Crack the 18 behavioral phenomena in children's growth: tantrums, stubbornness, lying, rebellion, hyperactivity:

Tantrums, naughty and mischievous, hyperactive, clingy, lying... In the process of raising a baby, the child has these symptoms, which will always make the parents anxious to catch fire. Today to share and sort out a very practical baby-raising sutra, the length is relatively long, parents can first collect, in the face of problems to consult the reference.

symptoms

First, big temper

Second, love to beat people

Third, strong competitiveness

Fourth, do not pack up toys

V. Say "harsh words" that do not know the weight

Sixth, naughty and mischievous

Seventh, stubbornness

8. Possessiveness

9. Lying

10. Likes to bite

11. Non-compliance with the rules

12. Like to repeat

Thirteen, hyperactive

Fourteen, sticky

15. Deliberately provoking adults to be angry (rebellion)

16. "People Come crazy"

Seventeen, timid

Eighteen, do not like "hello"

body

Typical performance: a little unpleasant to cry, shout, even throw things, throw and roll, and it is difficult to calm down, sometimes it will last for a long time, it is difficult to dissuade.

Causes: If the cause of the innate neural type can be ruled out, the child's big temper is often accompanied by the development of self-awareness. For children whose language skills are still relatively limited, temper generally arises from having a demand proposition but not knowing how to express it, and when the caregiver cannot meet this need in time or even ignores this need, the small temper is detonated; for those children who already have a certain language expression ability, temper may be caused by negative emotions of panic, loneliness or not being appreciated.

countermeasure:

1, parents should first realize that tantrums are a relatively common psychological phenomenon in the process of children's growth, do not regard children's easy tantrums as the failure of family education, and according to the American parent-child communication expert Patti, tantrums are actually one of the child's psychological rehabilitation mechanisms, with the help of this process, children will vent out a lot of bad emotions, such as frustration and helplessness. So don't easily end the process by coercion.

2, there is no unprovoked temper, when the child loses his temper, parents should also learn to find the reason behind the temper, for example, whether they ignored a child's needs? Does the way you handle conflict yourself creates a sense of unfairness in your child? Is there any learning disability that your child is experiencing? And so on, this kind of questioning is easier to help themselves the right medicine, and the child will learn to put themselves in the shoes of their parents and grow up from their empathetic approach.

3, learn to accept the child's temper is important, but if there is not enough patience to deal with the child's temper, do not hold on, can let other family members help pay attention to the safety of the child in the temper storm, go to another room to calm down, before leaving can explain to the child, such as "the mother feels that her head is about to explode, it seems that the mother needs to calm down" and the like, but do not say something like "crying again does not like you", "cry enough to come to me" and the like, We can let the child see the limits of his patience, but we cannot deny the child's emotions and make the child's pain worse.

Typical performance: In the process of interacting with others, he often likes to use "violence" to solve problems, and even hits people when he goes up for unknown reasons.

Causes: Children have a variety of reasons for hitting people, but there are mainly the following:

(1) Communication skills are not developed, and when problems are encountered, they do not know how to solve problems artistically, so they simply adopt the strategy of hitting people. Especially after repeatedly beating people can achieve the expected effect, it is easier to think that "hitting people" is a powerful weapon for him to influence the world, and naturally he will frequently use its power.

(2) The sense of security is not consolidated, and when encountering an abnormal environment, it is easy to be nervous, and then preemptively attack and protect yourself by hitting people.

(3) Improper parenting. If the caregiver often adopts a violent approach to the educational process, it is a negative effect on the child, first, the child may learn this way of dealing with the problem, and second, the child who is beaten may vent his bad emotions on others.

1. Timely education of communication skills, guide him to achieve his goals through non-violent means, and encourage the correct behavior of children in a timely manner.

2, cultivate children's sense of security, given that this is a big topic, need to write a special article to discuss, not intended to expand here.

3. Take advantage of the psychological characteristics of the child who is good at imitation, tell him some positive stories, and set up an exemplary archetype for him to imitate. At the same time, stop the education method of scolding, it is best to have a control over the baby's circle of communication, and let him interact with some hands-on children less.

