On September 7, Taiwan media broke the news that Guo Caijie and her gossip boyfriend Eder broke up.
The two were originally going to perform together, and now the name idyllic has been removed from the brochure.
The news came out and the whole network applauded. Eder has too much black history, has been exposed to about P, since the two are together, the whole network is advising Guo Caijie to "polish his eyes".
But Guo Caijie seems to have been deceived, not only revealing in the show that she has taken off the list, showing love to Edel on social platforms, but also buying a house for Edel's parents.
This rhythm, proper "running to get married". But people are doing, the sky is watching, at the end of August, a girl broke the news in Douban: Eder tricked women into sucking D!
During his relationship with the girl, Edel did a lot of disgusting things:
Rhetoric, cold violence, flirting with girls, disrespecting people, slandering girls behind their backs...
Worst of all, he let the girl take the state's new drug on the grounds of "showing you something funny", completely ignoring her mild depression.
Once exposed, more truths are revealed to the world. One after another, girls stood up and posted chat records, which was bound to hammer Eder to death.
As a woman, I understand this feeling too well: I don't know people clearly, I have been disappointed, how deeply I have been hurt, and how angry I am now.
There is also some helplessness: knowing today, why didn't you see the true face of the scumbag in the first place?
Playing the archway of affection, doing destructive deeds;
Say you love you, and think about how to use you;
Before marriage, you are stalked, and after marriage, you are like hiding from the plague god;
……
These are the "two faces" common to scumbags. As long as the bad face is hidden deeper, it is actually a very easy thing to confuse others with a good face.
After all, who doesn't love a loving, gentle, considerate lover?
The scumbag is difficult to distinguish, and the difficulty is to see through his badness. When a girl encounters love, the pores of the whole body are emitted with sensual hormones, rationality retreats to the second line, and there is no motivation to expose the boy's "bottom card".
In this case, how do we identify the scumbag?
According to the different cards, scumbags can be divided into three categories: childish scumbags, hypocritical scumbags, and black hole scumbags.
The solipsistic giant baby: the childish scumbag
In the movie "Enemies of the Whole People", Will Smith plays a love field master who teaches people to be a girl, and he has an almost perfect theory that can help men get their sweethearts in three dates.
But an accident happened: he was in love.
The smell of love made him scramble, he became clumsy, became desperate to get the girl's favor, became like his clients, "would rather be hit by a car and jump off the stairs so that I don't think about him." ”
At this moment, he ended the opportunistic trick of the "scumbag" and returned to the process that normal men must go through: learning to love and being loved, and becoming truly mature.
The naïve scumbag is a stage in the psychological development of men. Adolescents have a strong "personal myth" mentality, they think that they are unique and extraordinary, and others should like him.
This kind of man, the scum is slagged in "narcissism".
For example, deliberately snubbing the lover to prove that she loves herself;
Scolding your girlfriend in front of your friends and proving yourself to be manly;
Treat your girlfriend as a mother, and ask her to satisfy herself unconditionally from three to four virtues...
They are like seeds, growing by absorbing the self-esteem and self-confidence of lovers, but they do not bear fruit. Over time, love has worn out, and women's sense of value has been consumed.
Childish scumbags, like Peter Pan in Neverland, who don't want to grow up or get hurt, are still little boys.
In order to satisfy narcissism, he will wear all kinds of social masks to beautify himself: polite, strong and steady, charming, evil and crazy...
The simple girl will be confused by these masks, thinking that he "looks beautiful", but the childish scumbag is actually very easy to distinguish: too much attention to the outside, always bragging about himself.
A good relationship requires patience on both sides. No matter how gentlemanly he is and how gentle his temper is, the man who only considers his own feelings in everything is empty inside and is not worth the girl's efforts for him.
Selfish actor: Hypocritical scumbag
If childish scumbags are harmless, another type of hypocritical scumbag is much more frightening because they know human nature well.
