Two days ago, Zhao Liying ushered in her 34th birthday.
A group of her birthday photos were exposed online, still sweet and cute, full of vitality.
Many people say that Zhao Liying's state is getting better and better after her divorce.
In fact, only you know the warmth and cold.
Zhao Liying, who seems to be free, also has a lot of unspeakable.
When Zhao Liying returned to "Chinese Restaurant 5", Serenity said that she did not expect her to return.
Zhao Liying said lightly:
"I'm here to heal the wounds in my heart."
Subsequently, the two also talked about the custody of the child.
Tranquility, who has always been straight-talking, asked:
"Why don't you bring your own kids?"
Zhao Liying replied:
"His financial conditions are better than mine."
Just 9 words made the people present feel sad.
Some media also said that it was Feng Shaofeng's mother who fought for the custody of her child.
As for whether it is economic considerations or other hidden feelings, it has become a fact that the child followed Feng Shaofeng.
Previously, the media filmed that Zhao Liying flew to Shanghai to visit her son in addition to filming.
Some time ago, she even took her 2-year-old son to the crew.
As a single mother, the career does not dare to stop, and the companionship of the child does not want to be absent.
Every second of time we spend together, I want to cherish.
The hardships and struggles in it can only be experienced.
Star mothers with sufficient financial strength are still like this, and ordinary mothers face more difficulties in divorce.
Especially about the affiliation of the child.
Divorce "don't" kids
Is it a selfish mom?
There is a question online:
"What do women who choose not to have children after divorce think?"
The comments section at the bottom is full of criticism and accusations.
Some people say that it is understandable, but it cannot be forgiven.
Others say that biological children can be abandoned, cruel and selfish.
The underlying meaning is: not worthy of being a mother.
Image source: Panorama view
In fact, no mother wants to give up on her child, and no one loves her child more than a mother.
Every mother who chooses not to have children in divorce is a decision made with heartache like a knife.
I have a cousin who was introduced by the elders of the family to know her ex-husband and became pregnant before marriage.
No wedding, no bride price, not happy after marriage.
Her husband was inconsiderate of her and ignored the affairs of the family. The mother-in-law also looked down on her and thought she was a cheap daughter-in-law who was upside down.
For the sake of the child, the cousin swallowed all the grievances silently into her stomach.
One day, she found out that her husband had cheated on her.
At first, my cousin wanted to make it up, but then my husband often didn't go home at night.
Unable to bear it, the cousin chose to divorce and voluntarily gave up the custody of the child.
It's not that she doesn't love children, but she has more than enough heart and insufficient strength.
After getting married, my cousin stayed at home full-time and didn't have any source of income.
After graduating from junior high school, her job can only go to the factory assembly line.
In her own right, it is difficult to even get her child to a better school.
Their parents are not in good health and cannot help with their children.
The economy can't support children's lives, and there are no helpers, and the reality is full of cruelty.
The ex-husband's family has a fair economic strength, the old man also loves his grandson, and the child has at least a home.
Giving up custody is just the best option at the moment.
And the liver and intestines at the time of parting, tearing the heart and lungs, are all the torments of midnight dreams.
Letting go is the love and fulfillment of a mother's ability to be within her child's reach.
Giving up custody does not mean giving up the love of a child.
Not unwanted
It's not
It is already lucky to be able to get together and disperse when divorced.
Other mothers face all kinds of tears from their children's belonging.
A few days ago, a pregnant woman named Fan Caiyun tweeted that her child had been "stolen" away.
It was her husband who took the child.
After giving birth, she had a fight with her husband.
Unexpectedly, in the afternoon, her husband took advantage of her lack of attention, took away the child, and sent WeChat threats:
"If you don't pay back the bride price, you don't want to see your son."
The implication is that there is a bride price, children, and divorce.
At present, with the intervention of the Women's Federation, the child has returned to his mother's side.
But in real life, there are many mothers who can't meet their children, and they collectively refer to them as —
Purple Ribbon Mom.
Their children were snatched and hidden by their biological fathers, and they endured the pain of separation from their children.
Some fight for custody, but the husband refuses to enforce it and snatches the child away.
Some have no custody and are deprived of visitation rights by their husbands and in-laws.
The children were not missing, they were not abducted, but they just couldn't see them.
On the Internet, they huddled together to keep warm, and everyone's story was sad.