4. For children who already have certain language ability, they can induce him to say the reason for hitting people, prescribe the right medicine, deal with them in time, and "kill" them one by one.

Typical performance: see others are better than themselves, everything must be the first, can not achieve the goal of discouragement and even play small character.

Cause: After the child's self-awareness develops to a certain level, he will gradually like to confirm his own ability and value in intentional and unintentional horizontal comparison, which is the source of competitive awareness. Therefore, "competitiveness" should be said to be an instinct for children in this period, and may not have moral significance.

Of course, children like to be strong and competitive, or it may be because parents inadvertently give them such a hint, that is, children are happy when they perform well, they are unhappy when they perform well, and reward them with success or failure, and over time, they let the children form a certain illusion: Mom and Dad only like me to win strongly, and if they lose to others, they may not like me. So there was the act of being competitive in order to please Mom and Dad.

1. Recognize the rationality of competitive behavior at a certain age stage, and give appropriate guidance to the child while accepting it calmly, so that the child's competitive spirit will develop in a healthy direction.

2. When interacting with children in daily life, always check their behavior and reactions, and do not care too much about their wins and losses, otherwise they may "force" a competitive child.

3, if the child has appeared in the habit of being too competitive, the correct approach is not to prohibit the child from competing, but to let the child understand that failure is not useless, for example, the child and others play "wrench strength" failed, you can comfort him like this, "Although your hand strength is not as big as XX, but the jump is higher than him!" "Over time, children will understand that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, it is impossible to do everything better than others, as long as they work hard, regardless of success or failure, they are the child that their parents love the most."

4, in daily life, parents can also intentionally create some educational opportunities, for example, in the game with the child deliberately lost, and then learn the child's appearance angrily strike and say something "lost, not playing, really boring", if the child in turn pleaded to continue to play, then continue to play when winning her, observe her reaction after losing, if she loses as usual unhappy or even strike, guide the child to reflect on what she thought as a winner when she just lost the strike, He also took the opportunity to tell her that victory and defeat are common affairs of soldiers. If the child loses and can continue to work hard, take the opportunity to praise her courage to "lose", and then, the parents deliberately let her win in the next game, further guiding her to experience the truth that "losing is not terrible, as long as you do not give up your efforts, you may succeed". Children can also randomly infiltrate into the corresponding education in the process of peer interaction or reading picture books and watching discs. Over time, the child will gradually understand the most important pleasure of play or interaction itself, rather than the result of who is strong and who is weak.

5, when necessary, parents can even dilute the response to the child's successful performance, strengthen the affirmation of their "affordable" behavior, of course, this should grasp a degree, do not overcorrect, otherwise, the child really has no sense of competition, and it may not be a good thing.

Fourth, do not pack up the toys (poor sense of homecoming)

Typical performance: After the toy is played, it doesn't matter if it is in a mess, or throw it on the spot and do something else.

Cause: Children do not like to pack up toys and related to the poor development of homecoming awareness, and the deeper reason is that they have not developed a good sense of order.

Countermeasures: Behind the habit of returning is a good sense of order, but for children before the age of 3, the development of the sense of order will not be very sufficient, so parents with babies of this age should not expect too much, children after the age of 3, with the strengthening of order sensitivity, it is possible to take pleasure in homecoming. However, children will not naturally develop a sense of homecoming, and parents need to do the following guidance:

1, pay attention to words and deeds, develop the habit of timely return of used things, and strengthen the truth of doing so in time through language, one can arouse the child's sense of order, and the other is the best demonstration for children, because children are "masters of stealing".

2. Show children more picture books or discs with relevant plots to guide children to learn from the little protagonist in the story.

3, if no matter what the adult wants to do the child does not cooperate with the homecoming, you can introduce compulsory measures, such as when the child plays with the favorite toy, do not return to the toy in time to "confiscate", let them experience the negative results brought about by the timely return, and the homeowning rules formulated for the child must be implemented to the end, once destroyed, decisively give the child "punishment", do not make an exception, do not let the child take chances. In addition, too many toys at home sometimes let the child throw it away, you can put away the toys that the child does not use, just leave a few commonly used outside, so that the child knows to cherish.

