Marriage is a kaleidoscope.
Before watching "Goodbye Lover", no one expected that everyone could bump into the sugar of love from the relationship between divorced couples. The key couple is Guo Keyu and Zhang He, who say "there is no love between us".
Guo Keyu and Zhang He, one born in 1977 and one born in 1979; one Pisces, one Scorpio;
One is weak on the outside and stubborn on the inside; one is full of muscles and has a soft heart and many tears.
The two participate in this show, and Zhang He wants to give an explanation to the ten-year marriage: Who am I, a relative, an ordinary friend, or the father of the child?
Just like Shen Dianxia asked: After all these years, have you ever loved me?
Guo Keyu's purpose is much more realistic: I have children and need to earn money.
From the time when the two met each other shyly and did not dare to look each other in the eye, you know that although the couple has been divorced for a year, they have not had an old love.
When I was young, I liked a mature man, but I always refused to say it. I plucked up enough courage to tell him, but I didn't expect him to answer: "I already knew, because you would be shy when you saw me." "Later, there was a time when I liked to study the feelings of the two sexes, and after reading countless people, I found that he said a truth.
Regardless of age or status, people who love each other will be shy of each other. This sense of shyness, in the three pairs of men and women in "Goodbye Lover", only Guo Keyu and Zhang He have.
There is also a detail that is particularly interesting. The two happily congratulated each other on completing their tasks, and when they hugged, they invariably plucked their butts to avoid contact with their lower bodies, especially Guo Keyu.
In real life, people who embrace in this way are not simple in their hearts. The more you feel that the other person has a strong sexual attraction, the more sensitive you are to the touch of certain parts, dare not touch, afraid of losing control.
The two of them sat on a motorcycle, and Guo Keyu could naturally say "hug" and "dear".
Guo Keyu has the sensitivity and contradictions that belong to the artist.
On the one hand, it is understood that after divorce, two people are no longer tied, and normal communication may seem superfluous. For example, she would say that after receiving the divorce certificate, the two drove home, and she realized that "slow down" and "turn left" were normal exchanges before, but now she said that it was not appropriate.
But on the other hand, in the show, she will say that Zhang He's pajamas are too wrinkled, and it makes people feel that they have a smell when they look at it.
Zhang He replied, "You don't want to sneak up on my body fragrance", Guo Keyu covered his face and smiled.
These things, it is difficult not to believe that there is still love between them - not the feelings of old husbands and wives, but the love of young people, with hormones, sexual impulses, and body odors.
The two rode, Zhang He turned back, and Guo Keyu naturally called out "dear" in a gentle tone. At that moment, I believe that all the viewers have a trance - is this really not a blind date show? It's a hundred times sweeter than the tearing, breakup love show next door...
Everyone felt that they were in love, and CP fans even ran to Guo Keyu's Weibo and knelt down to beg the two to reunite. Miraculously, the two men will always speak the same tone: we have no love.
Marriage before love is the favorite theme of Bazongwen and romance novels.
Why do humans have such a deep obsession with "going to bed first and falling in love later"? I didn't understand it for a while. An author who specializes in writing the sweet pet article "First Marry and Then Love" told me that people who like to read love novels have sadomasochistic complexes, normal feelings are not read, and half animals and half angels can finally let the divine light of love destroy the decay, change the animal nature, change the hegemony, and change the world.
It turns out that life and fiction are still two different things.
In the novel, the world is full of marriage before love, and in reality, people who are flash-married are always in love and no love, playing the game of rolling dice.
In 2009, Guo Keyu and Zhang He filmed the romantic comedy "Perfect Bride". In the movie, Guo Keyu plays an elderly leftover girl who hates to marry, and Zhang He plays her prince.
Guo Keyu's cool, gentle temperament should especially attract the sullen male Zhang He. After filming, Guo Keyu sent something to Zhang He, and the two met in a café, and one ordered a cup of Long Island iced tea.
While drinking, Zhang He suddenly had a strong feeling: This person should be my wife.
Guo Keyu, who won the Hundred Flowers Award at the age of 17 with "Red Cherry", was 32 years old when he met Zhang He, and his life entered a period of career burnout, and he was in a state of special desire to get married and have children.
In the "People" interview, Guo Keyu described the desire for children at that time -
Once I was so impressed that when I got out of bed in the morning, I banged on the wall. I forgot which hotel I was in and where I got out of bed. I'm afraid of every play. After the killing, it seems that there is no thought. When I left, I left, and when I came back, no one picked me up. Only my mom occasionally asks, how are you? Did you eat it? Did you drink it? I especially want a child, I want something that is bound to life, and I am always bound to him.
At this intersection, Guo Keyu met Zhang He, whose appearance still made her score full marks even today.
Born in Shanghai, Zhang He graduated from Nortel and has been acting since graduation. But his stable and stable face, the play road is narrow, and there has been no big red.
At one point, Uncle Zhang he Xuebo walked through the Ya Pi Wind.
A man with a very good figure and too good facial features, walking in a yapi style, indecent and not lewd, like wearing someone else's muscle vest.
But in any case, this kind of looking man is indeed a qualified father, at least in terms of genes, it should not leave too many regrets for the child's appearance.
