The heroine of the Korean movie "Dancing Queen" Is young and likes to sing and dance, and her dream is to be a singer. Later, she got married and had children, and helped her husband survive several years of judicial examinations, and after her husband worked, he became a kennai helper, and her dream of becoming a singer was also dusty. Even if her friend later pulled her to the competition, she planned to give up because she had a lot of scruples.
Once, Yan Zhenghua took her daughter Yanyu to her grandmother's house and saw her mother's pickled small dish, which was her husband's favorite food, and she was happy in her heart, and she was ready to take it home, probably the happiest thing.
Yan Yu wrote an essay next to it, entitled "My Dream". Grandma asked her, "What is your dream?" Being a civil servant? ”
Yan Yu replied, "Well, they all say that civil servants are the best jobs." ”
Grandma advised her: "Flight attendant, female president or something, how's it going?" ”
Yan Yu said, "What is so good in the world?!" Grandma asked doubtfully, "What?" ”
The child looked at her mother and said helplessly: "My mother said that she dreams of being a singer, but look at her now, I don't want to live like my mother." ”
Probably in the child's heart, after growing up, it is still the same as the mother's current life, what dreams you want, anyway, you can't achieve it, it is better to choose a safe job.
This sentence touched yan Zhenghua's heart, and she went to the draft without her husband and became a singer. Finally, when her husband gave up her dream because she wanted to participate in the election, Yan Zhenghua said: "Do you know what Yanyu said?" Saying that you don't want to live like me, do you hope that we Yan Yu will have no dreams and hopes in her life, and only be a man's virtuous helper? ”
Some people say that the family is a photocopier, the parents are the originals, and the children are the copies. What parents look like in the eyes of their children will almost always be like that when they grow up. If you want to modify the photocopy, do you have to start by modifying the original?
In the end, Yan Zhenghua still set an example for the child, and told Yanyu with her own actions that there will be more possibilities in life, and do not give up the hope and dream of life.
The ancients said: "His body is upright, and he does not act according to orders; his body is not right, although he does not obey orders"
I remember a friend saying to me that when my son was so angry that she couldn't do it, she would blurt out, "Beat you!" Then after a while, when she suddenly found that her son was not satisfied, she would also say" to "beat you." From then on, she realized that she had to change this problem.
Teach by example, be a good example for children, and high-quality originals can naturally get good copies.
Of course, teaching by example is not just a simple statement, but to make the child feel deeply. Some things, if parents can't do it themselves, don't force their children, that will probably only backfire.
I think there are a lot of parents who have said to their children that playing with their phones is bad for their eyes. For the good of the child, this is beyond doubt, but turned his head and began to brush videos and play chicken. This will confuse the child, if it is so bad, why are you so happy? Why can't I have that kind of happiness?
On the other hand, if parents always go home, in addition to accompanying their children to read books, cultivate some interest to improve themselves, and put down their mobile phones with their children, I think that under such influence, they will also grow into as good as you.
Many parents have read a lot of books about education in order to learn how to teach their children well, and they are well aware of various theories, but they still can't teach their children well.
Children are all independent individuals with their own thoughts, and there may be some general theories that don't work for your child, but there are things that definitely work.
I remember watching an interview with Gong Hanlin and talking about him and Jinzhu educating his son, he said that parents are the first teachers of children, and the family is the first classroom of children. The parents in the eyes of the child must be his role models, whether they are good or bad. If the parents do well, the children will naturally be good, the parents do not do well, the children will learn badly, and it is important to be a role model for the children.
He also shared a small story in the program: adults go to work from nine to five, but children need to get up early to go to school. Once, the child put on his clothes and prepared to go to school, they were still sleeping, the child opened the door to see that his parents were still asleep, said you are very suitable, you can sleep casually, I still have to go to school. The next day, the two of them immediately corrected themselves and got up with the children to cook and eat.
They correct their behavior to tell children that we are all the same, so don't be repulsive to getting up early for school. He believes that education, one is to teach by example than to speak, and the other is to be with children.
The so-called family education, I think it must be the interaction between parents and children, if only unilaterally ask children to do something, do not act, then such education is flawed, incomplete.
Many people say that when looking for a partner, you must look at what his parents are like, and you can probably know what kind of character this person is, which is not unreasonable.
I once read a story that the girl found a boyfriend, and her uncle said that she should go to see her parents when she met her parents. During the meal, he found that the man's father had been paying attention to his mother's dinner plate, worried that she would not have enough to eat, and when his wife went out to answer the phone, he also reminded her to put on a coat and not get cold. Later, the uncle said to the girl, marry, this boy will hurt you and love you. The girl asked the reason, and the uncle said: Look at his parents' kindness and love, and treat each other with courtesy, you know that the child is not bad.
Similarly, Hu Ge also talked about the influence of his parents on him in the interview, he said that when he was a child, he received an advertisement of 1,000 yuan, which was very happy, it was a huge amount of money for him, and he was very excited to go home and tell his parents about it, and his parents just calmly said: "Oh, well, you have earned money and saved it yourself." ”
He said that the impact of this incident on him afterwards was that he could maintain a normal heart in terms of money, not to be tempted and pulled by money, but to treat it calmly and rationally.
Parents to children, really from small to large, children on the road to the future, no matter what happens, there will be the shadow of parents. Only if the parents do a good job, it will affect the child to have a rough outline of the future self, and they will not make a mistake in carefully depicting their lives in this good outline.
When Dong Qing participated in the "Face to Face" program, she once said that "I am very confused and do not know how to face the growth of my children."
Later, it was a sentence from a friend that made her suddenly wake up: "In fact, what kind of person you want your child to become, it is very simple, you will be what kind of person you want to be." So I always felt that I should still try very hard to make myself better. ”
This sentence is also borrowed and given to all parents, and everyone encourages it. Become an excellent self and exist as an example on the road of children's growth.