Text/source says emotion
I've seen a story like this.
A woodcutter rescued an injured fox.
As a token of gratitude, the fox specially prepared a sumptuous dinner to entertain the woodcutter.
During the meal, one person and one fox get along very well.
But at the end of the scene, a sentence from the woodcutter provoked the fox to have a knot in his heart:
"Thank you for your hospitality, it's just that you smell so bad."
With that, the woodcutter fled away, leaving the fox in the same place.
Years later, when the woodcutter met the fox again on the mountain, he asked with concern:
"Well, your wounds have healed, haven't you?"
The fox replied:
"That injury didn't take long to heal, but what you said to me, I will never forget it for the rest of my life."
The woodcutter felt very surprised that his own casual words could become a wound for the fox for a lifetime.
In life, there are many people who interpret their recklessness and rudeness as speaking straight and having a true disposition.
As everyone knows, the release of the true self in your eyes will invisibly make the other party feel disgraced.
In this way, even the best relationship will be pushed farther and farther away by you, until it becomes your opposite.
Man wants a face, a tree wants bark, and if he hurts anything, don't hurt the face of others.
This is not a superficial effort, nor is it a bad culture, but a manifestation of respect for others.
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When it comes to face, many people will think of negative information such as "death to face and live to suffer".
But people who really understand human feelings and sophistication will not understand it so simply.
Face is actually a person's deep self-esteem needs.
You can not love face yourself, but you cannot not give face to others.
I've seen a chat history online before.
In the early hours of the morning, a man asked his aunt to borrow money.
It didn't take long for the other side to transfer the money happily and explain that he had just seen it.
For the help of his aunt, the man looked very touched and thanked him vigorously.
But the aunt did not make a polite remark to him, but bluntly criticized:
"Didn't I say that you are such an adult, you don't even have a few thousand dollars on your body, and you are too bad to mix, right?"
What is the use of always looking for help from others, you have to fight for breath yourself, and you must have the ability. ”
Originally, we could have understood this passage as a kind exhortation from the elders to the younger generations.
But in the eyes of the person concerned, this sentence is like a thorn, poking at the soft underbelly of his heart.
The man first returned the transfer from his aunt, and then said very politely:
"Auntie thank you, I don't need it here."
In this world, everyone has difficulties that are inconvenient to talk about, and no one is willing to admit that they are weak.
At this time, if you still give a "blow" like your aunt, this is undoubtedly worse for the parties.
Instead of that, it's better not to help.
Rather than be ashamed, the man's behavior is the best interpretation of this sentence.
Man is like this, with face, he will be happy; without face, he will be uncomfortable.
Taking more care of other people's faces is good for both sides.
On the contrary, even the best relationship will become distant and may even become enemies.
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Some people say that when you walk around the world often, you must learn to give others a long face.
Don't let others bargain, let others have a light on their faces, is a rare wisdom of life.
I saw an example in a book.
When Sister Zhang saw that her friend had bought a very beautiful dress, she couldn't help but exclaim:
"Wow, your dress is so beautiful, it cost a lot of money, right?"
Hearing that Sister Zhang agreed with her own vision, the friend replied happily:
"Hey, guess what."
Sister Zhang actually understands the market very well, and has seen this dress before, so she knows the specific price.
She knew in her heart that the dress could be bought for two to three hundred dollars, but she still said:
"The material is so good, plus it is a popular model, at least about five hundred."
The friend was even happier when he heard it, and he smiled and closed his mouth:
"Haha, I didn't expect it, I bought it for two hundred yuan."
Sister Zhang gave a thumbs up and continued to admire:
"There really is yours, next time I go shopping for clothes, I have to call you and help me bargain."
Sister Zhang deliberately raised the price of clothes to make friends feel a sense of accomplishment, which is why she was so happy.
If she tells the truth, it may cause dissatisfaction and hostility from friends.
This method of dealing with the world by Sister Zhang is worth learning from each of us.
If you want to make a person happy, you should learn to make the other person's face light.
The purpose of this is not only for others, but also for their own harvest of more harmonious interpersonal relationships.
Without unnecessary contradictions and conflicts, your life path will naturally become wider and wider.
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I've seen a question online called "What kind of person do you hate the most?" ”
One of the high-ranking people replied:
"People who like to talk at length in front of others, but don't like others like the same."
Imagine that when you speak, no one wants to listen;
When you want to talk about your inner pain, no one cares,
What would it be like?
No one in this world can endure the pain of being slighted and disrespected.
This means that in order to be valued and respected by others, you must first learn to let others feel the same way.
The famous writer Carnegie once shared an experience of his own.
At a banquet, he met a botanist he had never met before.
In the face of the other party's talk, Carnegie, although he did not understand this knowledge, still listened to him with great interest.
After the show, the botanist praised the others:
"Mr. Carnegie is such a learned guy, he's the most interesting interlocutor I've ever met."
Recalling what the botanist had said about himself at the time, Carnegie laughed:
"Interesting interlocutor? This is not possible.
I just smiled when he said something interesting and nodded when he said something nice.
And express your doubts at the right time.
In general, I can make such an impression on him, but I am willing to listen to him. ”
Being willing to listen to the other person is not just a matter of giving or not giving face, but respect or not.
Knowledge in different fields may not be connected, but respect is a business card that connects each other's hearts.
Perhaps, everything about you is so obscure in the eyes of the other party,
But respect or not is something that can be obvious and easily perceived by the other party.
People are all mutual, and no one will give you face or even respect you for no reason.
This shows that if you want to change other people's perceptions and attitudes toward you, you must first learn to change yourself.
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The ancients said: "Scolding people does not reveal shortcomings, and hitting people does not hit their faces." ”
This means that even if you scold and beat people, you must take care of the face and dignity of others.
Maybe we don't have the gentlemanly demeanor of the ancients,
But when there is no conflict with people, at least we can understand this truth:
Taking care of other people's faces, you gain not only the same attitude, but also a relatively smooth life path.
To perfect others is to perfect oneself; to respect others is also to respect oneself.
I am the source said, a focus on self-growth of the writing of mengxin, welcome to pay attention.