In marriage, there are many times we will feel tired and painful, we will be anxious because the other party does not understand themselves, will be because of the quarrel with each other and heartache, but two people after a long period of running-in, the freshness will inevitably disappear, the patience with each other is not as good as before, this is the bottleneck period in the marriage.
This is the most test of the feelings of husband and wife, if two people can survive the bottleneck period safely, two people will inevitably be able to grow old in vain, if they feel too hard and separate, then most of them will regret it later.
There is a set of data in the Zhihu Emotion column, asking everyone why they divorced?
For divorce, I have my own considerations, if there is no feeling between two people, it is really impossible to live, and peaceful divorce is not impossible. The most unacceptable thing is the betrayal in the marriage, but if it is really just because of a few quarrels in the usual days, or even in the bottleneck period of the marriage to think that there is no love for the other party, so separated, then the probability of remarriage in the future is very large.
There are really many such couples, when they were together, the small things of chai rice oil and salt exhausted each other's patience, and there may be no third party between the two people, and there is no particularly prominent contradiction, but only because they are tired of each other, so they are separated.
The reason why Yang Hui and Wen Bin divorced at the beginning was because of some inconspicuous little things in the marriage, speaking of which, Yang Hui had some regrets, if she had not been so impulsive and did not serve as a pet, maybe now her marriage with Wen Bin is still very happy.
Yang Hui and Wen Bin's fate is not shallow, the two people from junior high school to high school has always been a school, and later the university separated did not expect that after graduation work, they can also move to a city. It may be because of the friendship of the fellow countrymen, so each has more trust in each other's hearts, much closer than other colleagues, and the two people have been together for a long time, and they are naturally together.
Wen Bin is also a man worthy of trust, he is mature and stable, and he has a special love for Yang Hui, and is a good marriage partner, so the two people have talked for two years and entered the palace of marriage.
Just got married, don't mention how happy the two people are, Wen Bin spoiled Yang Hui not to say, Wen Bin's mother also likes Yang Hui very much, there is no mother-in-law contradiction, Yang Hui is really luckier than many girls. However, it may be that because the marriage is too smooth, Yang Hui's temper has become more and more grumpy, and finally the pampering has no good results.
After they get married, many things will change a lot, and their mood will change, for example, after marriage, many men don't care much about the wedding anniversary. The reason for not caring is not because I don't want to live, but because I have forgotten too much work, which is not unavoidable.
At this time, if the woman understands men, the amount of gas is larger, the two people are definitely nothing, but Yang Hui is not spared, during that time Wen Bin's work is very busy, every night overtime, but also the two people's wedding anniversary left behind. Yang Hui was particularly angry after she returned home, and she told him that she had a surprise for him at night, she prepared a candlelight dinner and sent the child to her mother-in-law.
However, Wen Bin did not go home until twelve o'clock in the evening, he felt that the surprise could be seen at any time, about but it was just a matter of eating, but only forgot the wedding anniversary, looking at Yang Hui angry, he hurried to the cake shop to buy desserts, coaxing Yang Hui to be happy, but Yang Hui was not happy to receive desserts, but felt that Wen Bin was perfunctory.
It was the first time that two people had a cold war, the cold war lasted for nearly a month, Yang Hui was angry not only that the anniversary had not been good, but also Wen Bin's attitude of being busy with work later, that week Yang Hui ignored him, Wen Bin did not pay attention to him, and the two people were so deadlocked. He thought that the two people were just like the previous quarrel, laughing and laughing, but he did not expect that the contradictions were getting deeper and deeper, just like that, the Cold War lasted for nearly a month.
Because of this, Wen Bin deliberately took a week's annual leave to accompany Yang Hui on a trip, which eased the relationship between the two people, but Wen Bin's bow did not make Yang Hui grateful, Yang Hui was like grasping the handle, and every time the two people talked about it because of a small matter, she would bring it up. Yang Hui always felt that Wen Bin did not love himself as much as before, and he had unreasonably asked him to satisfy himself before, but now it was just a normal wedding anniversary, he not only forgot, but also corrected his attitude afterwards was still very poor, single-mindedly at work, forgetting her.
It was because Yang Hui was too unreasonable to make trouble, Wen Bin was also annoyed, and he was not as gentle as before.
