The author of this article | Lü Bai
The full text is 5147 words
What you may be bothered about is not how to solve the problem, but "there are so many problems, what should I do". So, what you have to do is yell "go away" and then push forward with full energy. Just do it, and slowly there will be a way out.
You can "kill" anxiety
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Have you ever had a heart beat faster, no appetite, or difficulty breathing because of anxiety?
I have.
In 2019, my company opened a branch in Wuhan and recruited a group of fresh college students, because the recruitment was relatively hasty, and I did not expect that 6 people resigned on the first day of work.
On the first day of the intern's arrival, they heard that their basic salary was linked to the work, and found that the work indicators to be completed were very difficult, and they were new to the road, and they had no idea what they were going to do. Of course, the company also has responsibilities, the recruitment is too hasty, there is no time to communicate with them clearly, the basic salary of the internship period is also based on the completion of certain work indicators as a prerequisite. Two reasons led to the company's record of 6 employees resigning on the first day of work.
I also saw this scene for the first time, when I was in Beijing, the branch was in Wuhan, I originally wanted to do something, but the limitation of distance made me feel a deep sense of powerlessness, feeling that I could not do anything.
2
Looking back on that experience now, I still can't help but frown, at that time I couldn't and couldn't get rid of that endless anxiety, it was almost extremely anxious.
What if there are not enough people now? Recruit new people. What if the new person goes again? There are too many uncertainties and it will take a lot of time. What should I do if the company's indicators are not completed?
I wake up every day thinking about these questions and fall asleep with the same questions every day. These questions have appeared in my mind countless times, but I just can't find a way out, or frankly, I'm not looking for a way, but I'm just asking myself hypnotically, as if this would solve the problem, just no action, no awareness of action.
Could it be that God has mercy on my hairline that is receding day by day? By chance, I saw a passage from Hesenberg whose personal experience was that if you feel that something makes you particularly anxious and overwhelms you, then the best way to solve it is to do it directly, leave nothing at it, just do it hard, try to push the progress. Every time you push forward a little bit of this tricky thing, your anxiety decreases by one point. At the same time, the less anxiety you have, the faster you can move forward. As long as you grit your teeth and keep pushing forward, there will always be a day of relief. And every time you complete a tricky task, you're more or less a little stronger than before, and this chore will always change you a little.
When I saw this passage, I was lying on the bed and brushing Weibo, and after reading it, I jumped up in surprise. It turned out that what I had been anxious about was not the Wuhan branch, but the anxiety itself. I play these puzzles in my brain like slideshows, and every day I wake up to hint at myself in my heart, which is another day of anxiety. However, I did not use practical actions to eliminate anxiety!
From that day on, I learned to do "don't care about anything, just do it hard and try to push the progress". I immediately booked a ticket from Beijing to Wuhan and went to Wuhan for two weeks. As soon as I arrived in Wuhan, I participated in the work of the Wuhan branch, changed the original working method of the branch, helped the company solve problems, and improved the competition mechanism and improved the enthusiasm of new employees... Everything I can think of, I try to do. Instead of thinking "I'm so tired and anxious today," I try to push things forward and thus "kill" anxiety!
Sure enough, as Hesenberg said, every time something tricky was pushed forward a little, my anxiety was reduced by one point.
As I continued to push forward, the problem was slowly solved, and I was no longer anxious. Moreover, the new force of Wuhan Branch has gradually become stronger. Originally a group of college students who did not operate the "Little Red Book" App, "Xiao Bai", in this experience, became 300,000 likes per week, and if they did not open the Little Red Book for a day, there were "9999+" likes and unread "big bulls".
In this battle with anxiety, I killed anxiety when I was almost killed by anxiety. In this way, I not only survived, but also became stronger.
3
Life is so long, so long that anxiety is everywhere, everywhere.
More than once, I've heard from my students, friends, and colleagues that they're feeling anxious. When I go to school, I am anxious about how to get a high score; after work, I am anxious that the work indicators issued by my boss are too harsh; when I get married, I am anxious about my children's food, clothing, housing, and education; when I retire, I am anxious about the next generation's problem of buying a house and a car.
There is so much anxiety, even if you avoid seeing it, you will eventually have to face the anxiety face to face. That being the case, it is better to start frankly and confidently on the road, not to be bothered by anxiety itself, to directly compete with anxiety, to push things forward, to solve problems, and to "kill" anxiety.
As long as you act, the process itself is "killing" anxiety.
Don't wait and wait for anything difficult, it will only make people suffer in endless anxiety, because at this time you may not be anxious about something, but anxiety itself; what you are worried about may not be how to solve the problem, but "there are so many problems, what should I do" . So, what you have to do is yell "go away" and then push forward with full energy. Just do it, and slowly there will be a way out.
As things move forward, the anxious living space will be squeezed smaller and smaller, and things will become more and more interesting.
Then, you will find that you can "kill" anxiety.
Thinking on the Ground: "The 5-Minute Rule"
Many times, it is not the things that make us feel anxious, but the anxiety itself.