They know that sincerity can't pry open a girl's heart, but a cup of hot milk tea in winter can do; self-discipline and self-improvement can't get the girl's favor, but stalking can be.
Some time ago, there was a news: a middle-aged woman because her husband wanted to "divorce", looking for emotional column adjustment, hoping that her husband could return to the family.
The program team's investigation found that the two were not married at all!
The man chased after her and asked her to live with him, but for various reasons he did not get a license, only to let his girlfriend serve his old mother. Now that men have other new loves, they want to kick their girlfriends.
Women can't take it anyway, saying "I don't divide, I'm in too much pain". She couldn't understand how she had loved her so much, but now she had become so cold.
The woman meets a hypocritical scumbag. They are good at acting, even if they don't have a little love in their hearts, they can pretend to be affectionate.
He Jiong once said:
If you meet someone who is too perfect and fits in with you, then you have to be careful because there is no such person. He may be approaching you with a purpose.
To distinguish such a man, to polish your eyes, remember a word: steady!
When you meet a perfect man, don't rush to be hot, don't rush into the relationship, stabilize your heart and don't waver.
If he is true love, leaving more reason for himself can better manage the relationship; if he is a scumbag, your calmness is the best umbrella.
Hypocritical men are well versed in human nature, but they are selfish in their bones. In the face of women with independent opinions, they know that there is no cheap to take advantage of, and they will retreat from difficulties.
The indefatigable scourge of destruction: the black hole type scumbag
The first two scumbags have some common traits; narcissistic selfishness, insatiable greed, lack of empathy... In addition to these qualities, there is also an important trait: the mentality is extreme, black and white.
Their favorite words were: "If you leave me, I will die"; "You are a terrible woman, no one but me will want you"; "You must obey all my arrangements".
"Black holes" can swallow all light sources, and the negative energy in them is not just negative pessimism, but a kind of "dead energy".
Just like An Jiahe in "Don't Talk to Strangers", he will stare at his wife with gloomy eyes, and once out of control, he will violently abuse her, as if to kill her.
Where does this "dead energy" come from? Psychologist Klein believes that infants and young children have two objects in their hearts: good objects and bad objects. The black hole type scumbag has too many bad objects in his heart.
Object refers to the reference object that carries our inner feelings, such as the mother's kindness and kindness, always giving us good feelings, which increases the good object in our hearts;
The mother's rough and indifferent always makes us uneasy and anxious, and the bad object will follow.
Black hole-type scumbags often have a bad childhood, and their inner good objects are too weak to support them to trust others; bad objects are too turbulent, making them easily feel lonely and desperate.
In intimate relationships, the black hole type scumbag is the most terrible. They can't establish safe links, always feel that their lovers will betray and abandon them at any time, and in order to avoid this situation, they will stop at nothing to control their lovers.
This is not love, but an emotional kidnapping, emotional blackmail.
If you find that the lover has extreme behavior, do not blindly believe his mouth "I love you too much to be like this", stay away as soon as possible, withdraw, in order to preserve their happiness.
Write at the end:
Junichi Watanabe wrote in "The Man Thing":
Don't pay too much attention to him, don't pay too much attention to him; do what you should do, manage what you should manage, create a warm atmosphere of life, let the home become a haven of tranquility, and good men will come to seek rest.
Good feelings, the focus is not on meeting the perfect lover, but on whether you have the ability to create a perfect relationship.
Whenever you hear a man say "I love you" to you, don't rush to understand it as a revelation of true feelings, and think about whether both parties are like-minded and sincere.
If you feel that something is wrong, trust your instincts, because in the future intimate relationship, you will fall into a long uneasiness because of this wrong.
In this lifetime, we will pass by millions of people, but only a few people are worth getting close to. Finding these people tests the ability to recognize people; whether we can finally work with whom for a lifetime test our ability to be happy.
Knowing how to identify scumbags is only the first step in encountering love, and if you want to live this life well, you still have to learn how to manage happiness.