In the adult world, love is only a part of life, but in the child's world, love is all he is. Whoever takes him to school, who shows him up in time when he needs it, who makes him breakfast, who accompanies him to do handicrafts, he knows who loves him, and the child will give back the love you give in the most straightforward way
The American film "Mr. and Mrs. Kramer", which was filmed in 1979, was highly sought after once it was released, and the praise was overwhelming, in addition to the undoubted strength of the two leading actors, the performance of the young actors in the film was also quite substitutionary, and it is said that the divorce rate in the United States was reduced after the film was broadcast.
Looking at the essence through the phenomenon, one of the reasons is that this movie just reflects the background of the times, when the family and emotional problems that plagued people at that time, so there will be so many resonances and repercussions, which shows that the indoctrination role of good movies is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.
The plot of the film is not complicated.
Ted and Joanna have been married for 8 years, living a traditional family life of male and female protagonist, and a 5-year-old boy Billy. The days seemed happy and peaceful on the surface, but the sudden decision of his wife Joanna broke the peaceful life.
She told Ted that she was leaving the house. The mechanical repetition of the day suffocated her, the idea of going out to work was repeatedly denied by her husband, and even ruthlessly laughed at, this depressed and depressed life she could not continue, and wanted to divorce him.
After explaining the family affairs, Joanna resolutely left.
The sudden withdrawal of his wife makes Ted, who has not taken care of children, has no experience in housework, and has to go to work every day, make his life jump and jump, and he is at a loss.
A week after leaving the house, Joanna sent a letter to her son explaining to Billy the reason for leaving, but the adults could not understand the children, so he was depressed.
He has been taken care of by his mother since he was born, and his mother has given him meticulous love and care, and he is very happy, but now his mother's departure has made him begin to doubt himself, thinking that he has made his mother angry.
Ted communicates with his wife's girlfriend, learns joanna's true thoughts and state of mind, and after many dissections and reflections, finally understands Joanna's behavior.
He explains to Billy that his mother's departure is not because of him, but because his father did not do a good job and wants his mother to be a wife of a certain kind, but that is not the life that his mother wants to live.
The father and son who untied the knot began to cooperate with each other, and the days that followed were like Billy learning to ride a bicycle, although crooked and shaky, but the riding process was full of laughter and laughter, and they found affection and love in their own way.
More than a year later, Joanna returned. She went to California and became a costume designer. She wants to take Billy away, which makes Ted very angry.
After a lawsuit, they lost their armor and were embarrassed, exposing their most embarrassing and helpless side to all those who had nothing to do with their lives, and while they were physically and mentally exhausted, they were also full of shame and powerlessness.
Joanna had a high education, a decent income, and the child was not yet an adult, so she eventually got custody of the child.
Ted was not convinced that he was only partially granted visitation rights and wanted to fight for custody again. But when the lawyer told him he had to call his son Billy as a witness, he had tears in his eyes and said, "I can't do that, no, I don't want that." ”
Joanna was coming to pick up Billy for her work in California, and Ted packed up all of her son's toys and belongings, made him one last breakfast, and hugged him tightly with a smile.
When the agreed time came, Joanna did not show up, and the last phone call called Ted downstairs.
She said tearfully, "I came to pick up my son and take him home, but suddenly realized that this was his home..."
The film runs through the whole process with love, Joanna and Ted's reason is the same, what can be done to make the child least hurt? The end of marriage does not mean that their love is a failure, mutual respect, mutual understanding, sincere companionship, is the best love and encouragement for children.
In the United States in the late 1970s, due to the political defeat in the Vietnam War and the Watergate incident, the economy declined, and the values of the younger generation were even more affected by the times, women went out of the house and participated in jobs in all walks of life, and a small number of highly educated women became among the leaders.
With the awakening of women's self-awareness, the liberation of the new era of thought is also reflected in the ordinary life of the world, and marriage is the most able to reflect this change.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > Joanna: My fate is in my own hands</h1>
The film tells many times about his wife Joanna's reluctance to be a traditional woman.
She was highly educated, capable of adapting to social competition, had a talent for fashion design, and the shackles of her unwillingness to live imprisoned her in her family. While her husband has always imposed on her the view that men earn money to support their families, women cook and raise children, her ideals are ruthlessly suppressed.
Times have changed dramatically, and women have the right to education, equally equal in human rights, and can choose what kind of life they want to live by working hard to achieve their ambitions.
Whether it's being a full-time housewife at home or going out to work all day, it's the result of voluntary choices, not the husband's wishes.
For Joanna, although the work will be very hard, the sense of accomplishment and self-worth recognition obtained from the work is far beyond the fatigue of the body, which is her pursuit and vision, but it is repeatedly ignored and beaten by her husband.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, Ted: male outside the female protagonist is reasonable</h1>
Ted was quite upset after his wife left home, he did not understand her radical behavior, did not know where he was wrong, and did not face Up to Joanna's inner desires.
He worked diligently and achieved little. He has no affair, does not abuse his wife, pays on time, loves his wife and protects his children, and he can't understand that his life will be so bad.
He disapproved of Joanna's desire to go out to work, but after communicating with his wife's girlfriend and deeply experiencing all the work of a stay-at-home mother, he began to reflect and think deeply. Gradually, he understood his wife's mood and her impulse to run away from home.
I have to say, Ted is a nice man. He knows empathy and is willing to understand and tolerate her choices. So he can calmly explain his mother's departure to his son and admit to his son that it was his father's mistake.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">三、泰德和乔安娜</h1>
To be honest, the two of them set an excellent example for parents who are fighting for custody of their children because of divorce.
In the eyes of many, Joanna's sudden departure is a bit impersonal, but the father never blames the mother in front of the child, nor does he give the child any hate education.
Because the father knows that if he keeps complaining about his mother in front of his children, it will be another disaster imposed on the helpless child. The most important thing for a son is to believe that both parents love him and that it is not his fault that his mother left.
As we all know, children often blame themselves for their parents' divorce, and this emotion, if not properly guided and effectively unblocked, will affect his formation of a healthy personality and recognition of self-worth, and childhood trauma is often the culprit of many mental illnesses.
Rational thinking, decent communication, is the greatest protection for children in divorce. The parents in the film do a good job of protecting their sons as much as possible.
However, the truth in reality is far more brutal and vicious, and the children of divorced families, no matter how old, are more or less traumatized. And some parents' cognition is also extremely lacking, the person who gave you warmth and love in the past has become a cathartic person who does not choose to speak, so that the child suffers multiple traumas.
The film not only reflects on the parent-child relationship, but also reflects on the marriage problem. The wife is not an appendage of the husband, she is not just the wife of others and the mother of the child, she is herself.
Her worth can be reflected in family, society and work, and family life is only a part of her whole self. For a long time, she did not get recognition and affirmation outside the family, and her thoughts that wanted to expand freely were imprisoned, so she suffered from depression, fortunately receiving effective psychological treatment.
In fact, as far as the Kramers are concerned, divorce is not an inevitable choice, they just need some time to consider and readjust their expectations of life.
As a parent, there is no training and examination, so the process is not satisfactory is the norm. I believe that as long as love is still there, a happy life will be not far ahead.