Typical performance: Like to say something very powerful and ugly, such as, "I'm going to kick you down the stairs", "You're such a big idiot", "I'm going to strangle you" and so on.

Cause: To apply the theory of the sensitive period, this kind of "harsh words" is what Teacher Sun Ruixue calls "curse language", which generally occurs at a certain stage of the language sensitivity period, and because the child experiences the power of language when she says the original intention of saying such words, the more adults pay attention to her expression, the more violent the reaction, and the more vigorously she uses it.

Of course, harsh words may also be imitated. If this kind of language often appears in the child's growing environment, the child who is good at imitation may "steal" it.

Countermeasures:

1, when the child says harsh words, parents may wish to treat it coldly, as if they did not hear, when they found that this language actually did not produce any power, there is no motivation to continue.

2. Provide a healthy language environment for children, so that children cannot imitate.

Typical performance: likes to trick and play tricks, and takes pleasure in successfully attracting the attention of others.

Causes: Children like to be mischievous and mischievous may have the following reasons:

(1) Experience your own power. With the development of self-awareness, the child gradually realizes that she is related to others, and her words and deeds may cause different emotional reactions of others, in this process, she experiences her own strength, and then likes to influence the emotions of others through trickery.

(2) Self-venting. After the child's big action skills have been developed to a certain extent, they like to explore everywhere, and their awareness of communication is gradually strengthening, but due to the limitations of activities and communication space, these wishes are usually difficult to be satisfied, and before the exuberant energy has not yet had a more rational cathartic channel, making trouble and making ghosts has of course become a choice.

(3) Attract the attention of adults. Sometimes children are naughty because their emotional needs are not met, and they want to attract the attention of adults and then get love.

1. Recognize that naughtiness is a normal behavior of this age group, and do not label children with labels such as "ADHD" and "skin to die", so as not to let children receive negative psychological hints.

2, patiently analyze the reasons behind the child's naughtiness, the right medicine, for example, if it is because of the lack of emotional needs, give more care, if it is because of the exuberant energy has nowhere to vent, take the child out for a walk, find a playmate for the child, let the child release their energy more appropriately.

3, when children through naughtiness to test our behavior response, we must also show their attitude in time, take the opportunity to help them adjust the bottom line of behavior. For example, when the child plays with the plug, we must properly stop it, calmly hold the child away, tell them that the plug is used for electricity, not for play, and for safer protection.

4, naughty sometimes also provides opportunities for close parent-child relationship, so sometimes we may as well put down the adult posture and make a mess with the naughty child, then parent-child love is likely to be promoted in this kind of fight without "age limit".

5, when the child shows a certain creativity in the naughty, we can also take advantage of the situation, the child's naughty energy to a more rational track, for example, when the child throws the rag doll everywhere, we may wish to crouch down and pick up the rag doll, gently coax her to sleep, perhaps, the infected child will also run over and play the game of "passing the family" with us.

Typical performance: like to act according to their own wishes, although sometimes this will seems to be "unreasonable" nonsense, but once rejected, it will be irritable, struggle to resist, cry and make a fuss, and it is difficult to calm down. In general, children's stubborn sensitivity is most likely to appear at the age of 3-4 years.

genesis:

1, the sense of order is strange. The child likes to respect established habits or procedures and expects the world to behave according to this sense of order, and once order is challenged, he will fight to maintain this order. For example, there is a case in "Catching a Child's Sensitive Period" in which a little boy likes to sleep in a coat, and even when his aunt needs to change his underwear, he thinks that he can't take off his coat, but he must take off his coat when he still has his underwear, and he cries and makes a lot of noise.......

2. Children after the age of two, with the expansion of their life scope and the improvement of their ability to explore, they find that they can control more and more things, and thus they also like to challenge adults and experience their own strength from it. So we often say that children at this age have entered the "first period of psychological resistance".

