The rapid development of modern society and the rapid transformation are overwhelming. Today, it seems that it is difficult to meet people who are not anxious, and there are individual physiological factors, psychological factors and social factors that produce anxiety. Although the causes are different and the specific objects of anxiety are different, the current situation of anxiety is common.
Of all anxiety, there is one anxiety that is widespread and pervasive, and which is particularly contagious. This is educational anxiety. In the present, becoming a parent, if you are not firm in your heart and can have a keen ability to discern external affairs, this anxiety may easily infect you, obviously affect your emotions and mentality, and then make less appropriate and rational words and deeds.
First of all, before exploring educational anxiety, let's first understand what anxiety is:
Psychologically, the essence of anxiety is a kind of fear, the crux of uneasiness that arises from the lack of basis or lack of understanding of objective causes--- all emotions are just external reflections of the inner state of the mind. Because it is beyond the scope of psychological tolerance or objective control, we have a normal or excessive emotional response.
Another characteristic of anxiety is that the receptor is very painful, but outsiders cannot detect it.
Although anxiety is also a fear, it is different from fear. Anxiety is a focus on future threats, while fear is a strong emotional response to an immediate threat or danger. For example, a girl is afraid of snakes, and when she sees a snake, she screams and runs away quickly. That's fear.
Proper anxiety, that is, low to medium levels of anxiety, can give you the motivation to get things done, and without anxiety, many planned tasks may not be successfully completed. In the normal state, the low or medium degree of anxiety is a reasonable emotional response, but if the individual lacks understanding of objective factors, there is a state of extreme uneasiness and expectation, and there is a sense of fear and threat for unknown reasons, a person will enter a pathological state of anxiety.
Anxiety that exceeds the low to medium levels can become an emotional killer. It even evolved into pathological anxiety. Pathological anxiety is manifested by anxiety, nervousness and sensitivity, restless behavior, accompanied by palpitations, sweating, cold limbs and other symptoms.
Unlike physical health anxiety, work money anxiety, environmental anxiety or specific anxiety, educational anxiety is arguably the most unique of many anxiety situations and the most widely audienceed. Educational anxiety basically makes parents at all stages unavoidable, but the degree is different. The specific problems of parental anxiety at different stages vary:
The educational problems of parents in the early stage of kindergarten and the lower primary school are mainly: can the early childhood articulation? Do you learn pinyin? When do you study Olympiad and what kind of classes do you apply for? Is it backwards not to learn these things? The anxiety of the parents of junior high school students is: the anxiety of the examination ranking (entering junior high school there are weekly examinations, monthly examinations, and semi-term examinations at the end of the unified examination are all to be ranked), can you go to high school, or go to a key high school? How is the parent-child relationship broken? How to manage mobile phones? The anxiety of parents of high school students is whether they can get one or two books? What exactly is the major? Can your child's health survive? Or can you successfully participate in the college entrance examination?
Regardless of the specific problem of anxiety, the causes of general anxiety in parents at present, according to observation and analysis, are mainly the following three points:
Anxiety arising from the unpredictability of the unknown world
People are generally afraid of the risk of uncertainty, and anxiety is easy to arise once things are out of their control, or there is not something certain enough to keep the person calm. Therefore, for parents, for the child's future way out, there is a general anxiety, plus the current intention of China's middle school entrance examination diversion is very obvious, the high school to university promotion rate is also very low, 985, 211 is so much, the competition is also very fierce. Parents will naturally feel that there is no good way out if they can't get into high school or prestigious school. Or is it that if the child applies for this major, will there be a future in the future?
So when you think of an unpredictable future, or if you count the proportion of college admissions, you have all kinds of irrepressible anxiety about the status quo.
Second, anxiety caused by people around them and information around them
As we all know, there are many social information channels now, open the mobile phone, it is all kinds of push, and then there are various groups, every day non-stop to push you a variety of messages. A lot of anxiety is born of this, for example, in a certain group, it is said that a certain child passed the Cambridge PET exam in the 3rd grade, and his own child's classmates have entered the super class with what grades they have learned. So-and-so, what school was locked in advance. Then who is who, and how much knowledge has been learned in advance.... Other people's children have successfully entered the ideal university all the way, and then successfully guaranteed research, hey, how can other people's children be so worry-free?
In fact, there is no harm without comparison, and anxiety cannot be talked about, precisely because through various information channels, too much information is learned, a comparison, so anxiety is inevitable.
In fact, how other people behave doesn't have much to do with ourselves, because I and my children are not others. The road of me and my children will eventually be deployed and implemented according to our actual situation.
Third, anxiety stemming from one's own desires
The catalyst for anxiety ----- desire.
In one survey, 70% of parents were overly demanding of their children's academic performance. On the one hand, it is too hasty and always tries to blow chaff and see rice; on the other hand, there is a lack of clear understanding of the child's individual situation and the overall academic competitive environment, and the requirements for children stay more on their own unilateral subjective understanding.
Just asking children to be excellent and outstanding, parents themselves listen to the wind is rain, and if they are "light", it is obviously difficult to create a stable environment and mood for children. Just like the view of a senior English teacher: on the way to learning, we must "ignore the gossip of others", live our own plans and principles, be emotionally stable, not toss, and be able to achieve great results. Often compared, panicked, no concentration, then how to expect students to have a big success in the future.
Therefore, if there is a preliminary understanding of the nature, harm and basic causes of anxiety, then there is a preliminary idea for combating anxiety. Maybe facing children will reduce unnecessary anxiety and give them more practical support.
Attached: Rapid Diagnosis of Anxiety (there are 20 questions below, answer "yes" is worth 1 point, answer "no" is counted as 0 points):
1. Are you often plagued by some small problems? For example, indigestion, allergies, etc., and feel distressed because of it?
2. Are you less tolerant of noise?
3. Are you often provoked, especially for small things?
4. Are you upset and worried when something goes wrong or you have a setback?
5. Do you ever get trepidated when you're being teased?
6. Do you have a manifestation of obsessive-compulsive disorder, such as going out or before going to bed, you have to repeatedly check whether the doors, windows, and gas valves are closed?
7. Do you feel nervous before going out for a social event like a dinner, a meeting, or more, even if it's not important?
8. Do you prepare for a few hours before a guest comes to your home?
9. Do you often blush and be shy in social situations?
10. Are you afraid to meet new people?
11. Do you regularly take calming medications to calm yourself down and form a certain dependence?
12. Do you have some egoism?
13. Do you experience a shaky voice when you're angry or nervous?
14. Do you often feel inferior to others?
15. Can you quickly relax yourself when you are nervous?
16. Are you feeling annoyed more easily than others?
17. Are you always uneasy about something?
18. Are you fidgeting easily, even when nothing happens?
19. Do you have a recurring sense of panic, such as worrying about the passage of time?
20. Do you have a strong sense of uneasiness, such as fear of an earthquake or other disaster, so much so that you have everything important in place and ready to evacuate?
Please take a self-test according to your actual situation, answer the questions honestly, and then count the scores:
A score below 3 indicates that you have a good mindset.
A score between 4 and 9 indicates that you have good self-control over your emotions, but you still have occasional anxiety, but it's easy to self-repair.
A score above 10 indicates that you are too anxious about your life and have reached the point where you must adjust.
(This article on the psychological definition of anxiety and anxiety self-testing refers to "Life Without Anxiety" Martin M. Anthony (Canada), Peter J Norton (USA); "Why You Are Always Anxious" Plateau )