The meaning of idols is to take you to become a better version of yourself.
Author: Chen Qianduo
Original debut of The Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn).
"Save us! We can't get down! ”
One night a few days ago, a police station in Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, suddenly received an alarm that a group of girls had been trapped in the mountains.
The police arrived at the scene only to find that the hillside was very steep and the sky was dark, and if they were not careful, they would slide down the mountain.
The police searched around, and finally found a safe place in the weeds, set up a ladder to help the trapped girls down the mountain one by one.
But even if the rescuers on this side are busy, and there are people on the other side who continue to try to grope up the mountain, completely unafraid of danger, the police have to save people while dividing the police force to persuade them to return.
What is the scenery on this mountain that deserves to be fascinated by so many people, and they are not even afraid of danger?
In fact, there is nothing, only a program group is shooting a variety show nearby, and the trapped girls are all fans who come to see them, just to occupy the favorable terrain and take a look at the idol from a distance.
Before this group of girls were trapped on the mountain, they had been strongly discouraged by many patrols to let them hurry down, but these fans with "perseverance" did not care at all, and even recoiled:
"You have the ability to let the stars out, I will shoot and leave!"
It wasn't until night fell and they couldn't get down the mountain at all that they remembered to call the police for help.
Most of these girls are post-00s, the youngest is only 16 years old, in order to chase the stars or even ignore the danger, in case of accident, how much heartache should parents have.
But the farce of children chasing stars is far more than this:
Some fans Xiaoling believes that she is Buddhist, but she spent 10,000 yuan for Aidou in just one concert;
Some fans, in order to rush the performance of idols, encourage student fans to buy hundreds of digital albums with flowers and white strips;
What's more, it is not allowed for others to say a word about the idol's badness, otherwise they will be angry and start a scolding war every minute...
You know, most of these star chasers are students, have not yet formed a stable three views, it is very easy to spend "huge sums" for idols under the instigation, become full of anger, and even delay their studies and ruin their lives.
Is star chasing really eroding our next generation a little bit?
01
Star chasing is not necessarily toxic, but it must be measured
Remember this year's milk dumping event?
When the talent show "Youth with You 3" was close to the final, a video suddenly broke out on the Internet, and workers sat around the pool mouth and poured new unopened bottles of milk into the pool.
Such a large number of milk is poured, not because the product is expired, but because the manufacturer will help the idol of the two-dimensional code printed in the bottle cap, in order to vote for the idol, the star chaser can only buy milk in boxes, and then hire someone to pour it, just to get a vote on the bottle cap.
Milk, which should be the most valuable of the commodities, has become a victim and stumbling block for star-chasing, and can only be wasted.
Until CCTV shot, named this "rice circle chaos", stopped the recording of the draft, and there was no star-chasing child who was distressed about the milk he poured, but only cared about the idol who could not debut.
Spending money on idols is commonplace, and waste is even more trivial. What happened to these star-chasing children?
China Youth Daily once conducted a star-chasing survey of teenagers, and the results showed that more than half of the teenagers surveyed spent more than 100 yuan a month chasing stars, and some even spent hundreds of yuan.
However, only 20.7% of the surveyed adolescents said that their parents knew and supported it, and 50.5% of the surveyed adolescents admitted that their parents did not know that they were spending money on star chasing.
You know, a child's living expenses will not exceed a few thousand yuan a month, and hiding from parents can only reduce their quality of life, but even so, children still have no regrets.
And the parents who are in the dark not only do not know that their children secretly "provide" for idols for love, but also do not understand that their children have long lost their reason and quality on the way to chasing stars.
Just 2 months ago, on an Air China flight from Hangzhou to Beijing, because there were boy band members in the front cabin of the plane, the plane landed and taxied, and many fans in the rear cabin crowded into the front cabin in the aisle in order to see the idol.
The crew repeatedly dissuaded the fans from returning to their seats out of kindness, otherwise there would be danger, but the fans above not only did not listen to the advice, but also unreasonably shouted back to the crew: "Do you want to gamble a thousand dollars, don't fall!" ”
In the end, the children did not return to their seats, but complained to the crew because they did not see the idol.
Do you dare to believe that a well-behaved and sensible child at home can become so rude because of star chasing?
Why don't children dare to tell their parents about the stars?
Because of the crazy spending of money, the impact of academic performance, and the loss of reason for chasing stars, parents avoid the matter of "chasing stars".
But what really makes parents jealous is not chasing stars, but "unlimited".
To solve the problem of children's irrational star chasing, we need to go into their world and understand what this star means to them.
02
"Chasing the stars is actually chasing yourself"
Many parents and even their children themselves do not understand why they will chase the stars.
Psychologically speaking, idols happen to meet their two major "needs":
First, when they are teenagers, children are in a stage of exploring "what kind of person will I become", and the idol is their ideal appearance, which meets their exploration needs.
Second, children need someone else's sense of identity. By worshipping an idol, they can show the message of "what kind of person I am" or "what kind of taste I have", so as to gain a sense of "identity" from others.
As Sabine analyzed the psychology of teenagers chasing stars:
"Chasing the stars is actually chasing yourself, you are actually designing an ideal state of life for yourself, in fact, in the end, chasing after you, chasing your own shadow."
Because each of us is not so perfect in the real world, you can't do what you want, but at least you can structure your life in a fictional world.
When you see him (idol) like that, it's actually what you want to be, so you want to be as good and successful as he is. ”
In fact, teens chasing stars is a very common phenomenon, and there are stars that can be "sought after" in every era, but the key is to let children understand what is the real "star chasing".
Positive star chasing can help children find the direction of their efforts, provide a steady stream of forward momentum, and more importantly, children will become better and better under the influence of idols!