1. Recognize that stubbornness is a stage in which children are insurmountable or even not transferred by their will in the process of growing up, and be mentally prepared to patiently accompany children through this period, but limit their naughty behavior too much, because we lack patience for simple handling, which may not be conducive to children smoothly walking out of this sensitive period, and have a negative impact on their future psychological development. In this regard, it is very important that both husband and wife have a unified understanding of the child, otherwise, there will be a way of dealing with the contrast between the two people when the child is in trouble, so it is easy for the child to "exploit the loophole".

2, try to meet those reasonable or non-principled needs. For those principled requirements, if we cannot meet them, we must also understand the child, do a good job of comforting, and calm the child's pain by hugging, reasoning, diverting attention, and finding alternative goals.

3, more consideration of the child's order requirements, try to obey their requirements, in the case of inaccurate, you can also ask for their opinions, so as not to accidentally provoke the little guy.

Typical performance: their own things do not let others move, others will shout loudly "this is mine!" "Don't let my brother sit on my little stool" and the like, and when he sees other people's good things, he wants to take them for himself.

Causes: Generally speaking, this kind of behavior appears after the child is about two years old, because at this time, the child gradually appears with the development of self-awareness, and tries to maintain this ownership, and sometimes this ownership consciousness comes back quite extensively, even if those who originally did not belong to him, but look good or just the good things he found first, will also claim their own ownership, so this and that seems to be a little "selfish" and "overbearing" in adults. Exclusive behavior. But this behavior is only staged, and as children develop a sense of sharing, this phenomenon of exclusivity will slow down.

1, realize that this behavior is only a stage, is a normal performance of the child's self-awareness development process, no moral sense of motivation, understand and tolerate their behavior, do not give them "selfish", "stingy" and other hats.

2, respect the child's sense of ownership, you can tell the child the truth of sharing, but do not force the child to share, otherwise the child is used to being deprived when he has just learned to assert his rights and interests, and it is easy to develop a dependent personality after adulthood.

Typical performance: like to say something that does not conform to reality, and sometimes a face of innocence.

Causes: Lying is a common behavior in early childhood, and the main causes are as follows:

1. After the child's imagination has developed to a certain extent, sometimes it is difficult to distinguish between imagination and reality, so it is easy to express the imagined things as reality, resulting in lying behavior.

2, if parents everywhere with the standard of "good children" to ask children, children under this pressure, may think: only if I am a good child, mom and dad will like me, if I admit to something "not good", such as dirty floor, they will not like me. Similarly, she would think that if I stated that I had done something "good," such as sharing. Mom and Dad will be happier, and in this case the child is also prone to lying.

3, sometimes lying is still an excuse for children to escape from a "hard job", for example, when children are not willing to go to kindergarten, they may claim that they have other things to do, trying to "escape the disaster".

Countermeasures: According to the reasons behind the child's lies:

1, if the child is lying because of the confusion between imagination and reality, we may wish to think a little more, see what the real needs or worries behind the child are, and then on the basis of finding this root, empathize with the child, guide the child to tell the true intention behind the lie, and meet their needs or solve their worries as much as possible.

2, if the child is forced by the pressure of the "good baby" and lies, we must check whether their expectations are too high, and then re-set their expectation standards on this basis, so that the child has the opportunity to show themselves according to the normal rhythm of psychological development.

3, if the child really wants to escape from a thing that does not want to do and lie, we may wish to see if the child must do this, if it can be done or not, it may as well let the child go, if it must be done, then give the child a reason, support the child to face their own responsibilities or obligations...

Typical manifestations: like to bite, sometimes even without warning suddenly dropped.

Causes and countermeasures: The causes of children's bites are various, and the countermeasures should also be different, so the following is introduced in different situations:

1. Teething

Reason: Babies in the teething period often have itchy teeth due to irritation of the gums when they erupt, and the child's 20 deciduous teeth are generally in line with 2-2.5 years old, so if the child within 2.5 years old has a biting phenomenon, parents should give priority to whether to grow teeth.

