When I was in elementary school, a neighbor's aunt died of leukemia. It is said that it was her twin sister's reluctance to donate bone marrow that brought the doomed tragedy ahead of schedule. During that time, all the voices were blaming my sister for not doing what she was supposed to do.
"Guardian of The Sister" tells an almost identical story about love and death, about morality and law, but not about right or wrong.
Sister's guardianship
Anna has been there for her sister Kate since birth. Kate suffered from leukemia when she was two years old, and due to the unsuccessful matching of her four-year-old brother Jesse, their desperate parents Brian and Sarah customized an embryo that could be perfectly matched with Kate through gene editing and chromosome pairing, and this embryo was Anna.
Starting with cord blood, Anna kept providing Kate with lymphocytes, granulocytes, and stem cells, until this time, Anna needed a kidney.
Thirteen-year-old Anna didn't want to donate a kidney, but thirteen was not an age where she could sign documents and decide her destiny. It seems that as long as her parents decide to let Anna donate her kidney, she must donate. Anna is afraid to show sarah her wishes, because she has witnessed Sarah's extreme love for Kate since she was a child, and she knows that losing Kate will bring a fatal blow to Sarah.
In desperation, Anna chose to resort to the law and regain the right to use her body from her parents.
Anna's birth was a blessing for Kate, and for herself, it was more like a tragedy.
There is no doubt that Anna's parents love her, but for them, Anna is not only the little daughter, but also the medicine of the eldest daughter, and is a very functional tool person. Growing up in such a way, Anna felt that she was just an appendage of Kate, and thus resented her own existence. In Anna's eyes, the greatest meaning of her existence is to save Kate, and if Kate really does not exist, then there is no need for her to exist.
As she grew older, Anna's sense of self began to awaken, and even when customized, she wanted to have a life other than save Kate. She wanted to play hockey, she wanted to go to summer camp, she wanted to make friends, she wanted to have her body at her disposal, but it all had to come at the cost of Kate's life. Anna, of course, loves Kate and wants to save her, but in this way, she must give up her desires and even sacrifice her health.
Anna is miserable, and in the conflict between self-interest and family interests, she can't find the perfect solution, but at least she should have the right to dominate her body. Anna's parents are also miserable, choosing between two daughters, how to choose is not fair, but they can not use love as an excuse to deprive Anna of the right to dominate her body.
The book ostensibly explores whether a minor whose rights and interests have been violated by his parents can take back the right to make medical decisions from his parents, but in fact raises the dilemma of choosing between self-interest and collective interests. We always celebrate selfless giving while ignoring the interests of the devotees; we acquiesce in giving as an obligation, but in reality it is a right; we morally judge those who appear less great to protect ourselves, forgetting the most basic sense of self, which is rooted in human nature, and the rights and interests that we are born to be human.
Those who are willing to sacrifice themselves deserve praise, but we should also respect the will of each individual, and no one has the right or position to touch the rights and interests of another person. Devotion is a beautiful thing, but when devotion is shackled, it only becomes heavy.
Mother's protection
What does a mother do when she is about to lose her child? As a mother, she will do everything she can to save her children, just like the violent mother who moved China to cut her liver and save her son.
After Kate falls ill, sarah's life focuses on Kate, Kate is her priority, and all people and things are always behind Kate. As a mother, Sarah certainly loves Jesse and Anna, but once the mother's love has a priority, it will favor one over the other.
Anna's birth was unfair, she was already suffering before she understood what pain was.
When Anna first donated lymphocytes to Kate, she called out to her mother for pain. But Sarah only had Kate in her eyes, and it wasn't until Brian repeatedly stressed that "Anna wants to see you" that Sarah hurried to comfort Anna. Sarah doesn't realize that anna was also in the hospital when Kate was hospitalized, and in order to go back to take care of Kate as soon as possible, Sarah even forcibly added painkillers to Anna despite the doctor's advice. Brian gives Anna a necklace in return for helping her sister, which makes Sarah ashamed, but she has not changed because of such a small episode, and Kate is still her priority.
Sarah thinks that anna's donation to Kate is a matter of course and obligation, because she herself will give everything for Kate, then Anna must think the same thing. Knowing that Anna wants to take back the right to make medical decisions through legal means, Sarah still stubbornly believes that Anna is unreasonable.
Sarah, accustomed to Anna's existence as a functional daughter, barely considered Anna as an individual with a will. She is bent on saving Kate, but forgets that Anna is also suffering from the extraction of bone marrow, and she tries her best to protect Kate, forgetting that Anna also needs protection.
Jesse, Kate was four years old when he was sick, so his childhood also stopped at four years old. Kate is sick, and he will be dug up from bed by his parents in the middle of the night and rushed to the hospital; Kate is sick, and his long-awaited skateboarding will not be available after the temporary cancellation; Kate is sick, and Sarah has the right to refuse to buy him sneakers.
