Wen 丨 West Wing has feelings
Time is not long, may you be in my words, see you not too late!
Feelings are a matter of two people, not wishful thinking. Once there is uncertainty in one of them, then the relationship is unlikely to succeed, or even to begin at all.
In "Life Needs to Be Debunked", the author Ding Ding Zhang said: "The anger of love is that it comes when it comes, and then it can be said to go away." ”
So, love isn't as good as people expect in their hearts, and maybe it does make you feel happy and happy, but it can also make you miserable.
The coming and going of love will not greet you in advance, not that you love someone and the other party will definitely love you. Therefore, while the heart belongs, you may still have to face the reality of love and not being able to do so.
If "a lover eventually becomes a family member" is the most beautiful appearance of love, then love cannot be imperfect in love.
The reality is that not all people who love each other can get what they want, let alone those who are in love with each other.
In the world of love, there are always some people who have a person in their hearts, but they cannot blatantly express their love, let alone love passionately.
And when you fall into such a love dilemma, if you do not know how to "save yourself", then you will often fall deeper and deeper, and finally end up with a scaly ending.
I once knew a netizen who loved a girl for seven years and was rejected several times, but he still didn't want to give up. In his own words, he felt that when the girl figured it out, he would have a chance.
But is love really kept? In Xi Mei's view, although such an act is affectionate, it is too silly. When you have someone in your heart who can't love, or who shouldn't love, it's the right thing to choose to let go.
Hard attachment will only make your obsession deeper and deeper, and even lose yourself.
Therefore, whether you are a man or a woman, you must know how to treat feelings rationally, and when you understand that there is a person in your heart but cannot love, you may wish to do this:
Try not to contact again, so as to "disconnect"
When there is a person in your heart but cannot love, you may wish to try not to contact the other party as much as possible and achieve "disconnection".
Although it is difficult for you to stop caring about and inquiring about everything about the other party, only when you force yourself to do this, you may slowly forget him and fade away his position in your heart.
In fact, it is not as difficult to let go of a deeply loved person as you think, and when you have achieved "don't listen, don't ask, don't want to", you are already half successful.
When there is a person in the heart, it is true that you can't help but miss and inquire about the other person, and you are very curious about everything about the other party.
However, if you continue this practice, he will take root in your heart and make you more and more inseparable.
In this case, since you can't love him, then "disconnection" is the best choice. Not breaking the thread is the best thing for you to do with each other, so that you can make it much easier.
Constantly enrich yourself and learn to forget
If you're in love with someone you can't love, you might as well try to forget the other person. The more you think about each other, the stronger the feeling of entanglement and unrelenting struggle will become.
Only when you gradually forget him will you really come out and be truly happy. And the only way to do that is to keep yourself busy, too busy to think about those things.
In short, this is when you have to constantly enrich yourself and divert your attention.
You can focus on your work, or you can learn and develop some new hobbies. You can travel with friends more, or spend more time with your family.
After a while, you will find that in fact, love is not so terrible, and you do not have to be with each other.
The world is like this, in addition to love, your life and life, there are many, many things worth chasing and cherishing.
Recognize and accept new people and try to let go
It's also a good idea to try to meet and accept new people. When you can't be with a loved one, it's wise to stop the loss in time instead of putting out the fire with moths.
You have to understand that fruitless affection is stupid, time is always on, and you have to start over.
You have to learn not only to forget, but also to try to let go. Because, only when you really let go, you will be happy.
At this time, you may wish to meet and contact some new people. Whether it is a friend or a candidate for the other half, you must try to take that step.
When you start a new life, you will slowly let go. Perhaps, you will still have regrets in your heart, but there will be absolutely no attachment.
At the same time, in this process, you may also meet the person who is really suitable for you and has a fate with you.
Conclusion:
When there is a person in your heart but you can't love, if you can't forget it, then you can only bear that feeling of pain and suffering.
Just like Zhou Tingchen in the TV series "Beacon Lady" and Yuwen Hu in "Lonely World", they both belong to the kind of people who don't hit the south wall and don't look back, and they are also in love with people who can't be loved.
If Zhou Tingchen can let go of Tong Yuwan, then he will not lose his life in the end, and he will not be so lonely and painful when he is alive.
Yuwen Hu let Lonely Banruo become his weakness, repeatedly compromised and backed down for her, and put away his ambitions and pursuits.
Yuwen Hu was resolute all her life, fierce in the eyes of outsiders, but left tenderness and tears to her.
"Love is important, but if it is not the desire of two people's hearts, then perseverance becomes meaningless." 」
In the relationship, everyone will miss some people more or less, and when you can't love someone deeply, it's better to choose to let go.
Life will have imperfections and regrets, this is life. So, instead of struggling and clinging, try to accept this imperfection and regret.