Zhang He wanted to get married, Guo Keyu wanted to have children, the two hit it off, and flashed marriage a month later.
In this choice, Guo Keyu is neither a victim nor a small white rabbit. On the contrary, she is close to the city girl who is both wise and courageous and understands what she needs—or in a way close to the Yishu girl.
If it is a novel, it is almost here, at most it is written that the child is born, and the long life after that is "happy life".
However, this is not the case in real life.
In 2011, Guo Keyu and Zhang He's son was born. Guo Keyu had to face the transformation of his role - from a film queen and lead singer of the band to a mother and a full-time housewife.
Guo Keyu originally thought that the life of chai rice oil and salt was not a problem for her, and she did like to live a life, however, "I later found out that I kind of took it for granted." ”
"I remember one time, there was a construction site opposite our house, building a building, and it was illuminated at night. I felt like I was waiting for the crew at night. Special missed. ”
Everyone, after all, wants to stand in the spotlight, especially for those who have received applause and flowers under this strong light.
Before the divorce, Guo Keyu was seriously ill, and this illness made her decide to divorce and find herself.
Many people think that the marriage between Guo Keyu and Zhang He has a problem because there is no love, including the parties who think so.
If so, I think things are relatively simple. People only need to find love to maintain a marriage, but this is not the case.
Although Tong Jiechen and Kk Wei are in love, they still want to divorce; Zhu Yaqiong and Lao Wang love and kill each other, implementing PUA on one side and trying to get rid of each other's mental control on the other.
The biggest problem in marriage is never love, although we are always exaggerating the role of love.
In Guo Keyu's divorce from Zhang He, love is just an excuse.
Two sensitive, self-ego, and competitive people, obviously after ten years of running-in, already have love, but they can not face the marriage with love, but also a chicken feathers or even to the reality of rupture, preferring to live forever in "no love" -
Compared to the inability to face the dullness of marriage and the lack of ability to deal with the relationship between husband and wife, "not loving" is indeed a better excuse.
Zhang He has always wanted to get back together, and Guo Keyu is obviously unwilling, because her state after divorce is much better than in marriage. Although she was alone with children, she lost 30 pounds, re-signed the company, prepared for a comeback, and even this reality show was part of her comeback.
If we only look at Guo Keyu's state, it is easy for us to simply dismiss Zhang He as a mother or a scumbag. However, Zhang He is obviously a man with the ability to take care of himself, and Guo Keyu also admits that in his own birth and upbringing, Zhang He is a qualified father.
Their problem is actually the expectation of marriage. This gap in expectations is also the source of many people's dissatisfaction with marriage in real life. Everyone is full of grievances in marriage, because we acquiesced that the only reason to get married was that two people were together and happier than one.
In fact, marriages where happiness is superimposed are rare. Especially when both people are good enough, marriage is often an expendation in the name of love, rather than an increase in value.
Neither the Sea Oath Mountain Alliance nor a marriage certificate can eliminate the gap between the two. In marriage, true understanding is scarce and everyone is making it up. What makes the difference is how tolerant each person is to make-ups, and whether they have a relatively independent and firm inner world to hedge against marital disappointment.
I often hear people say, "The only possibility I can get married is for two people to live together, better than one person." ”
This statement is completely correct in theory, but in real life, marriage is not a calculation problem.
Marriage is the day itself.
No matter what reason you have for getting married, whether you love to death or calculate clearly, you will eventually find that marriage is just an option when we are tired of being single, it is a change, not an optimal option.
Someone can adapt to this change, and someone can't. Divorcing because you can't fit in is also an option, not a failure.
There is a link in the program, everyone talks about the problem of remarriage, Guo Keyu said, I hope that the new other half, can accept the child, can also accept Zhang He, Zhang He represents her past.
Zhang He said that he would not remarry again and would go to a nursing home when he was old.
Seeing this paragraph, I actually feel that Guo Keyu is not suitable for entering marriage again, because her expectations for marriage are still very high. Zhang He, like many men, can be happy with whomever he marries, because he does not have much hope for emotions and marriage.
Marriage is bland and cannot withstand the blessing of dreams; the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. Having a proper pessimism about marriage is easier to live a good life.
In fact, the background of life is plain and boring, good and bad, just married, our resentment of ordinary life, suddenly there is a pot to throw away.
Guo Keyu and Zhang He, who constantly send sugar in the show, have been calling for remarriage since the last episode was broadcast. Fortunately, Guo Keyu's interview with "People" has been spoiled, and the two cannot remarry.
Many people only know that Guo Keyu is an actress, but few people know that she is still a singer and songwriter, and formed a band very early. Recently, Guo Keyu posted a Weibo post with musicians, including Chen Hui of the "Phi Ge" erased face band, so there are fans cue her to participate in "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves 3".
If you take marriage and having children as a stage of adult life, Guo Keyu, who started again at the age of 44, is just in his old age.
In fact, many choices, if it is a stage of adult life, will become easier. Life is a bitter day, a day is a day, a lifetime, this kind of thing, as good as gold in the sand, as heavy as gold.
If you live it normally, you may have it one day; the more you want to get it, the sooner you may lose it...