Author: Ai Shang
The image originates from the internet
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Freedom is really not something you can have if you want to
Some women, not because of the age, and decadent, and decay, in her body, but like being polished by time, revealing the luster of enamel, that kind of beauty, not the freshness after the peach wash, but the elegant intellect emitted from the inside out, in the hands and feet, in the low eyebrows and shallow smiles, a smile slightly vicissitudes, its own style, is exactly the taste that girls do not have.
Liu Mintao is such a woman.
On the stage, a song "Red High Heels", she sang a completely different charm. Wearing a red dress, the expression on her face was ridiculed by netizens: "My sister perfectly interpreted three points of thin coolness, three points of ridicule and four points of carelessness, and even sang in acting." ”
Yes, she is not only a beautiful 40+ woman, but also a recognized old drama bone, at the same time, a divorced woman.
Liu Mintao graduated from the Central Academy of Drama, rich in acting experience, although there is no big hit, acting skills are comparable, has been stable in the second-tier star lineup, after marriage at the right age, he pressed the pause button, became a good wife and mother, seven years of married life, in the eyes of outsiders, happy and happy years quiet.
Until one day, she and her husband were on the way to travel, she wanted to eat a matcha ice cream, but there was no money on her, and her husband turned around and walked away, and did not meet her requirements. Perhaps, such a small detail is not enough to explain anything, but after that incident, she gradually understood that being a woman behind a man is not so simple.
First of all, the husband is busy and doesn't have a few days to be at home. You might say, man, isn't that a matter of course?
Yes, men who have entered marriage, with the time and energy to work hard, can devote themselves to their careers, while women, because they are burdened with families and children, have to give up part of themselves, most of them still have to work hard for life, and the pressure in the workplace is not easier than men.
Marriage to men is addition, with backing and camp, for women, but it becomes subtraction, no time and space.
In an interview, she put it this way:
"Since the conformist and follow-the-flow life did not bring me the happiness I expected.
Then, on the contrary, let me live a humble and pale life in the good years that should be radiant, then I will not be myself, rely on myself, let go of myself, and achieve myself.
Take the risk of living as you please, and test where your limits lie. ”
Later, she experienced divorce, regained her career, and in the play, tried different styles and broke through herself. In this world, being in and out of the besieged city is not important, ability and strength are the confidence for you to advance and retreat.
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Numbness and exhaustion are the undertones of middle-aged people?
After Ying Zi was diagnosed with cancer after being hospitalized, when she got the diagnosis certificate, all thoughts were gray, and her husband was really panicked at first, in front of the relatives and friends who rushed to hear the news, after a short silence, he began to perform hard, while blinking tears, while waving his hands to say that he would also treat her when he lost his family.
In fact, Ying Zi's heart is like a mirror, he cures? What did he give her to cure?
Married for more than ten years, he has never done a few serious things, has been idle, the family eats and drinks all rely on the old, the children's expenses all rely on Ying Zi's salary, these years, she is almost harsh on herself, you may have to ask, then why did she marry him?
Only blame herself for being young and ignorant, knowing very little about people and things, easily being deceived by her husband's sweet words, and entering the marriage in a vacuum, her dictionary, never thought about the word divorce.
Although, she has a good job and has her own circle, in the face of this chicken-like marriage, she has only one thing she can't change, and that is, the child calls his father.
What she lacks is the courage to face the world, in her view, divorce is failure, is mutilated, is unbearable, is the disappointed eyes of her parents, is the criticism behind colleagues, is the stain on experience, is the cowardice of not daring to start again.
People to middle age, only numb and tired, hate for the husband is not steel, Hideko feels no hope, no sense of security brought by money, feelings begin to deteriorate slowly in disappointment, once the heart cools down, both sides have feelings, so the husband's misconduct is more and more obvious, wanton to the point of intolerable.
Later, in the day-to-day tearing, he completely tore off his mask and shamelessly said to Hideko, you are just a cancer patient who is about to die, how many more days do you have to scream? If I can still want you, it's good.
Is a person humble to this extent? From the bottom of her heart, Hideko pitied herself and hated herself, she gritted her teeth, agreed to her husband's shameless request, took a sum of money to him, and bought out the second half of her life.
Divorced Ying Zi, handled a sick retirement, less performance wages, but the income is still enough to support herself, after complete despair, she began to calm down, life is so simple that only her daughter and herself, dancing every day, reading books, in her own small new home, there is an inexplicable peace of mind.
5 years later, she passed the dangerous period, like a new birth, a cancer, saving her from marriage, from this step she bravely took, she felt that every day of the rest of her life was earned, starting from the breakthrough of self, and perhaps there were unknown infinite possibilities.
What can make us rely on and rely on is not only strength, but also cognition. Breaking the cocoon is the instinct of the silkworm pupae, the butterfly is the end of the moth, we only have to learn and grow, open the door of cognition, and step into the realm of ascension.
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Divorce, in fact, middle-aged men are more afraid of divorce than women.
After the divorce, Yu Huanshui, life was completely chaotic, the quality of life was greatly reduced, indulging himself, eating irregularly, body weight increased, and finally was diagnosed with cancer (later found out that it was misdiagnosis), no money for treatment, can only choose to sell organs for money.
The mess is full of confusion because of the loss of the convenience and stability of marriage. The invisible harm of marriage is actually greater than that of men over women, just as the benefits of marriage are also men greater than women.
My original intention is not to persuade the sisters to break through, they are hostile to marriage, but you must have the courage to go in, but also have the courage to come out, a good marriage relationship, is the nourishment of the best love, but the complexity of marriage, you need to have a clear understanding, that is a long-term contract, two families (or families) of the run-in integration, support for the elderly to feed the children, laborious, is a community of interests, but also a bundle of risks.
Before you go in, you'd better have the following three points:
After all, life is not a family, chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, eating and drinking Lasa and pee farts, which is a practical problem, there are seven aunts, eight aunts and nine nephews, Zhou Qing is reasonable, go to the hall into the kitchen, this is only the family level;
In the workplace, you can drink wine, blow cattle, get the leader, swing the customer, swing the subordinates, in short, to feed yourself, only then can you have the courage to buy and buy, you should play;
Even so, you still have to have your own ideas, not to be coaxed by people, not to be tired of the world, respect your original intention, even if the first two you have, without the third, it is very vain, not everyone has the luck of Hideko.
Therefore, not to glorify marriage too much, not to rely entirely on marriage, to maintain our ability, economic, and ideological independence, the more we see the world, the more people we contact, the more space we will have to rise in breadth, depth, and height.
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Let's see the best look of middle-aged women.
More and more excellent sisters, let us see the best appearance of middle-aged women, what divorce is afraid of, what is middle-aged and afraid, as long as you have the ability to survive, it is not a problem.
After Ma Yili divorced, she developed better, and the whole state hung article. Yan Ni and her daughter standing together, is simply a pair of sister flowers, Liu Mintao's song "Red High Heels", is even more amazing to our eyeballs, not marriage is terrible, but without self-confidence is more terrible, balance career and family at the same time, must not give up self-growth and cultivation, believe in yourself, it will be better.
In this era, the concept of patriarchy and husband's power is gone, and what needs to keep pace with the times is that self-right, life is precious, love is more expensive, only freedom and development can make us stand at the head of the tide, become the back wave, and never be photographed on the beach.
As Liu Mintao said in his speech:
"Today, now, I have become my own patron, living a real and elegant life, no longer need to be bound by the eyes of others to bind my own wishes." I finally got the matcha ice cream that I remembered in my heart. Taste it, it's the taste of freedom. ”
You are now the most beautiful person
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