Countermeasures: Provide your child with some slightly harder food for them to chew, so as to relieve the discomfort of the teething period and reduce the child's urge to bite.

2. The oral sensitivity period is not fully developed

Reason: Children often experience a period of oral sensitivity before the age of one, like to put the things in their hands into the mouth for exploration behavior, but some adults are afraid of such unhygienic, seeing children bite things with their mouths will stop, so that the child's oral exploration desire has not been fully developed, there is a lag or compensation phenomenon, one of its manifestations is to like to bite people.

Countermeasures: provide the child with clean things with different textures, hardness, taste, and shape for him to bite and taste to compensate for the child's missed opportunities to explore, but sometimes, the child feels that things outside the skin "do not quench thirst", if so, we may as well sacrifice it, take the washed arm and other parts of the pain that are not obvious to let her bite a few times, do not worry about the child's addiction, as Teacher Sun Ruixue said: "Biting the skin seems to be able to quickly meet this sensitive period, and let the child pass quickly." Then, children will have a high degree of tranquility and the need for intelligence in the next step. ”

3. Use biting to express love

Reason: Children after the age of two, although the awareness of communication has been greatly improved, but the communication skills have not developed accordingly, so that the bite as a way to express love, especially for those who are often kissed by their parents, this way is easier to use, because the little guy feels good when kissed by his parents, so he imitates to kiss others, but because he does not know how to grasp the degree of "kissing", the teeth are also used.

Countermeasures: In this case, on the one hand, we must believe that with the development of children's communication skills, the behavior of using biting to express love will gradually disappear, on the other hand, it is also advisable to let children give up or forget this expression through positive guidance or avoid demonstrations that may have negative effects, for example, when with children, try not to use kisses to express love, so as not to make inappropriate imitations of children, and guide the way children express love.

4. Curiosity is strange

Reason: Two-year-old children are particularly curious, even the expressions of others can enter their list of inquiry, if one day the little guy inadvertently bites others for other reasons, and happens to find that the bitten person's stress response is very funny, it is likely to fall in love with this feeling of trick-or-treating, in order to observe the ever-changing expression.

Countermeasure: Since the child bites because of curiosity, it is best to take new and strange things to divert her attention, and if it does not work, simply tell the child solemnly, "People are used to love, not to bite!" And decisively stop with action, it is likely that at first the child will not listen to advice, and even cry and insist, but after repeating it several times, the child will accept the "inquiry result" of "people are not used to bite".

5. Boredom or venting emotions

Reason: Like adults, children have times when they are bored or depressed, and because young people have not yet mastered the channels of rational catharsis, biting sometimes becomes a way to vent.

Countermeasures: give the child full care, timely meet the child's reasonable needs can minimize the child's negative emotions and reduce the chance of biting, of course, if the child still has the opportunity to bite because of emotions, in the case of the above diversion of attention, persuasion and other treatment methods are ineffective, patiently listen to the child crying!

Typical performance: do not do things according to common sense, go their own way, no sense of rules. It generally occurs in young children, especially 1-2 years old who have not attended kindergarten.

Causes: Because young children are still in the self-centered stage, even if they play with their friends, they are not interested in the small partners themselves, but their common toys or activities, so it is easy to have a "solo play" situation without anyone around, and will not follow any rules.

1, for children under 2 years old, do not force children to abide by certain rules, because for children in this period, play is only an instinctive catharsis that brings a happy experience, if it is interfered with and restricted too early, it is not conducive to their psychological development.

2, the sense of rules can be gradually formed in the peer cooperation game, for this parents can provide children with more opportunities for peer interaction, so that children in the interaction to recognize the good results of abiding by the rules, enhance the corresponding pleasant emotional experience, and timely language reinforcement, in order to help children establish a positive attitude to the rules.

3, because children in this age are still more likely to rebel, the preaching of the Eight Classics of Zheng'er may not achieve good results, appropriate use of picture books or other image education methods, and pay attention to the principle of maintaining randomness and timeliness may be easier for children to accept!