Li Rujia in Shunde No. 1, because she likes Wang Junkai, in the stressful third year of high school, whenever she is lost and wants to give up, she will use the words of idols to encourage herself to work harder.
In the end, she played an extraordinary role in the college entrance examination, scored a good score of 652 points, and entered the top 40,985 colleges and universities in the province.
A high school girl who liked Yi Qianxi was determined to be admitted to Peking University because her idol once said in the show that "Peking University is my goal".
You have not fulfilled your wish, I will complete it for you, this is the best love of fans for idols.
In addition to stars, there are also some "stars" that can make children spiritually inspired and inject motivation from the bottom of their hearts.
At the beginning of 2020, in the Wuhan Fang cabin hospital, Xu Dan, a senior in college, told the doctor that he wanted to apply for the graduate school of Hunan University of Traditional Chinese Medicine, but he did not expect that the doctor who inspected the consultation was a professor of the ideal college.
"Welcome, you're going to be the first to admit you!"
Grateful for the benevolence and encouragement of the professor's doctors, Xu Dan was full of motivation during the preparation period, and finally picked the fruits of his dream because of "chasing stars".
There are also many national "superstars", and the pomp and circumstance is so large that countless children applaud it, and even welcome it.
Parents will not only not stop, but also chase with their children!
Wang Pinxian, an 85-year-old academician of Tongji University, does not talk about clothing, has no pomp and circumstance, and a bicycle comes and goes to the campus, but once the class is full. Students meet Academician Wang on campus, even if it is only a back shadow, they must take photos to commemorate it.
Zhong Nanshan once returned to the Affiliated Middle School of South China Normal University to participate in the school celebration activities, and the students would not be able to leak Zhong Laowei, and the mobile phone held high was simply more than the star chasing scene, just to record his encouragement and give himself a shot in the arm.
In 2019, Academician Yuan Longping appeared at the opening ceremony of Hunan Agricultural University, and the students were crowded, and some even lay on the railing to listen to the speech, determined to contribute to the motherland's agriculture!
Walking on such a star chasing road, children can not only see the stars, but also grow themselves into a star, which is the meaning of star chasing!
What is an idol, a passage said in "Star Detective" is still impressive:
An idol is a mirror that reflects what you want yourself to be.
Idols are the strength that gives you hope and courage to face life.
Idols are companions, growing together, and each is wonderful.
03
"Chasing the stars is not terrible, the key lies in guiding"
In "Metamorphosis", there was a crazy star-chasing girl Chen Siyuan, who was only 16 years old and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on star chasing.
Unlike other wealthy families on the show, Chen Siyuan's mother is an accountant, and her father is just an ordinary bus driver, so you can imagine what the cost of chasing stars means to the family.
Parents do not understand why children are like crazy, paying so much for an irrelevant person, for which parents and children have no less conflicts and quarrels.
But even if she had a fierce argument with her parents the day before, Chen Siyuan would still ask her parents for money in order to chase the stars, and even play a trick to rob them.
Chen Siyuan, who regards star chasing as the focus of her life, has also become a student's identity, and she has also been suspended for long-term absenteeism.
The mother silently shed tears because of her daughter's crazy star chasing, but the daughter was vaguely proud when telling the experience of chasing stars, and the contrast of the picture made people feel sad.
In fact, the reason why Chen Siyuan is addicted to chasing stars and refuses to look back is because she is not only chasing stars, but also pursuing the recognition of others.
When she takes a good photo of the star, the fans will regard her as a big guy, and the words of encouragement and praise will make her psychologically satisfied.
This is also the reason why many children insist on chasing the stars even if they are not understood by their parents, because all they want is a word of approval.
If there are star-chasing children at home, we may wish to be more tolerant and understanding of the children's star-chasing behavior, giving them reasonable freedom, rather than rudely prohibiting everything.
In fact, there is no need to stop the star-chasing behavior within a reasonable range, after all, who did not have a favorite idol when they were young?
Even, we can skillfully use star chasing to enter the child's heart and guide the child to develop in a better direction.
We may wish to listen to the children talk about their love beans, the children will continue to count the advantages of the idol: positive sunshine, hard work, willing to endure hardships, good tutoring...
We can also logically use the name of "chasing stars" to encourage children to look like idols, do what idols can do, do what idols do, and slowly become another star.
In this process, children who feel the support of their parents will not only have the confidence to chase the stars, but also feel the strong love from their parents in their hearts.
Some parents help their children put up posters and arrange bookshelves, and children will not forget their parents' expectations while being proud;
Some parents set their children's idols as the standards of future sons-in-law, and children feel that they should work hard;
Some parents try to meet their children's wishes, and children are not only happy, but more willing to open their hearts and listen to their parents' suggestions...
Children enjoy the joy of chasing stars, and become more confident under the love of their parents, which also ignites the motivation to move forward.
Only because, in the process of chasing the good, they no longer need to struggle to prove to their parents, let alone confrontation, just feel confident and bold to complete the transformation in the process of chasing and reshape a better self.
04
Star chasing is not a bad thing.
Who doesn't have an idol to yearn for and aspire to?
But between good and bad, there is only one "degree".
Chasing stars is like a voyage in the child's youth, parents only need to be at the helm and guide the child to move in the right direction, and the child can naturally grasp the "degree" of star chasing.
Parents can also make the shining point of the idol become the goal of the child's pursuit in the process of "chasing the star" with the child, and motivate the child to move forward side by side with the idol.
Children will also slowly realize in the progress of time and again that the best way to support idols is not to spend money to help, not to blindly follow, but to become a better self.
May all star-chasing children cheer themselves on with the strength to help their idols, and become an equally sparkling star, shining in different spaces with idols!
END