Live at the bottom and don't let your child be too sensible

After a few days of overtime, in this gray and frozen weather where people are curled up, there is no kung fu to lie flat and drink tea, to start the right party A's father's Barabala, to mix into the parents of the people around them, and the worldly. Only in the dead of night do I want to find a tree hole to hold my soul and follow this unsatisfactory person. Haha, the cheerful smile of adults, a thousand gold does not change ah!

Master Didi leaned out of the window and asked if I could temporarily enter the bus lane on the side of the parking lot, and the novice female driver was always so cautious that I quickly stepped up to meet me. Perhaps seeing that the destination is near a training center, the driver opened the conversation box and said that he had a sensible daughter who was in the second year of high school, but recently refused to enter the key class, threatening that he would not be able to survive the pressure of repeat reading. As a mother, I always worry about my children's stomach, and the way I am nagging reminds me of my mother's appearance when I was sleeping and eating, which is very moving. With family children, no one dares to be the teenager before, for the ordinary life is already doing their best, smoothing their faces, kneeling in the dust to ensure their stable life,

The driver said that her daughter was too sensible since she was a child, so that her mother could eat, never went out during the holidays, taught herself to cook, and would subsidize her small living expenses to try to give her mother soup and vegetables. He never volunteered for pocket money, did not attend class outings and birthday parties, did not attend make-up classes, and went to a regular middle school near his home for scholarships and subsidies. The little girl's grades are very good, but every time the exam is over, she will ask the teachers of each subject for answers to the results, even if it is a small exam, she will always worry, what if my mother fails the exam. So much so that for so many imaginary fears and the care of the class teacher, they are reluctant to enter the newly established rocket class and stay in the original ordinary class. The ordinary class did not suppress the fear of madness, and the little girl began to be frightened, what if I did not pass the exam to repeat the study!

At the beginning, I also thought that the parents were too concerned about the child's grades, and the pressure given by the parents was too great, because the child would tell the teacher that if the test was not good, even the mother could not pass the pass, but the driver said that she had never asked for her daughter's grades, and would not blame the child for not doing well. I understood that it was the child who invisibly put a tight curse on herself, using her understanding of understanding to fantasize about grinding away all her egos, putting on the way her imagined mother liked, removing innocence, desire, and self, and trapping herself in a condom. Every child is an angel, and they lie on the clouds and secretly choose their mother, because they see you and throw themselves into you without hesitation. But child, your mother is not so deep and thick love for you, she hopes you are happy, hopes that you live in the love of Kelsang flowers, not to blindly understand things!

The child loves the mother, she is willing to give everything to the mother to keep a copy, but the child you cower and hide behind the crowd how painful the mother is! In order to save money, the little girl herself does not hold a birthday party or participate in the banquet of her classmates, does not take the initiative to ask for gifts or give gifts, although she has applied for a class cadre, in addition to the good grades and take the initiative to help the teacher share, there are few well-connected classmates who can enter her life. Because the girls in the same class like her male table, and she also likes to interact with the same table, the female classmates wrote her a note warning, the little girl will only cry home as if she made a mistake, she is afraid of not having the friendship of the same window, afraid that she really hinders the unrequited love of others. I asked the driver how you handled it, and she said that she planned to let her daughter change to the same table, whether she had any ideas about the male table, the girl must know that early love is absolutely forbidden. The driver said that school was about to start, the whole holiday girl in order to make a hot meal for herself did not go out, she wanted to take the child to eat please let go, the girl was not willing to go. In the daily communication with the daughter, she always blames herself for not having culture, the girl says that she does not understand anything, nor can she guide the child, and the girl will refuse to continue to communicate because her mother does not understand. The driver lamented several times in a row that his lack of culture caused the need not to guide the child, not to enter the child's world, not to guide the child, and not to keep up with the child to talk about the past and the present. And busy with their livelihood, in addition to being able to provide children with reading and eating, they have no additional ability to provide other entertainment and practical activities.

In the conversation with the driver master, I did not have a sense of superiority brought by academic qualifications, I just felt a deep inferiority and cowardice from a mother! The environment and era in which children grow up determine the thoughts and life of two generations, and we must face up to and accept this difference, not with academic qualifications to enter the world of children. It is not to be able to live a good life by keeping up with the historical classics in the books, life is a realistic and detailed life textbook. Because the mother gives too many negative hints to herself, the mother's inferiority of the child she understands, so this over-emphasis on inferiority also brings the child's gray cognition, perhaps I said it in vain, you do not understand! Because you have no culture, all the confusion I encounter in my life is because my mother's lack of education can not give me good advice and help, I am not willing to say one more word to you, mention one more thing! However, the chai rice oil and salt of life are more often not needed to embellish the spices of science and art, and the simple and simple pots and pans have nothing to do with academic qualifications!

The driver just praised to me that the child did not make up lessons since he was a child, and did not spend a penny of tutor money. There are many children who are talented and do not need to take cultural lessons, but if the little girl likes to sing and dance, likes to draw musical instruments, and wants to see the outside world, she should also create conditions to expand her vision and thinking as much as possible. Because the child is too sensible, she will retreat from inferiority when encountering literary performances, she will take the initiative to refuse in front of everything that needs money, and she will consider taking the initiative to tell herself that I am not worthy because I still have to save my mother a penny! Adolescents face their own emotional confusion can not be channeled but worry that they have made a big mistake, I should not have a heartbeat! I can't attend class reunions or dinners because I can't spend money on gifts, I shouldn't receive gifts, and I shouldn't burden my mom! I can't go to the rocket class, on the one hand, because there is no Olympiad foundation, on the other hand, the ordinary class Teacher Li can continue to give me free tuition after class! Because I never dare to accept people and things that are higher than my vision, when I encounter things in a higher dimension, I will subconsciously tell myself that I am not worthy! Even because of his understanding, to take on the role of a savior, in the face of countless garbage people and things!

Nearly forty minutes by car, I only heard the child's mother say that she was married as a mother at the age of 20, but she did not say anything about the child's father. I tentatively suggested that she could adjust through family interaction, let her children touch the outside through family group parent-child travel, gradually open her own social network through parental accompaniment in family gatherings, and promote parent-child relationships by increasing play and effective companionship. But the driver only said that he had considered bringing his own children when he went out with a few female friends, and he still did not mention it for the child's father. In the era when the divorce rate is soaring, I don't break the casserole to ask whether it is a single mother, why the child has to cook for the mother to eat by himself, why he wants to accompany his mother to be afraid that his mother is lonely. Life is not easy, running around, do not want to ask some brain-dead questions about why not eat meat, only wish the girl and her mother a stable life. May the little girl not be so sensible, be her innocent self, have her own young time, have the courage to accept everything in life, and move forward calmly. This society needs to be more and more frustrated and courageous, but I hope that you will be brave to be yourself at the best age, because in addition to understanding things, you also have to enter the society, integrate into the group, and dare to fight your side wonderful, the world is worth it!