Typical performance: like to do the same thing repeatedly, for example, a book read more than a dozen times, a song listened to more than a dozen times and still enjoy it, and once she is asked to change it, she is not happy.

Cause: Children like to repeat, mainly related to their learning style and psychological development characteristics.

On the one hand, young children, due to the relatively limited memory and comprehension, a novel concept, phrase, melody or thing often needs to be repeated many times, in order to incorporate them into long-term memory in continuous reinforcement, becoming a surface, language and other creative materials that can be extracted at any time.

On the other hand, in the presence of "almighty" parents, young children often feel inferior because they have difficulty controlling their behavior or the material world outside of them. "Repetition", on the other hand, makes the child feel empowered and independent, because if the child can "repeat" an activity, it is often because she can autonomously control that behavior (skillfully filling the bottle and pouring beans), have the freedom of choice (for example, instruct the mother to play a song for her) or experience a familiar scene (such as reviewing the same bedtime story), in this process, the child is usually able to control the situation and gain a sense of strength, which in turn produces a sense of psychological security.

Countermeasures: Since "repetition" is the basis of children's learning style and psychological energy, we may wish to have more patience and share the joy of their growth in the process of "repeating" things with children, which is both respect for their learning style and affirmation of their freedom of choice!

Typical performance: like to climb up and down, throw around, drill in and out, touch the east and west, as if there is no time to stop.

Causes: There is a "spontaneous use principle" in developmental psychology, that is, after certain body functions within the organism are formed and developed to a certain level, infants and young children will spontaneously make full use of them. Therefore, as children's large and small motor skills develop, children may become very "hyperactive" in the process of spontaneously applying these skills.

1, eliminate the unreasonable "good baby" complex, realize that a physically and mentally healthy, energetic two-year-old child, itself is lively and active, only those who suffer from malnutrition or other diseases of the child is lazy to talk less.

2, go with the flow, to create a safe and relaxed activity environment for children, a more active approach is to timely safety education for children, so that children learn to protect themselves.

3, do not give the child a "hyperactivity" hat, otherwise, the child will feel more and more active, the heavy will be subject to negative psychological cues and will see themselves as different from ordinary people, which is extremely unfavorable to the child's psychological development and behavior orientation.

4. If you really can't stand the child's aimless chaos, you can also guide the child to release the exuberant energy reasonably, for example, use more meaningful activities to divert their attention, take the child into the novel space such as nature, and expand their horizons while satisfying the child's desire to explore.

Typical performance: I don't want to leave my mother for a moment, my mother doesn't want to be hugged by others when she is present, and my mother cries and makes a lot of noise when she leaves.

Causes: The main reasons for clinginess are as follows:

(1) The mother spends too little time with the child, and the child's emotional needs for the mother are not met;

(2) You have not yet established a secure attachment relationship with your mother, and you feel uneasy leaving your mother.

(3) The impact of emergencies makes the child's order feel the impact, resulting in an insecurity of "not being able to control the situation".

1, realize that "clinging" is not a bad habit, but a manifestation of the child's mental maturity, in the words of family education expert Xiao Wu, which shows that the child's judgment and ability to choose have been further developed, he can judge the difference between doing things alone and with his mother, and also has the ability to make choices that make him happier - with his mother.

2, when the child is clingy, do not force it away, thinking that it can cultivate independence, this idea can only be said to be a wish. Only when there is enough emotional satisfaction from the mother will the child develop a secure attachment relationship.

3, give yourself to the child to "stick" does not mean that you can give up the guidance of him, while letting go of the child, you may wish to strengthen the cultivation of his independence, such as consciously accompanying the child to do some games or simple housework, and from time to time praise the child's ability in this process, so that he can realize his own strength, thereby enhancing his confidence in "controlling" the order of life. For example, in daily life, do not be stingy to express your love, sometimes some seemingly powerless words, such as "you are the mother's favorite", "no matter what happens, the mother loves you", etc., are very precious commitments for children, and are an important basis for his confirmation of our love. On the contrary, do not say to your child at any time, "The big bad wolf is coming", "The police uncle has come to arrest you", "If you do this again, your mother will not want you", otherwise the child's sense of security will be hurt!