If you're in such a state, take a deep breath, set a 5-minute alarm, and tell yourself I'll just do it for 5 minutes.
5 minutes, just listening to a slightly longer piece of music, is not effortless at all. When you feel anxious, your brain will be more willing to obey such gentle instructions. Then, you have to tell the brain what to do in 5 minutes.
1. Don't set tasks that are too abstract and complex. If you want to memorize words, you tell yourself, in these 5 minutes, first open the book or mobile phone software, 1 minute to memorize 1 word, a total of 5 words. Remember, give yourself a task that you won't resist when you think about it.
Start acting, feel relaxed, 5 minutes will soon pass. At this time, you are actually not so anxious, on the contrary, there will be a feeling of relaxation. You can also do one more thing and say to yourself, "You're awesome, you've memorized 5 words." "Affirm your own little efforts and successes.
2. You can enjoy this sense of solidity and continue to do what you once resisted.
This "5-minute rule" is a method without burden and a relief every time I feel anxious. You can also try it.
There is no time to be ready
Xiao Xin - my college classmate, originally had very good grades, steadily enrolled in the "985 Project" college, the result of the college entrance examination failed, helpless to come to our school. However, he was not reconciled and still wanted to study in the "985 Project" college.
Therefore, he began to prepare for graduate school from his freshman year. From his senior year to now, he has taken the exam 2.5 times. Yes, I'm not wrong, 2.5 times.
In 2017, Xiao Xin's first graduate school was held, when we were both in our senior year. In order to be able to review and prepare for the exam in the second half of the year, he tried his best to eliminate all interferences and completed all classes before the second semester of his junior year. Naturally, he did not participate in all entertainment.
Unexpectedly, when there were 12 days before the graduate school, the school asked to submit the graduation thesis topic. Once the dissertation topic is submitted, it cannot be changed arbitrarily. Therefore, he spent several days trying to be perfect.
Less than a week after getting the thesis topic selected, Xiao Xin was going to take the graduate school, and Xiao Xin panicked. Because according to the original plan, he could finish the review, but he was delayed by the dissertation for several days, and the original plan could not be completed, and Xiao Xin consciously lacked preparation. In the end, Xiao Xin made a decision - to fight again next year.
After registering, the hotel was booked, and he was going to the battlefield in less than a week, but Xiao Xin decided to give up the exam because he felt that his plan had been disrupted and he was not ready.
That's the 0.5 graduate schools.
In 2018, he entered the second semester of his senior year. Most of the students are preparing to graduate and looking for a job, but Xiao Xin is still buried in preparation for graduate school.
This year, Xiao Xin felt much better prepared. Graduation at home, no trivia bothered, he can concentrate on reviewing. Finally, he took his first postgraduate exam. Of course, the result must have been guessed - did not enter the examination, otherwise there would not be 2.5 examinations.
He failed this time because he was not well prepared. The questions of the exam were not difficult, and he had seen them all when he was reviewing, but he did not memorize them as a key point, and finally answered the questions hastily, and the scores were not satisfactory.
This was his 1.5th graduate school entrance examination.
In December 2019, there was less than a month left before Xiaoxin's 2.5 examination.
This month, Xiao Xin was like a chicken blood, waking up every day to study. He was supposed to take a lunch break at noon, but he couldn't sleep. He closed the door and closed the curtains, not knowing that it was dark or dawn. As soon as he closed his eyes, his mind was full of the content of several professional books and the knowledge points of the collation, and even after falling asleep, he would unconsciously memorize the book.
It seems to be very efficient, but it is not.
At midnight on December 14, 2019, Xiao Xin had not closed his eyes for 36 hours, not because he did not want to sleep, but because he could not sleep at all. This was his second insomnia this month.
Later, Xiao Xin deliberately went to bed early to adjust his schedule, but stayed up until more than 4 a.m., he still couldn't sleep, and finally relied on half a sleeping pill to fall asleep. This was his insomnia again, and it was also the first time he had taken sleeping pills, and he had secretly taken his family's medicine. After only sleeping for more than 4 hours, he woke up again, afraid to sleep more, for fear that the content of the review would be missed, and finally lost the score that should not be lost.
One night, as soon as Xiao Xin still closed his eyes, his brain kept spinning, unable to control himself from thinking about the exam. He was too afraid of failure, too afraid of failing again because he was not fully prepared as the previous year, and he was hesitant to prepare for another year and take the exam again in 2020.
Xiao Xin couldn't sleep, opened his mobile phone, and went through his friends list, but he couldn't find an object to talk to. In his eyes, everyone seems to have a better life than him, some friends have succeeded in taking the graduate school once, and they have not passed the exam twice; some friends have studied abroad; some friends have found good jobs and stayed in big cities. He was the only one who had no job and no school lost. Everyone was busy, and he was embarrassed to bother everyone.
Just when I sent a circle of friends dynamic, Xiao Xin knew that I had not yet slept, so he grabbed a life-saving straw and poured bitter water on me. Therefore, I learned about his journey to graduate school in recent years.
