but her life is also unquestionably tragic. Looking back on her short life, it seems that she has spent her life in flight, hunger, and wandering. Never been in the same place for two years, she has been in a "home" where she can usually live in peace, but she has never been stable.
Some people believe that the factor that led to Xiao Hong's tragic fate is her character, she has always been straight forward, unwilling to give in and unwilling to give in.
Some people also believe that Xiao Hong has put her fate in the hands of men all her life, so she will end up so lonely.
In fact, whether it is a person's personality characteristics or excessive dependence on others, it is inseparable from the influence of the growth environment, especially the parents and family environment.
Xiao Hong is both so.
Xiao Hong was born in 1911 to a landlord family in the Hulan District of Harbin, Heilongjiang Province, from a well-to-do family. His grandfather, Zhang Weizhen, was a well-known local landlord.
Zhang Weizhen was childless in his life, and Zhang Tingju was a successor, so Xiao Hong's birth brought great joy to Zhang Weizhen, who had not seen the birth of a child for a long time. His love for Xiao Hong was so full that Xiao Hong "felt that it was enough to have a grandfather in this world, what else was he afraid of?" ”。
He taught Xiao Hong poetry and etiquette, and also took Xiao Hong to catch cockroaches and catch sparrows, which was a beam of light and the only source of warmth for Xiao Hong's childhood.
Xiao Hong's sensitivity to literature and her love of words are largely inseparable from the teachings of her grandfather when she was a child. In a sense, it was my grandfather who achieved the "literary Roselle" Xiao Hong.
But her feudal parents ruined her in a sense.
Xiao Hong's father, Zhang Tingju, graduated from the Heilongjiang Provincial Excellent Normal School in his early years, served as an official for a long time, and had a strong feudal class ideology. Mother Jiang Yulan, gave birth to a daughter and three sons, although Xiao Hong is the first child, but because she is a girl, her mother will never look at it squarely. The father is even more indifferent to Xiao Hong, often punishing xiao Hong for a small matter, and even when Xiao Hong ran away from home at the age of nineteen and wandered the streets, his father Zhang Tingju would pretend not to know his daughter when he passed by, which showed his indifference to his daughter.
Xiao Hong, who lacks maternal love and fatherly love, has been looking for love all her life, not so much her dependence on men, but rather dependence on love, dependence on the warmth and love of relatives.
Xiao Hong, who is constantly chasing love
After my grandfather died, the only light in the family also disappeared. For Xiao Hong, a home without a grandfather is cold. So she thought of running away from home, of rebelling against the man who had not given the slightest father's love. But she was not yet twenty years old, and she had no skills to make a living, and she had no experience to make a living. So she pinned her hopes on her husband Lu Zheshun. She did not love Lu Zheshun, but had no choice but to surrender.
But soon, Lu Zheshun, who was also supplied by the family, could not afford the cost of the two, and Xiao Hong had to choose the Wang Enjia she hated.
Rather than choose to hate the relief of men, but also to run away from home, you can imagine Xiao Hong's hatred for that home.
And Xiao Hong and Wang Enjia can be intermittent for many years, in addition to the economic embarrassment, more because Xiao Hong understands that Wang Enjia has feelings for Xiao Hong. Wang Enjia did not mind Xiao Hong's escape from marriage, did not mind having "cohabited" with his cousin Lu Zheshun, and despite the strong opposition of his family, he also wanted to be with Xiao Hong, which was enough to show his feelings for Xiao Hong.
Xiao Hong was like a child who was about to drown, clinging to this somewhat warm life-saving straw. Even in the absence of marriage security and no recognition by his family, he was still pregnant with Liujia for Wang Enjia. Unfortunately, the straw is still gone.
Some people say that Wang Enjia betrayed his faith and left Xiao Hong, who was pregnant with Liujia, and ran away. But personally, I don't think this is very likely. If Wang Enjia wanted to leave, he could leave at any time, so why wait until Xiao Hong was pregnant with Liujia and was about to give birth. Moreover, from the various indications of Wang Enjia to Xiao Hong, it can be seen that Wang Enjia is not really just a scum without morality to speak of.
But no matter what the reason, Wang Enjia just disappeared, disappeared without a trace, and never saw it again. We believe that he died in a troubled world than in his back.
After Wang Enjia disappeared in the name of raising money, Xiao Hong, who had a big belly and was desperate, met Xiao Jun, the love of her life.
Xiao Jun spared no expense to save Xiao Hong from danger, they had similar interests and loved literature. Xiao Hong's love for Xiao Jun was sincere and warm.
Xiao Hong followed Xiao Jun, just like following her grandfather, she didn't have to be afraid of anything, she didn't have to worry about anything, just live. She thought that if she was in trouble, as long as Xiao Jun appeared, she would definitely be able to be saved. Even in the last moment of her serious illness, after being separated from Xiao Jun for many years, she still thought that if Xiao Jun was there, she could be saved, and she still wanted to see Xiao Jun.
But Xiao Jun's flower heart was destined to accompany Xiao Hong for a while, but not for a lifetime. After they got married, Xiao Jun frequently cheated. He even flirted with other women in front of Xiao Hong. You can imagine how much Xiao Hong was heartbroken at that time, but she kept insisting. She ran away from Japan, hoping to use parting ways to arouse Xiao Jun's attachment and love for her. But this approach has proven to be effective in the short term, but it does not solve the problem in essence. Eventually she once again parted ways with a big belly and a man.
After Xiao Hong and Xiao Jun broke up, they immediately married their crush on their good friend Duanmu Hongliang and began to drift with Duanmu Hongliang. Gradually, when Duanmu Hongliang began to snub Xiao Hong for various reasons such as work, she developed feelings with Luo Binji, who took care of her day and night and often accompanied her. It was not until 10:00 a.m. on January 22, 1942, that she was only 31 years old and had ended her life.
Looking at Xiao Hong's emotional experience, it seems that one relationship has just ended, and she can't wait to start another relationship immediately, and it seems that the dependence on men has really reached a terrible situation.
If she initially relied on men because of the compulsion of life, then she could later rely on the writing fee to support herself. So her dependence on men is not material, but her thirst for love, a serious lack of security. And this is the result of her lack of parental love in her childhood.
No matter how much a person has achieved, how bright and beautiful he seems to be, how rich his wealth is, as long as his growth as a child is problematic and unsound, then his character is flawed, his mind is incomplete, and these defects cannot be cured for a lifetime!
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