Typical performance: the child becomes less "obedient", takes pleasure in rebelling against the will of the adult, mishandles it, and he will break out into serious stubbornness, sometimes making people feel helpless... In general, this situation is easy to happen to two- and three-year-old children.

Cause: With the development of self-awareness, children will have more and more their own opinions, but adults will often impose such and such restrictions on children due to the limitations of social norms, and young children do not know how to bend and turn, so they often openly resist, so that there is a suspicion of "deliberate opposition".

1. Recognize that "rebellion" is a stage that every normal child will inevitably go through, debug their mentality, and adapt to the performance of the child's special stage.

2. Pay attention to persuasion strategies for specific events, and use "you have to obey" to discipline children. Because for children in the rebellious period, such preaching may have two negative consequences: first, make them more rebellious and deliberately do not listen to adults; second, if children are often forced by the authority of adults to become "obedient", then their self-expression propositions are easily suppressed, and even form a "servile personality".

3. "Want to get away with it" + "Gentleman's Agreement" to make children consciously obey. For example, my daughter Tong Tong does not like to sleep, sometimes at 9 o'clock at night still in bed with us to make trouble or read, if you force her to sleep, it is certainly difficult to achieve the purpose, at this time, we will take a step back, discuss a "gentleman's agreement" with her, allow her to play or read a book for a while, such as 5-15 minutes, but after playing or reading to sleep, often can achieve the purpose of letting her sleep.

4, the use of the child's rebellious psychology to say the opposite, the sound of the east and the west, for example, Tong Tong is sometimes picky eaters, it is difficult to persuade her to eat something, in this case, sometimes I will prepare this food, first take it to Tong Tong Dad, and when Tong Tong Dad eats with relish, I will deliberately say: "Don't let Tong Tong see, she can't eat this", the little guy heard that he could not eat, he came up, he had to rush to eat with us, often what she did not want to eat was eaten in such a scramble.

5, to deal with the rebellious period of children, although to be tolerant, respectful and artistic treatment, but there is a situation that also requires parents to adhere to the bottom line, that is, when the child's "rebellion" will bring life danger, health risks or hinder others, for example, do not let him move the socket, he wants to move, let her wear clothes on a cold day, she does not wear, do not let him hit the child, he wants to fight. Moreover, at this time, it is often stopped by parents who cannot "roundabout", and the current strong blocking has become an indispensable countermeasure, but it is best to explain the truth to the child afterwards. Children also need such norms to understand the limits of behavior, which contributes to their normal socialization.

Typical performance: As soon as the guests come to the house, they begin to be in the limelight, jump up and down, overactive, and even disturb the conversation between adults and guests, bringing embarrassment to parents. It usually occurs in children aged 3-7 years.

Causes: There may be several reasons for "people going crazy":

(1) Eager to get attention. Ordinary parents do not pay enough attention to their children, resulting in children having to find ways to attract the attention of parents;

(2) Emptiness and boredom. Parents are busy entertaining guests, making children look for opportunities because of loneliness.

(3) Parents usually manage their children too strictly, the children's emotions are suppressed, and the arrival of guests allows them to find opportunities to vent;

(4) The desire for self-expression. When children have the ability, they will have the desire for self-expression, and the presence of guests provides them with a stage.

1. In order to avoid children being ignored and disturbed, parents can appropriately let children participate in hospitality activities, such as solemnly introducing their children to guests, letting children help parents set up tables, chairs, dishes, chopsticks, giving guests a fruit, giving children the freedom to interject appropriately, etc.

2, respect the characteristics of children's love performance, because of the snobbery, give children the opportunity to show their skills in front of the guests, such as memorizing a Tang poem, dancing a dance, etc., in general, after the performance, guests will always give the child a certain praise, the child's "good psychology" will also be strengthened, if at this time the parents will then be polite to the child and other praise and psychological hints, then the child is generally embarrassed to mess up again.