The final result of the divorce between the two people was that day, Yang Hui did not control her temper, and even spread her anger to her mother-in-law. During that time, the second elder was sick, the mother-in-law came from the old home to help them see the children, although the two people did not have a mother-in-law contradiction on weekdays, but lived together for a long time, for some of Yang Hui's behavior, the mother-in-law felt that she could not see it, her heart was uncomfortable, and she would still say two sentences, so she was kind enough to persuade each other, and as a result, Yang Hui felt that the mother-in-law provoked the thorn, did not rely on it, and the two people quarreled because of the big sesame thing.
Afterwards, Wen Bin did not consider anything else, he found that Yang Hui is now more and more blind, so, because of this matter and Yang Hui theory, before Wen Bin was on Yang Hui's side, this time Yang Hui was accused by Wen Bin of her bad temper, then Yang Hui was definitely not happy, and finally Yang Hui impulsively proposed a divorce.
Wen Bin also did not want to get used to her any longer, saying that he would leave, and the two people were really divorced. After the divorce, Yang Hui felt that she was not at all wrong, in fact, even Yang Hui's parents felt that their daughter's temper was too big, and then her in-laws lived together, and her mother-in-law said that it was reasonable, but Yang Hui felt that she was wronged.
In this way, the two people each lived with a child for half a year, not long ago, the old classmates organized a classmate party as in previous years, Yang Hui felt that she was divorced, and the classmates all knew that they did not want to go. However, a friend of her middle school told her that her ex-husband would not go, she only went, but it just so happened that as soon as she entered the door, she saw her ex-husband sitting inside, at that time, Yang Hui looked embarrassed, originally wanted to leave, everyone let her sit down, and also arranged her next to her ex-husband.
Yang Hui was still angry and did not even say hello, but did not expect that after serving, Wen Bin carefully picked the fish bones and put them on her plate, and also picked the coriander that she did not like to eat, some classmates quipped that the two people broke up so sweetly, and intended to match the two people together. Yang Hui's heart was a little uncomfortable, she did want to remarry a little, the two people were not a big deal at the beginning, after the divorce, she was lazy and rarely ate fish.
Wen Bin said at this time: "Actually, I came on purpose, because I wanted to remarry a long time ago, but you don't bow your head, only I can bow my head, everyone knows that we have lived together, in order not to be embarrassed in the future, do you want to continue to be with me?" ”
Yang Hui had no reason not to agree, she knew that remarriage was not bad for her, and now that she thought about the divorce, she was not at all wrong. In fact, in marriage, girls are very easy to spoil, the man's favor as a matter of course is not in the minority, which just gives women a wake-up call: everything has a degree, the other party is used to you love you, but you do not cherish, unreasonable trouble and kick the nose on the face, this is not good for you, if you are not grateful and dislike each other, then the person who loves you can not stand it, will also leave you.
This also just shows that it is a good thing for men to spoil women, but it is not a good thing to always obey women, ask yourself, can you be consistent with women? Can you guarantee that at all times you can put women first, don't lose your temper with women, don't blame women, and don't get annoyed by women's arrogance? Can you guarantee that you can always let the woman win when you quarrel, you can swallow the grievances alone, you have always been so responsible, tolerate her, no matter what she does, your love for her will always remain the same?
In reality, not many men can do it, not to mention that in marriage, there are very few couples who have no red face, the small couple who have just married need to run in, they will quarrel because of the bad run-in, they will get married in the future, they will have children because of trivial and trivial quarrels, after the passion period, patience is not as good as before, there will be contradictions, you also need to face interpersonal relationships, mother-in-law contradictions, children's education problems, which may become the ignition point of your quarrels in the future.
As Lao Tian said in "Strange Story": "Husband and wife quarrels are like colds in life, it is difficult to avoid, but you occasionally catch a cold, you can also produce antibodies, which is conducive to good health." ”
Quarrels between husband and wife are a compulsory course in marriage, and men should also understand that if you really love women, you can't always get used to a woman's temper and can't tolerate her mistakes indefinitely.
For women, if you have been unconditionally good to her, she will become more and more inflated, and in the end either you can't stand it, or he can't stand it, which is not good for both of you. Whether it is a woman pinching a man or a man pinching a woman, it needs to be relaxed and measured, so that the feelings of two people can become more and more energetic.
- END -