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Procrastination plays a wonderful role in many people's lives.
Although many people say that they hate "procrastination", it is undeniable that procrastination does bring us some temporary pleasure.
This is also an important reason why procrastination is so common, because dragging things out is really quite "feeling good".
Unfortunately, this feeling usually doesn't last long, and the problems of the moment can quickly pull us back to reality, and due to the loss of time, the urgency of becoming stronger can make people's anxiety soar.
Procrastination is very common, but it is very difficult for many people to change procrastination.
Again, as the old saying goes, every change starts with knowing yourself.
Do you know the subconscious thoughts behind procrastination?
Of the following 4 types of procrastinators, which one do you belong to?
Power-type procrastinators
Symptoms: Personality self, is a kind of inner pursuit of many people in modern times. The so-called personality is actually a sense of power - only I can control my own life, and others have no right to point fingers at me. For power-type procrastinators, procrastination is in fact their way of reclaiming their rights.
Power-type procrastinators usually live in a harsh family environment. Parents often put forward some harsh requirements for them, and even show some extreme desire for control. They will continue to urge their children to do something they are not willing to do, and for their children, even if something is right, they will still use procrastination tactics to find their sense of control - you tell me to do it, I don't do it, my life is still in my own hands.
Causes of procrastination: For power procrastinators, procrastination is a way for them to get back to themselves. Because the outside world puts too much pressure on them to achieve, even if they know that it is indeed the right way to a successful life, but too much pressure will only make them want to escape. Procrastination gives them a sense of release and relief that they can use to counter these external oppressions.
Change your strategy: leave the high-pressure environment and regain your sense of control. In the matter of self-growth, many people will think that everything needs to be found from their own inner character. In fact, the influence of the outside world on a person's behavior is very large. In addition to changing ourselves, we also need to choose an environment that suits our growth. If the birth family makes you feel too much oppression, then it is also necessary to maintain appropriate social distancing with your parents. Make an objective assessment of your abilities, and if you are in a working environment that is far beyond your own challenge area, you can also consider changing jobs. We need to get out of our comfort zone, yes, challenge ourselves in the challenge zone. But if you think you've been in a panic zone for a long time, then changing the environment may be the right choice.
Perfectionist procrastinators
Symptoms: Many people have a certain plan in their brains before doing things. Perfectionist procrastinators tend to paint a beautiful picture of themselves before things start. However, when it started, it was destroyed by some details in the perfect imagination in his mind, and finally chose to avoid these "stains" with procrastination.
Causes of procrastination: Perfectionism, classified by the cognitive psychologist Burns as one of the ten common cognitive biases in life. Perfectionism prevails because a fixed mindset is secretly at work. People who think with a fixed mindset will equate themselves with their own performance, that is, if they are not perfect enough, they will think that they are a bad person. Unwilling to see their imperfections, they deceive themselves with procrastination.
Changing Strategies: For perfectionist procrastinators, developing a growth mindset is a very important thing. The growth mindset is to look at yourself with a developmental eye. Treat imperfection as part of your own experience, and treat self-growth as a process of fighting monsters and accumulating experience. Unlike a fixed mindset that centers on results, a growth mindset focuses on experience. How to switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is focused on releasing part of the absolute focus on the outcome to the focus on the process. Paying attention to the process can effectively reduce the level of anxiety, find the pleasure of this thing, whether it is teamwork or skill learning, can resist the procrastination brought about by perfectionism.
Avoid successful procrastinators
Symptoms: Psychologist Adler believes that the core of human life lies in obtaining a sense of superiority. With the evolution of civilization, the escape from social competition and the avoidance of competition have also become a source of superiority in some people's hearts.
Causes of procrastination: For this type of person, avoidance is a way for them to stay away from "war." Procrastinators who avoid success are often at heart a fighter for "peace". Allowing themselves to withdraw, not participating in the competition of others, and giving up these social resources to others is a source of self-feeling for them.
Changing strategies: For some people with enough life resources, avoiding success is really not a big deal. Maybe he does have a mine at home, and he can live his own little life without arguing. However, for many people, they obviously do not have so many resources, but they still always use a non-contentious mentality to demand themselves, and finally find themselves in a difficult dilemma. For this type of procrastinator, it is important to objectively evaluate their situation. Even if you are not willing to join the social competition, you must set yourself a personal growth goal. Growth does not necessarily require competition with others, Adler's sense of superiority is also a personal definition, and the pursuit of excellence is everyone's inner need.
Procrastinators who are afraid of rejection
Symptoms: Procrastination is also common in relationships. Passive mate selection is a common manifestation of this type of procrastinator. Unless the other party takes the initiative, he will never take the initiative to show kindness. When you encounter some work or other relationship problems, you will also fall into a sense of anxiety when you need to ask others for help or make requests.
The cause of procrastination: The fear of rejection is an instinctive reaction of people. Because everyone's survival is based on being accepted by others. Everyone is a child who needs to be fed by their parents when they are young, and if they are ignored and rejected by their parents, then survival is likely to face problems. In the family of origin, children who have received sufficient attention and care are often able to form a sufficient sense of security in interpersonal relationships. On the contrary, it is more likely to have fear and avoidance of interpersonal relationships.
Changing strategies: Self-acceptance is very important for procrastinators who avoid social interactions. Because the judgment of self-worth is too much dependent on others, it will be too concerned about what others think of themselves. Although we always talk about how to change ourselves, the behavior of "changing" is often accompanied by some deep self-loathing and anxiety. Don't rush to change yourself, take your attention back from others to yourself, pay attention to yourself, understand yourself, know and accept yourself, this is the best change.
Everyone faces many problems in their lives.
Procrastination is a way for us to gain instant pleasure.
Our bodies tend to favor things that are immediately pleasing to the point of neglecting those that have long-term value.
Happiness is important, and so is self-actualization.
The deepest reason why a person procrastinates is often caused by a lack of self-acceptance.
Knowing yourself is a valuable thing.
Everyone has a universe in their hearts, and if you explore it, you will find that you are far broader than you think.