"Although you have not experienced graduate school and may not understand my situation, thank you for listening to me so much." Xiao Xin finished talking about his 2.5 examination and research experiences, probably feeling that he had delayed my rest time, which was a bit embarrassing.
"How to say it? Although I have not taken the graduate school, some of the reasons are the same. You know, I've been doing public accounts since I was in college..." I didn't understand the bitterness of the graduate school, and I couldn't comfort XiaoXin, so I talked about some of my own experiences. "Last year I changed companies and the boss asked me to do short videos. I've never done a short video, but I can't refuse, I can't say that I am not fully prepared, but I am not prepared at all, and I was driven to the shelves. I can only learn while doing, and use my previous experience as a public account to the new field of making short videos. ”
"You're also going to be ill-prepared."
"I don't know if you've ever watched 'Eating Men and Women'?"
"Nothing." Probably Xiao Xin didn't know why I turned sharply, "Typing" showed for a long time, he only returned a word to me.
"The old man inside once said that life cannot be like cooking, and all the ingredients are prepared before they get off the pot."
Xiao Xin seemed to be thinking and did not reply to me for a long time.
I continued: "There can't be a time when you're really ready, and if you don't think you're ready now, will you be ready next year?" You gave up your exams in the first year, and the second year you didn't have an inadequate preparation? Are you prepared to keep backing down? ”
"Well, if I can't pass the exam again, I can't always 'nibble on the old' at home, so I have to take the exam while working, which is more difficult." Xiao Xin seemed to be touched by this sentence.
"Then get a good night's sleep." Relax, be confident, bro! ”
"Thank you for this 'sleeping pill,' haha."
The chat between friends does not need to end with "good night", and at this point, we do not continue.
When I wrote this book, I did not ask Xiao Xin about his recent situation, but I only hoped that he could sleep peacefully that night, hoping that even if he was not ready this time, he could "stir-fry a table of delicacies".
Who is not being chased by the "evil wolf" of life? At this time, will you give up running because you are not wearing shoes? Either run wildly or be swallowed by the "evil wolf". So what to do? You can only run barefoot and hard, maybe you can run out of a way to live. There is no such thing as being well prepared, the key is not to do it, just act on it!
Life can't be like cooking, preparing all the ingredients before getting off the pot, after all, the adult world will not wait for you to be fully prepared.
4
I have led many teams, and in the process of management, I found that the most common mistake people make is that when they encounter a project, they want to write a report first and make a perfect plan first. When asked about his progress a week later, he would report that there were still places that were not ready, so they had not moved forward yet. In the industry, this is known as the "big company disease".
Of course, I am not telling everyone not to prepare, because if you think clearly about the direction and the essence of the problem, you can better solve the problem. But, a lot of the time, do you spend a lot of time on preparation? After the preparation, what is the actual progress of the project?
At this time, I usually let everyone ask the question directly, and if I judge that it is not a big problem, I will say, just do it, and do it to have an answer.
One of the underlying logics of my life is not to wait for everything to be ready, but to run in small steps and iterate quickly. There isn't that much time to prepare in the workplace, never wait. Completion is a thousand times more important than perfection, ten thousand times more important.
Many things, if you don't do it, you will feel that they are all problems and difficulties. Once you do it, you may find that these problems are not problems. You'll also encounter other new problems, so you just need to focus on how to solve the problems that actually arise.
As I write this, I am reminded of the lyrics of the band Five: All young people, young people, young people, I will tell you the problem when it arises!
All young people, let's get started!
Thinking on the Ground: Building Your "Minimized Execution Checklist"
In daily life, everyone has a more or less perfectionist tendency to do things the best at once, so they will always be prepared.
George Bernard Shaw said that a life of trying mistakes is not only more glorious than a life of doing nothing, but also more meaningful. Life does not need to be perfect, many times, completion is more important than perfection, and iterating in one completion after another is a proud progress.
You can try to build your own "minimized execution checklist" to counter your own perfectionism.
When you start doing something, you need to stop and ask yourself: What is a plan for this matter that is handy and not too complicated? This is actually the first thing you can write on the "minimization execution checklist", which can help you get one thing done the fastest and avoid spending time preparing and tangling.
For example, you need to clip a gameplay video. The first item on the checklist shouldn't be "Learn the Adobe Premiere software tutorial," as that would take a lot of time and not even benefit your video clips. The first item is very simple: first analyze what you want to cut the video into, and then disassemble it one by one, all you have to do is find a video that introduces the basic editing function of Adobe Premiere software to watch, and then learn specifically when you need to use a certain function. Learn while doing, first edit out the first version of the video that can be watched, and then optimize on this basis.
So, after receiving the daily tasks assigned by the leader, you can say, I start to prepare now and give a preliminary feedback tomorrow. Instead of saying, two weeks later the final plan will be handed over. You can use the urging and power of others to build the second, third, or even more items on your list and gradually improve them. In the process, your stress will also gradually decrease.
This article is transferred from the public number: HR Elite