In 2021, my life has entered its 37th year, looking back at my life, in addition to endless bitterness, the rest of the estimation is only the courage to live.
Over the years, I have become more and more confused, and the more I walk, the more directionless, it is really a chicken feather, a mess.
Walking on the road ahead, only you can accompany yourself for the longest time.
I often think that for a local sister paper, this way to get to me, I should not be able to find a second one.
The heartache of the past is a story to tell.
Back when I was 20 years old, I was introduced to my first husband, he was 4 years older than me, because he was introduced by the introducer, I didn't like him at that time, nor did I talk about hate, so my relationship with my first husband was not deep.
Later, when we got married and had children, our feelings slowly warmed up.
However, just a few years after we got married, his ex-girlfriend came to him from the province, and I didn't know they were in contact before, just that he had talked about a girlfriend and spent a long time together, and as for why they were separated, I didn't want to know.
By the time I found out all this, our marriage had lost its salvage value.
I am a very proud woman at heart, and in the face of his divorce request, I did not lower my posture to keep it.
On the issue of children, divorce was brought up by him, so he said to respect my opinion; at that time, I was more or less angry, the children were still young, I couldn't put them down, my friends advised me not to have children, they said: Who wants to marry a divorced woman with children?
Since getting married, I have been pregnant and have children, so I have not had a job, if I go out to find a job later, I must have a low income for myself, and before marriage, he earned money outside to support his family.
Naturally, my parents also knew about the divorce, and during that time, my parents also followed the fire, comforting me while persuading me! Say: You are only 27 years old, you will get married again in the future, will you be single for a lifetime? Without children as a burden, it is certainly much better in future marriage choices.
At first, I hesitated, and my heart was a little shaken, what do I take to raise children?
Just when I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register for divorce and went to his house to collect my things, I looked at the cute little face of the child, which was a piece of meat that fell from my body, and I didn't know the feeling of tearing my heart and lungs for my parents, pulling her from a small doll to today, only I knew how reluctant I was.
Before leaving, the child was small, did not understand the meaning of divorce, only knew that I wanted to go, so I kept crying, I kissed and kissed the child, turned my head, and the tears could not stop flowing.
Life after the divorce is more difficult than I imagined, especially at night when I return to the empty home alone, in the past, the child always pounced on me as soon as she saw me, but now, in the lone light, there is no longer her little cute figure. I don't know if she'll cry when she can't see me, or if she's full or not, or if she's warmly dressed.
On the 5th day of moving away, I couldn't help but want to go back to see her, the thought of the child was so heartbreaking, far more than I expected for the future life, I couldn't care about what life would be like in the future, far from erasing my hard thoughts about the child.
No one dares to say that the person who is lying next to you now can accompany you for the rest of your life, and now I really regret that even if I don't marry for the rest of my life, I will be with my most beloved daughter.