Neglected from an early age, Jesse gave up on himself, drinking, taking drugs, stealing cars, and even setting fires. Sarah and Brian make no secret of their disappointment in this self-depraved son, Kate's illness also leaves them with no extra energy to care for Jesse, and their laissez-faire of Jesse makes Jesse feel like invisible smoke in the eyes of his parents. Jesse even envied Anna, because although Anna was packed with Kate, she was at least needed.
Jesse didn't resent Kate for his pain, on the contrary, he resented that he couldn't help Kate. In order to make up for Kate in another form, he voluntarily became an organ donor; in order to punish himself, he indulged himself in breaking the law. Sarah decides that Jesse is incurable, but thankfully, Brian finally sees Jesse's heart and realizes what he owes Jesse.
Kate, all the stories because of her, she divided up most of the mother's love, but also subject to this heavy mother's love.
Kate wears a metaphor for cancer, and Sarah insists that she change it; Kate brings up the topic of death, and Sarah pretends not to hear; Kate can't bear the torment of illness and wants to kill herself, because she knows that killing herself is killing her mother. Sarah wants to keep Kate's persistence and let Kate swallow the pain and keep alive. At this time, it was impossible to tell whether Sarah loved Kate more or Kate loved Sarah more.
Sarah is a strong mother, but also a derelict mother, who thinks she knows her three children well, but uses blind maternal love to kidnap them. She kidnapped Anna's life, Jesse's childhood, Kate's last dignity in life, and created tragedy on top of the original tragedy.
When maternal love is too much mixed with the subjective will of the mother, this love becomes biased, causing the children and even the whole family to fall into pain. Anna despises herself, Jesse abandons herself, Kate wrongs herself, and they can more or less represent a part of the children imprisoned by maternal love.
Many of us have experienced the "good for you" type of maternal love, and the typical representative of it is the suffocating maternal love of Zhu Yuchen's mother. Maternal love is great, but it is not a reason to trap a child. As Gibran wrote in "Your Children Are Not Yours," "What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts." ”
Sister's guardianship
Anna finally tells the truth about her suing her parents in court: it's not that she really doesn't want to donate a kidney for Kate, but that Kate herself wants to give up, and because the strong Sarah won't listen to the child's ideas, she is forced to use this method to solve the problem.
Anna loves Kate, and she is willing to use her kidney to prolong Kate's life, but she must respect Kate's choice even more. Kate also loves Anna, she knows Anna better than Sarah, she knows anna wants to save her, but also wants to have a normal life, she has got enough from Anna, so she can't take Anna's life anymore, Anna has become her hero, but definitely not because she became a martyr.
The ending of the story is not perfect, Anna accidentally suffers a car accident that causes brain death, and Kate miraculously survives after receiving Anna's kidney. Compared with the novel, the ending of the movie may be more acceptable, Kate is relieved as she wishes, and Anna has her own life. Either way, it makes people face death.
Sarah's attitude toward death is avoidance, and any words or hints that Kate will die can break her down. Others, in the more than a dozen years of wrestling with illness, have learned to accept death, including Kate herself.
There are very few people who can face death calmly, and most people treat death more like Sarah, who retreats from death and desperately wants to keep what remains, because letting go often requires greater courage. But instead, life loses its last dignity.
In 2018, 104-year-old scientist Goodal went to Sweden to receive euthanasia, and at the airport, his grandson said goodbye to him with a smile on his face. Goodell didn't get terminally ill, but aging has reduced his quality of life, saying, "I'm not living happily, I want to die." "Instead of surviving, it is better to leave with dignity."
Kate and Anna's attitude toward death is the same as Goodall's, and the sisters' courage is touching. No one doesn't want to live, but Kate doesn't want to drag her family down anymore, she is willing to meet death for her family, she makes a photo album for Sarah, encouraging Anna to pursue her life. Anna chooses between saving Kate and respecting Kate, for which she has to bear not only the grief of losing Kate, but also the guilt of her own guilt, the incomprehension of her parents and the public opinion of society.
"Sister's Guardian", who is the guardian? Anna is truly Kate's most important guardian, but Sarah, Brian, and Jesse are also her guardians. Interestingly, the original English title of this book is "MY SISTER'S KEEPER", which can be understood not only as the guardian of the sister, but also as the guardian of the sister, and I prefer to understand it as the guardian of each other. Anna and Kate are both guarding each other with the purest love.
When life comes to an end, the best guardian is not to forcibly retain life that has been cannibalized by disease or aging in the name of love, but to listen to each other, to understand each other, to complete each other, to protect each other, because the one who will leave can also become the guardian.
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