Some people can only hide in the grass of the kindergarten to sneak in order to see the children;
Some go to the ex-husband's residence to stay, just to look at the child from a distance;
Some mothers kneel in front of the man's house in order to feed their children a mouthful of milk;
……
This forced separation, some even as long as 10 years.
When the child is not around, he relies on the imprint left by the child to send his thoughts.
A mother in Tianjin has not seen her child for 4 years.
At home, it is all the shadow of the daughter.
Baby products were neatly arranged in the cupboard, and she cried every time she was seen.
Walking on the road, hearing someone else's child shouting "Mommy", she always couldn't help but look back.
As soon as she turned around, none of them looked like her own daughter, but none of them were her.
In the vast world, there is no trace of children.
This is an indelible pain for every mother.
These mothers' long journeys to find their children and protracted tug-of-war continue.
It is difficult to find children, it is difficult to see children, and it is difficult to fight lawsuits.
These mothers never give up and go around the world looking for their children as soon as they have time.
All their efforts are just to exchange for a chance to reunite with their children.
Children are strong reasons for single mothers
After having children, many women will have a lot of worries about divorce.
Once the decision is made to divorce, the child will also become the strong armor of the mother.
Giving up child custody strives to make money in order to be able to take the child back to his side; deprived of child custody, he does not give up looking for it, so that his child can enjoy maternal love; and a single mother who desperately fights for custody also strives to become the child's dependence.
Li Shaoyun, a single mother in Hubei, is a taxi driver.
The child was 6 months old and lived with her in a taxi.
On the one hand is survival, on the other hand is the burden of caring for children.
It's hard work, you can imagine.
But she didn't dare to stop, and she didn't dare to rest.
From the moment she took her daughter to run a rental, there were no more options in her life.
You can only grit your teeth and save as much money as possible for your child's future.
Deep down, she also felt guilty about her daughter.
Every time she passed the kindergarten, her daughter would lie down at the door and look around.
My daughter wants to go to school, but she doesn't have enough money to pay for her tuition.
Fortunately, along the way, her daughter has been her support.
Once there was a traffic accident, the person was fine, but he put in a few years of savings.
In desperation, she took her daughter and stood by the bridge and said:
"Yiyi, let's go jump off the bridge."
The daughter said, "No. ”
"That mom jumped. ”
"Mom doesn't jump either..."
In this way, my daughter survived the most difficult time with her.
Sometimes when there are not many passengers and no money is made, Yiyi will also comfort her mother.
Life is hard, but children have strength around them.
Children are both the weakness of single mothers and their strongest armor.
There is a sentence in "The Daughter's Choice":
People are desperate for life, and single mothers are particularly brave.
Because each of them has two lives, their own and their children, even if their own can not care, but the children you must care.
Being alone with children doesn't make single moms vulnerable, it makes them stronger.
For the sake of their children, they forge bravery, tenacity, and never give in to life.
They are like warriors, only for their children to break out of the world.
Children are the only reason for single mothers to be strong.
No one
Cares more about children than mothers
After watching an interview on the streets of Shenzhen, the question is:
"If divorced, do you choose a house or do you want children?"
Men's answers are almost always about choosing a house.
Some people say that the housing prices in Shenzhen are so expensive, why should I leave it for her?
It is also said that children can regenerate, but it is difficult to buy a house.
The answer of the women is the complete opposite.
"Of course, it is to have children, the house is gone and can be bought again, and the children will not come back."
"The value of the house is not as important as the child, the child is priceless."
"Children are the continuation of life, people are alive, houses are dead."
How to choose is a personal problem.
But it can also be seen from these interviews that women in marriage often value children more.
This is the instinct of maternal love, and it is also out of pure love.
But when it comes to a real divorce, the ownership of the children faces many realistic considerations.
Can you afford it? Did anyone help with it? Who is better for the child to follow?
These are the dilemmas women face when they divorce.
Because of love, so entangled.
Choose to bring yourself because of love; give up custody because of love.
Whether you want or not to have children, it doesn't matter if you want it or not.
Every child is exchanged for her mother's life, and they understand the hardships when giving up.
For the rest of their lives, they will also be deeply in pain and suffering.
Because a mother can never stop missing her child.
Most importantly, we don't use maternal love to kidnap any woman.
Divorce after having children is an unimaginable blow for women.
They need care, respect, and understanding.
Click "Like", may every mother after the divorce, can live their own happiness.
Author: Three Three, Source: Little Ten Points.