As a family with children, of course, we want the family to be complete, but when you find that if the other half has someone else outside of marriage, or even when he is thinking about leaving the family, do you want to let the child intervene at this time? What can children do?
Today is to share, three to three do not.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="01" > three things that children can intervene in:</h1>
First, you want to increase the concentration of the parent-child relationship. Let the party who wants to leave spend more time with the child, cultivate the emotional concentration between them, and make him feel more and more reluctant to leave the child.
Second, let the other party have more sense of responsibility. For example, in the tutoring of children's homework, usually one party is more counseling, at this time you have to let the other party join in, the tutoring of children's homework let him do, he will experience the difficulty and difficulty of tutoring children's homework. Or when the child is sick, you let the other party take him to the doctor, run up and down the hospital, including the escort after the illness, which will increase the other party's sense of responsibility for the child.
Third, if the relationship between the two of you is affecting the child, the child has some subtle transformations. For example, children who used to be particularly lively have become particularly quiet and introverted. It turned out that the children who mingled with their classmates in school suddenly became particularly withdrawn, and even had some conflicts with their classmates. In this case, you have to let the other party deal with it and deal with it. Because it was he who caused this result, he was responsible. At this time, he will rise a deep sense of guilt.
These three points are to enhance the concentration of parent-child feelings, enhance the other party's sense of responsibility and guilt, and make it easier to keep him in the family and maintain the integrity of the family. Some people say that this is not using children as chips? However, we hope that a large part of the integrity of the family is for the sake of the children, and the other party also has the responsibility and obligation to maintain the integrity of the family.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="02" > three don't:</h1>
First, don't try not to take the initiative to tell the kids until the two of you have finally decided that we are going to divorce and separate. Because the child is too young, with his experience and cognition may not be able to accept this matter for the time being, and the matter between adults should be resolved through consultation between adults as much as possible.
Second, don't take the initiative to let the child choose. Let's say ask a child, if the two of us are separated, who do you choose to live with? That is too difficult for the child to choose, he may think a lot, think that whether my parents have one party that does not want me, then I will miss each other in the future. Or is it that neither of you wants me anymore and is going to abandon me? These can cause harm to the child's psychology.
Third, don't always blame and denounce some of the other person's faults in front of your children. This kind of accusation and rebuke will make the child's psychology very contradictory, if he really believes what you say, he will establish a hostile emotion with his biological father or mother, which is very detrimental to the child's growth. Even if we think that the worst result is that the two of you are separated, then you will always be the biological parents of the child, and you must also fulfill the responsibility and obligation to protect and love the child.
This is what I am talking about three to do and three no's, and I hope that families who are facing this dilemma can consider it.
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