Author/Nanxun
There is a sentence in Li Bai's "Autumn Wind Words": Sauvignon Blanc remembers each other, Sauvignon Blanc is infinite, and I know that it is so tripping, how can I not know each other at the beginning. It is to describe the situation in which men and women here are trapped by love.
But from a realistic point of view, men are mostly rational, and women are mostly emotional.
Sensibility is the psychological process and rationality based on personal emotions in the handling of things, and it is the belief that behind the movement of colorful and complex things, there is an unchanging universal law hidden, and there is a more "real" essence behind the phenomenon.
So in the feelings of men and women, men are more rational to make choices, while women are more difficult to maintain reason in emotions and are more likely to be trapped by love.
Zeng Shiqiang, a master of traditional Chinese studies, once said: The saddest thing about a woman in this life is love affair.
Studies have found that at the end of a relationship, men mostly get out of trouble and re-engage in new relationships in one to three months, while women, mostly in years.
In ancient times, even if the husband died, women had to remain widowed for a lifetime, and it was difficult for modern women to accept others or fall in love with others for a short time after breaking up.
Some women sink into a state of loneliness or quickly enter a new relationship, just to get out of their lonely situation.
After staying in the middle of the night, instead of inner bitterness and memories, more emerges, and they lose confidence and hope in life and feelings.
At this time, I recommend reading some world famous books or watching some famous books adapted from movies, such as "Becoming Jane Austen", a well-known book, a lot of understanding and enlightenment of love, which can trigger your heart.
There is a passage in the plot that is quite touching: when Jane and John are on the way to elope, Jane sees a letter from John's sister, and she understands that John is not just John, but also five brothers and sisters behind him to raise, and John is not a person who looks profligate on the surface.
At this time, Jane's reason prevails over emotion and chooses to end this less responsible elopement.
"If our love destroys your family and destroys itself, then in the long years of guilt, regret and self-blame, love will be consumed by guilt." 」
In love, no matter what kind of identity we appear in each other's lives, we should face it in a rational state, even if the passion fades, but carefully examine, so as not to fall into a difficult situation.
From Jane's body, we summarize the following four points of inspiration that can help us better understand ourselves.
1. May you have the courage and persistence of "not loving and not marrying";
At the age of 20, Jane Austen meets the clever and cunning Irish lawyer Tom Lefroy, and their arrogant behavior gradually develops feelings for each other.
However, the two families in reality are not rich, the Austin priest family hopes that the future son-in-law will have financial strength, and the LeFroy family, who met, insists on marrying the rich family.
When Jane proposed to mr. Vasley, a high-society nobleman who knew her, Jane said: "But she did not accept a marriage without love, thinking that a woman could support herself on her own ability." And rejecting this period may change the trajectory of her life's marriage.
Mr. Vasley had a rich aunt and a huge estate to inherit, and it was clear that by choosing him, Austin would live a carefree life.
Compared to this, Austin's heart: Do I love him? No, I love Lefroy, and I am willing to marry him even if the other person has nothing, because only a heart that is pleasing to the heart is equal to love.
Jane and Tom try hard to be together, and at this time, even if they do not have a good love ending, it is not a pity.
But a letter shatters their illusions, causing lefroy's family to oppose the marriage, and eventually they decide to elope.
As a result, Lefroy's financial resources would be cut off, and even if he chose to work, he would not be able to feed the entire family.
Under strong secular pressure, they have no freedom of choice, and the tragedy of love is finally lamented.
The first love ended with a forced breakup, and Austin chose not to marry for life, so he poured all his unfinished feelings into literature.
No matter what kind of life he chooses, Oster always knows what he wants and bravely insists on his choice.
Although everyone can't do Austen's tenacity, I hope we all have the courage and persistence of "not loving and not marrying".
2. There is no age to marry, only feelings that should be married;
Born in a small town in Hampshire, England, Jane is a little tall and a little playful, like an unpolished piece of jade, she is well-read, she is an amateur writer, but this is not a good thing.
Because in Britain at the end of the 18th century, women had almost no social status, and their fate and rights were determined by men.
Therefore, for the women of the time, wisdom was superfluous, they could only attach their lives to men, and marriage was the only decent way out.
Jane is no exception, she was born with a good-looking skin bag, and her parents placed high hopes on her, hoping to become rich overnight through her marriage.
But Jane knows her heart too well, and dares to face it and even make her own choices and stick to it.
People in life always use escape and condemnation to spurn everything around them, dare not face their own lives, and give their hopes and destinies to others.
When you change your perspective, even if fate holds a grudge against your life, but you have a strong and brave heart, when facing setbacks, no longer escape, you will also be a braver soldier in the Vietnam War.
There is no age to marry, only feelings to marry
The surrounding environment can't, poverty can't, love can't.
If a love will make you lose everything, then in the end you will also lose love in guilt, it is better to put this love in your heart and let it become part of your life vision.
Sometimes, the love that cannot be had may be better.
Whether you want to be Jane or become an ordinary woman, perhaps, there is only one true meaning of a happy life, choose what you love, when you can't love what you choose, or life goes against your heart, you have to have the capital and courage to jump out at any time, this is the meaning of independent personality, in fact, not only women, men are the same.
3, a good marriage, must consider the material;
There is a line in the line: "Nothing destroys the human spirit more than poverty"
Love is fascinating, but money is essential.
Without the support of money, love is only a shell, with no support at all.
Maybe when it comes to materialism, in the eyes of some girls, it is unbearable, or they say: you don't know love at all!
But when you've been through marriage, the problem will be solved.
yes!
The Lefroy family survived thanks to the relief of the lord's uncle, and Austen's family hoped to get out of poverty through Jane's marriage.
In the face of this naked reality, they chose to let each other go.
Lefroy eventually married a big bridesmaid and became a famous justice, and Jane fulfilled her dream of writing.
If you actually read this masterpiece (movie), you will find that there are far more than these three points, and maybe the moment you open it, you will fall in love with it.
In this life, women will always meet many people, meet many things, floating and sinking also want to seize some opportunities and things, read you will know, how women do, in order to recognize themselves, stand there in the best posture, live their unique life.
END
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