3, the immediate child's noisy affects the communication between the host and the guest, it is best not to punish and admonish the child in person, so as to avoid the child from "breaking the jar and breaking the broken" crying and making a fuss due to self-esteem injury, and it is more advisable to use more moderate methods such as diverting attention. For example, give your child a toy she's never played with; take the opportunity to let your child build a building block for guests to see, and so on.

4, for those people to go crazy more obvious tendency of children, parents in addition to the usual polite hospitality rules education, you can also give her a preventive injection before coming, such as clearly telling the child if the guest comes to make a good baby to buy her the desired toys and so on.

Typical performance: extremely sensitive to external stimuli, afraid of this and that; afraid to let go of themselves in public.

Causes: There are several main reasons for children's timidity:

(1) Parents usually take care of their children too tightly, and often remind children that it is dangerous here and there, causing children to feel that the surrounding is full of "danger";

(2) Parents like to educate their children in a frightening way, making children feel insecure;

(3) The child has had the experience of being frightened;

(4) Children are born with a depressive temperament type, which is more likely to be shy.

Countermeasures: In the process of helping children overcome their timid personality, they can be treated for different situations:

1. When raising children, let go moderately, not too much protection of children, but provide them with relatively safe activity space, avoid often reminding children of such and such dangers or letting children encounter such and such dangers.

2. Avoid educating children in a frightening way so as not to erode the child's sense of security.

3, if the child is accidentally frightened, pay attention to help the child "desensitize", for example, if the child accidentally fell down the slide, find a way to let the child experience as long as the protection is appropriate, in fact, the slide is not so easy to accident.

4, if the child is born "timid", the child should be more tolerant of the child's behavior, not eager to change the child, so as not to give the child more pressure.

It should be noted that at any time, do not say something to the child's face, such as "Why are you so timid" and "our children are too timid", so as not to let the child be negative psychological cues.

Typical performance: When encountering relatives and neighbors, when parents let their children say hello, the child does not cooperate, and even teases her.

Causes: If the child does not like to greet others because of poor mood, rebellion, dislike of the person, etc., the child may not like to greet others, there may be the following possibilities:

(1) The child is introverted and shy to call people;

(2) The child's usual circle of life is relatively closed, rarely interacts with others, and is easy to be nervous when encountering strangers;

(3) Parents ignore polite education in advance, meet acquaintances and pull the baby "hastily", the baby does not know the reason why they should say hello when they meet acquaintances, and choose instinctive rejection.

1, if the child refuses to call people is the character of the reason, parents do not force, each child has its own unique way of expression, as long as the child in his usual friendly way to react, parents do not have to mind, personality is not a day can change, we should give the child time.

2. Usually provide children with more opportunities to communicate, and eliminate the nervous psychology of seeing strangers;

3, parents usually pay attention to words and deeds, although the baby in the early stage of school is still difficult to understand the truth, the ability to distinguish between right and wrong is poor, but their plasticity and imitation ability is particularly strong, and it is easy to develop certain behavioral habits under the influence of parents, based on their age characteristics, parents can do a good job of polite words and deeds in daily life, over time, children will "steal" to go.

4, when the child refuses to call people, do not criticize the child in public, so it is easy for the child to associate the greeting with the unpleasant emotional experience, and then produce a negative attitude towards this polite word and deed, and it is easier to reverse this situation in the future! A better approach is to turn embarrassment into an educational opportunity. For example, when a child refuses to greet an aunt, parents can first "greet" the aunt for the child in the face of an aunt waiting for a response. Generally speaking, hearing parents say "aunt is good" for the child, the aunt in turn greets the child back, in this interactive process, the child greeted by the aunt can not only get a pleasant emotional experience, but also learn from the parents how to greet others, and even "reflect" on their own shortcomings, parents can also carry out corresponding polite education for the child in time after the fact. I believe that after several such repetitions, when the child sees strangers again, the previous state of difficulty in opening the golden mouth will definitely change.