Introduction: Adolescence is a key stage in life, the correct guidance of children to benefit a lifetime, otherwise perhaps the fate will be completely different. Parents are most afraid of facing adolescent rebellion, why rebellion, because the child is not the child who obeys his parents in the past, in his heart is already an independent individual, has the right to say "no".
When it comes to their child and say "no", most parents think that the authority of the parent is being challenged, is it obedient to the child or also rejects him? The child continues to grow, and the educational methods used by parents should also be constantly changing to adapt to and keep up with his growth rhythm, otherwise there will be incongruity.
CCTV has a documentary about the adolescent film called "Mirror", a 16-year-old boy named Jiaming rebelled the most seriously, tired of school and even had the idea of dropping out of school, immersed in the Internet, wanted to backpack alone to break into the world, and his parents were incompatible. From the perspective of Jiaming's parents, he is worried that he will take a detour, so the child's requests such as "choosing shoes, clothes, and raising favorite pets are considered by parents to be improper requests and directly rejected."
In the interview, Jiaming spoke from his heart, and when communicating, his parents did not give him the opportunity to speak, often interrupted, and everything had to be arranged. In the eyes of his parents, he felt that he could do nothing, so he wanted to prove himself in a rebellious way. This should be a common manifestation of the relationship between rebellious children and their parents, from jiaming's heartfelt words, it is not difficult to know that as long as parents can understand and recognize themselves, they can be less rebellious.
Fan Deng said in a lecture that there is a secret to successfully passing through puberty, and parents should prevent rebellion in advance. Whether prevention is in place depends entirely on the parents and the family environment. 10 things to know about adolescence and prevent rebellion in advance:
1. Understand the child with your heart
Alan Delamanter from the University of Miami proposes to develop a sense of purpose in a child and make him understand what is most important to him. Parents should respect what the child is interested in, can participate but cannot intervene, and get along with the child and listen attentively instead of preaching and nagging.
2. Let the child be his own master
Parents are worried about their children's detours, hope that their children will become talents, and want them to grow up according to their own designed routes and complete the goals they have set, which will cause children to rebel. On the road of life, he always has to face it alone, let him be his own master, set his own goals, and his parents support him as the basis for preventing rebellion.
3. Establish third-party guidance
Parents are the guides on the child's growth path, but not necessarily the only guidance resource, to give the child a suitable leader can be an elder or a wise person, when he encounters confusion is not willing to talk to the parents can also get help from a third party.
4, to deal with rebellion is not as good as to prevent in advance
From about the age of 11 into puberty poor guidance may begin to have signs of rebellion, until the age of 18, if the child rebel can imagine how difficult it is to survive 7 years of time, and so after the discovery of the response is not as good as early prevention, parents can calmly spend puberty.
Fan Deng said that to prevent rebellion, we must care more about children and communicate more, respect children's right to know, do more self-reflection, and observe whether children's rebellious behavior comes from imitating parents.
Make clear boundaries and don't say no to your child forever, so it is easy to make him violent, and if you refuse, you should be honest about the reason. Parents learn to compromise appropriately, if parents never compromise the child must not give in, clearly tell him the right and range of choices, if the child has different opinions to listen.
5, do not play at will
It is normal to make mistakes, and it is also an opportunity to educate him, first of all, let him understand why he should do what he is wrong, but also do a good job of psychological reassurance, do not blame and can not fight at will. When children make corrections in time, they should put forward encouragement and praise, and establish correct three views.
6, even friends are strict parents
Give your child enough respect and democracy to be friends, but the premise is to be a strict parent first, and it is the responsibility to give the child positive guidance and correct deviations.
7. Inclusion
When children do not meet expectations and make mistakes, they must be tolerant, as long as they are corrected in time, they are growing. Parents should tell him the possible consequences of making mistakes, and the child must be able to understand them and will not make them again in the future. If the requirements are too harsh, if you make mistakes, you will blame criticism, the child will be depressed in his heart, and rebellion is normal.
8. Manage emotions well
Children can not grasp their emotions very well, sometimes do things impulsively, emotionally, parents should remain calm, if tit-for-tat is easy to go to extremes.
9. Be the protector of your child
In adolescence, children are easily affected by friends around them, making good friends is conducive to growth, and parents should help in making friends.
Because the inexperienced child encounters problems that are not able to be solved, parents should help in time, do a good job of safety backing, and be his protector.
10. Ensure adequate sleep every day
Adolescents have a large amount of activity during the day, and learning tasks are also very heavy, and adequate sleep can adjust mood in addition to relieving fatigue. Sleep is guaranteed to be 8 hours a day, which makes you more energetic to study and makes your mood more stable.
Each family environment is different, the educational methods and the mode of getting along between members are different, and the children's personality and inner qualities are also different. No matter what kind of family or what kind of personality children are faced, there are similarities in adolescence, and children at this stage are eager to be respected and recognized, and they need more spiritual love.
epilogue:
They have the desire to try anything, because of mental immaturity, it is inevitable to take detours, parents should give their children the right to be independent, the opportunity to try, but also to be a guide on the road to growth, to get along as equals rather than to stand in the position of the parents and dictatorial orders, that can only push him in a more rebellious direction.
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