"Still have to believe", by Chen Luyu, published by Huacheng Publishing House
Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar wrote in his COVID-19 quarantine diary: "The quarantine is not much different from my daily life, I am still alone, always vigilant. It's not a happy discovery. "I live according to the rhythm of daylight shining into the windows and balconies." "I started to stop looking at the clock." "Now I've planned movie times, TV news times, and different reading times." "The only exercise is walking around the promenade of the house, which is Julieta Bergeron in Pain and Glory. Serrano and Antonio The promenade where Banderas walked. ”
Before the summer of 2020, I was in Beijing and had almost the same life as Almodóvar in Madrid. I was a little more lively than him, that is, I went downstairs every day to get takeaways, so I became an acquaintance with the security brother of the community.
Everything around was unusually slow and quiet, and even the circle of friends was no longer alive.
I was at home, reading, watching movies, eating, and doing housework. If the world hadn't been suffering, I wouldn't mind if the days had been flowing like this.
Suddenly, I had a lot of time in my hand to squander, so I watched Billy Lee again. Wilder, Woody M. Alan, Hitchcock, Diane M. Keaton, Meryl M. Streep, Mads M. Mickelson, Nora M. Works by Aphron, Kiki Shirin and others. The time that belongs to reading is given to Stephen M. Zweig, Li Juan, Vogel... and Vanity Fair, which doesn't have much nutrition but is extremely informative and interesting. As a bystander, understanding the world of others through light and shadow and words always makes me feel inexplicably at ease.
The first book with words in my life is probably at the age of three or four, I don't know a word, but I have a good memory, a nursery rhyme comic book listened to adults twice and remembered, every time I held a careful recitation of words, actually word for word, except for one word - the original text in the book I still remember, is "really lively in kindergarten", I must stubbornly read it in Shanghainese as "kindergarten is really busy". Soon, the four masterpieces came.
The way I opened the famous works was to read comic strips, and listen to the broadcasts and commentaries of Liu Lanfang, Yuan Kuocheng, and Cao Can, and finally read the original works. The 1981 edition of the "Dream of the Red Chamber" villain book, the exquisite depiction of the characters and the condensation of the text, are absolutely excellent. I read that set of books so many times that when I watched the 1987 version of the TV series "Dream of the Red Chamber", I always felt that it was based on the comic strip of the same name, and even the character selection was so divine. Later, in the middle school classroom and dormitory, after the lights went out, they shone with flashlights, reading Sanmao, Qiong Yao, Liang Yusheng, Arthur M. Haley, and a thick book of Concise Philosophy that my classmates were reading but I couldn't read.
On the first day of school, I borrowed my first English book from the Library of guangyuan, which is now the Communication University of China, called "Laugh Till It Hurts", which is a famous American comedian and singer Carol Lee. Burnett's autobiography. In my perception at that time, writing books was something that great people like Tolstoy and Cao Xueqin could do, and having an autobiography was the exclusive domain of great people. So, I thought That Carol Burnett is a superstar who has never been seen before in the United States, and he specifically asked my American foreign teacher, and the young man in his twenties shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, she's quite famous." "Say it lightly, is that all?
Chen Luyu
Growing up in the 1980s, children are very happy, literature and movies are developing vigorously, my mother and I rushed to see "October", "Harvest", "Contemporary", "Yilin", and so many movies - "Sand Gull", "Sunset Street", "Zhenzhen's Hair House", "Yamaha Fish Stall", "Female College Dormitory", "Long Live Youth", "Middle-aged", "Girl in Red", "Popular Red Dress on the Street"... An ignorant little girl learns about the fiery life through the screen. In 1985, after watching "Red Sorghum" in the auditorium of Tsinghua University, for a whole week, my eyes were all red. In 1992, at the entrance of a theater in Wangfujing, after the end of "Sunny Days", I also stood on the side of the street for half a day and could not return to God. In 2000, I went to Zhongguancun to see the premiere of "New Year's Home" and loved it.
Last summer, Liu Lin also mentioned this matter, and the two girls who were flourishing in the film later grew up in different ways and grew up to be the beautiful way they are today.
There are also many memories of watching foreign language films. Qiu Yuefeng voiced the movie "Jane Eyre" "Love" is far better translated than Chinese novels, especially Jane Eyre. Love's line "Do you think I'm poor and not good-looking, so I don't have feelings" (in this book, I quote this passage, using a dubbed line from the movie). At that time, the cinema line foreign language films were rich in language and high quality. "Yesenia", "Cold Heart", "Handsome Boy", "Zorro", "The Old Gun", "Here the Dawn Is Quiet"... Mexican, German, French, Soviet films were blockbusters from my youth. The first time I saw the original English film without dubbing and no subtitles was in the second year of junior high school, the title of the film was "Touched by Love", starring Diane Lee. Lane was an undeveloped little girl, and forty years later, she was one of my favorite Hollywood actresses, and Under the Tuscan Sun and Infidelity were her masterpieces and the movies I watched again. The reason I remember a film that wasn't great for so long is because it hit me so hard. I thought I was very good at English, but the first time I heard a foreigner speak on the screen, I only understood twenty percent. This frustrates me immensely.
In the year of the college entrance examination, the theater of the radio, film and television department at that time showed "Star Wars" inside, and I wanted to see it, but my father gently said "It is not too late to watch it after the exam", so I waited for eight years. After going to Hong Kong to work in 1996, in time for the Star Wars re-screening, I finally realized my dream, but found that I didn't like it so much. During the years when I worked and lived in Hong Kong, I watched the movie "Make-up Class" like crazy. There are many shops in Hong Kong, and after a few days of shopping, I will be happy, and seeing more and buying less and not having much money is probably the key. At that time, the business of Beststar's rental disc shop was booming, and I went around it after work. Usually, I either huddled at home to watch the discs, or I was in the theater in Hung Hom Whampoa Garden, catching up with what to see, and even tried to see the last ticket in the first row at the last minute, and watched the first part of "Jurassic Park" so close to the screen that I was dizzy after watching it.
When I returned to Beijing in 2000, I felt that everything at home was good, but it was inconvenient to watch movies.
The only way to see anything is to buy a disc. Unconsciously, I accumulated several CDs from bookcases, and now I look at it with an emotion. Want to throw, a little reluctant; do not throw it, useless and occupy the land. Fortunately, the books that have been following me will never go out of style.
Over the years, I have read books, watched movies, watched dramas, been busy watching others interpret life, often watching too much, and forgetting that life is far more wonderful than drama, forgetting that participation is far more meaningful than watching. After the restart of life in 2020, I was urged by the publisher to finally complete the editing of this book on the occasion of the arrival of the Year of the Ox. The text in the book all comes from my responses to the questions of readers and audiences in the past two years, most of them are young women, and the confusion and pain are almost all related to emotions. If they don't ask these questions, I won't think about them. Love is to be experienced, it is useless to talk on paper, and the encouragement and participation of others should also be vigilant. However, my question-and-answer exchange with the reader is warm and healing.
In 2021, I'm still reading, watching plays, and watching movies. In the new year, it feels like it should be a new sky, a new earth, a new atmosphere, but there are no fewer difficulties and problems, and I am relieved. When the epidemic was at its worst, wasn't what I was looking forward to when my life returned to normal?
(This article is the preface to the book "Still Believe", the title is added by the editor, and the image is provided by the publisher)
Author: Chen Luyu
Editor: Zhou Yiqian