Introduction: Raising children is really not an easy thing, the previous parents have children basically rely on beating and scolding, children when they are disobedient parents pull a beating a scolding, although this way of education is not permitted, but in the environment at that time can only be tacit.
But with the progress of the times, the cultural level of parents continues to improve, now parents educate their children is not like before, some parents are really learning all the time for their children, and strive to keep pace with the times, while some parents are not as good as the parents of the older generation! They treat children like air, and the indifference of emotions and attitudes is really not as good as scolding!
Xiao Zhang and her husband both have very good family conditions, but both have a more grumpy temper, and the personality is strong, after the two have children, I thought that the temperament personality would converge a little, but I never expected that the child not only did not become the fusion agent of the relationship between the two, but became the punching bag of the two people.
The two often put the child aside because of gambling, once the child won the first place in the school exam, I thought that my parents would be very happy after returning home, so I excitedly returned home after school to tell Xiao Zhang and her husband the news. At that time, Xiao Zhang was brushing the TV series, and did not have the heart to listen to his son share this news, after the son finished speaking, Xiao Zhang sent his son away with three words and two words.
The son came to the father, the father was on the phone, the son has not found the opportunity to share with the father, waiting for the son to fall asleep on the sofa. In this way, the good news that the son got the first is that his parents did not know, and the son seemed to have become accustomed to the indifferent attitude of his parents and did not show special sadness.
In fact, in reality, many parents like Xiao Zhang think that they usually do not hit their children and do not scold their children, but they do not care about their children, and things about their children are particularly indifferent, and this indifference of parents is even more harmful to children than scolding.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="29" >01, parental indifference can make children cold-blooded</h1>
Children are born most dependent on their parents, need to get care and love from their parents, in the interaction with their parents, you can get the sense of security you want, this sense of security can support the child to better survive. However, the indifference of parents is equivalent to cutting off the source of emotions, children can not feel the love of their parents, there is no way to get a sense of security, and when they grow up, they will be as cold-blooded and indifferent as their parents.
Parents' emotional indifference will make children suffer, they are always full of enthusiasm for their parents, and also eager for parents to respond to their own emotions, and whenever the child enthusiastically interacts with the parents, parents are always indifferent, the child will feel that they have no sense of value, time will be self-doubting, feel that they are not good enough, so parents will not like themselves, slowly the child's enthusiasm is hit by the blow, followed by negative depression.
The French psychologist Robert Naberg said in "Lack of Love": "Relationships are like an exchange, when I exist in the eyes of others, others also exist in my eyes". The relationship between the two is mutual, as is the relationship between the child and the parent.
Every time the child comes to interact with the parents with enthusiasm, he is always greeted with a cold sentence, which will not be good for who is psychological, let alone a child who urgently needs attention.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="34" >02, what should parents do in the process of educating their children, facing their children's interaction? </h1>
"Water knows the answer" the book once mentioned, often praise a basin of water, water crystals are beautiful, often scold a basin of water, water crystals are irregular, if you put a basin of water there no one cares, the crystals of water is disorganized without a little vitality, a basin of water is still so much more so people.
First: Respond positively
When the child wants to interact with the parents, the parents must first correct their attitude, actively respond to the child, even if they are busy at the moment, but the parents can respond to the child, with a positive attitude to cope, can give the child a hug, tell the child to wait for themselves for a while, wait until they are busy to interact with the child, at least this can give the child psychological comfort.
Second: Listen patiently
When the child actively interacts with the parents, the parents must not give the child a cold ass, the parents should be patient to listen, listen attentively to what the child wants to express, maybe the child wants only the parents to seriously praise the eyes, when the child says maybe the parents do not have to do anything, the child's heart is already very satisfied.
Third: give emotional communication
When the child wants to interact with the parents, the parents must seize the opportunity to make emotional links with the children, because at this time the children need parents, the link at this time the child will accept 80%, the child will feel that they are concerned, and they have a special sense of existence and value here.
epilogue:
In the face of children, it is not the era of hitting and scolding, but this is not the reason for parents to treat their children emotionally indifferently, if parents do not want their children to become an emotionless machine, then give their children a warm response when they need themselves.
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