Some people say that in love, we must find someone we like, and when we get married, we must find someone who likes ourselves, which is one-sided. What does a lover not like about himself? The wife herself does not like how to live a lifetime?@Kai shi chat
The concept of love is people's fundamental views and attitudes on the issue of love, which includes: what is love, the nature of love, and the position of love in personal life. In some ways, the concept of love is also a reflection of the concept of life, which continues to develop and change with the development of society.
Someone said: "Like a girl, appreciate her from the bottom of your heart, think about her in everything, do your best to support her career, and hope that she is happy." ”
Someone said, "It's only when two people's abilities, their positions, are about the same, when they meet each other, when they choose each other, and fate is a good love." ”
Some people say, "Love is a matter of need." A lot of couples you look very loving, very harmonious, you don't know what the needs behind them are. Take what you need, and the relationship can be formed. ”
Regarding the concept of love, everyone's cognition is different, which has nothing to do with right or wrong, can only say that everyone's outlook on life and values are different, but I think that even if everyone's concept of love is different, we still have to pursue our true love from the three aspects of singleness, equality and cultural quality.
This article analyzes from the three aspects of singleness, equality, and cultural quality, and true love is inseparable from these three aspects, and they are not independent of each other, but complement each other.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > single-minded: loyalty and single-mindedness, love has exclusivity, the lover should trust each other and maintain a sense of attachment, must not be half-hearted, three twilight, see different thoughts</h1>
Qian Zhongshu once wrote a very beautiful text to Yang Dai: "Before I met you, I didn't think about getting married, meeting you, I didn't think about getting married. "The single-minded love between Elder Qian and Mr. Yang has made a pair of literary couples, which has been envied by posterity."
There is a lyric that goes like this: "Once upon a time the sun became slow, the cars, horses, and mail were slow, and there was only enough to love one person in a lifetime." "And now, with developed science and technology, convenient transportation and communication, in the face of love, it is full of all kinds of temptations and choices."
Everyone has the ability to love others, there is no right or wrong in spending heart and single-mindedness, whether you are a man or a woman, whether you are an old man or a young person, for love, the heart is full of fire-like passion, full of yearning, but if you promise each other consistently when you are in love, then you must do it, because people's hearts are different, only truly single-minded people can get the beautiful love that belongs to us.
We all understand that feelings are never a simple thing, not everyone can get long-lasting feelings, because the feelings between people are very complicated, real life, often full of all kinds of temptations, if you can't really do the singleness, feelings will not blossom, because no one is really "stupid".
One of my roommates, who started falling in love with a girl in college, after graduation, because of work, he and his girlfriend became a long-distance relationship, the roommate stayed to work hard, and the girlfriend returned to her hometown. Although it is a long-distance relationship, it does not affect the feelings between them.
At the beginning, the girlfriend would call him every day, not talking for 1 hour is not the end, there is always endless thoughts, so it lasted for half a year, the two people began to talk about marriage when it was time to talk about marriage.
But some time ago, he found that his girlfriend had changed, the phone call to him was not in the book, he was calling her, every time he could not say a few words, he would be hung up by her, always saying that he was busy at work recently, it was more difficult, and his roommates also understood her, and could not bear to disturb her rest, but just told her to "pay attention to the body, don't be too tired."
Until that day, he inadvertently, at another classmate, saw a picture of his girlfriend, it was a photo with a boy, they were shoulder to shoulder, full of smiles, repeatedly asked, the classmate told him the truth, at that moment, the roommate understood that the girlfriend is not busy at work, but has been empathetic.
I still remember that the cries of my roommate at that time were so heart-rending, as if all my beauty, all my visions for the future, were accompanied by the girl's different thoughts, and disappeared forever.
So say: Love, please love deeply; no love, please leave. Self-cleverness and self-deception in love will only lead to true love stopping patronizing you. Love should be serious and serious, feelings are single-minded, love can only exist between the two lovers, no third party intervention is allowed, love is not a child's play, both sides should treat each other sincerely, seek truth from facts, and treat each other realistically.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > equality: voluntary mutual love, not to be forced, mutual respect, admiration, tolerance, learn from each other's strengths, meet needs, and develop together; </h1>
"Do you think I'm poor, plain-looking, and have no feelings?" I swear to you: If God gives me wealth and beauty, I will make it as difficult for you to leave me as it is for me to leave you now. God did not arrange it that way. But our spirit is equal. It is as if you and I walked through the grave and stood before God as equals. —Charlotte Brontë
I've heard many young people say something like, "Find someone like my mom and dad who will spoil me, love me, and be good to me at all costs." Thinking about it now, this sentence itself is not valid. In this world, of all emotional relationships, there is only blood, which is unconditional.
Just like I love my daughter, I love her not because she is excellent, it is determined by blood. So I never expected a man who would like my daughter as much as I did. I think my daughter has to be cute in order for a man to love her, not to say it's okay to be unconditional.
I had received a call from a friend before, and as soon as the phone was answered, there was a cry of tearing his heart and lungs, and he said:
I still broke up, you know? When I found out that I was really in love with her, I felt very inferior, and at that time I pestered her all day, chased her for more than half a year, and always wanted her to agree to be my girlfriend.
On Valentine's Day, I confessed to her again, she wanted to dodge, I grabbed her and didn't let go, I forced her to give me an answer, she sighed and said, "You let go, I promised you." "I couldn't sleep one night when I was happy.
After we were together for more than a year, I have been very humble, any request she asked, I tried to meet, but she still left, back to her ex-boyfriend, until today I understand that love is really not forced, all your goodness to her, all your pampering, or did not change the final result.
In a marriage relationship or a romantic relationship, love is an equal relationship, pampering is not an equal relationship, just a one-way relationship, many women feel that I have gained pampering, I am happy, I am proud, I think this is very good.
But I would prefer that each of us should know more:
Love is never a person's business, not a person blindly pay can go to the end, what is needed is that both parties voluntarily love each other and do not insist, mutual respect, admiration, tolerance, learn from each other's strengths, in order to develop together;
In an emotional relationship, we are first and foremost independent and equal, and I not only have to get love, but I also have the ability to give love. In this way, a person, even when he loses his marriage or love, can live a good life with dignity.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > cultural quality: in the choice of lovers, it should be like-minded, ideological character, career ideals and cultural quality</h1>
"Love is not a sweet word in the shade of a tree, not a honey word in the peach blossom source, not a light tear, nor a rigid compulsion, but a spiritual communication that is built on a common foundation." —Shakespeare
In ancient times, there was such a saying: marriage is the right thing to pay attention to. Now to speak, in fact, there is no mistake, many people may say that they are poor and love the rich when they hear that the door is right, but the "door to the door" mentioned here is not the "door concept" in the traditional sense, nor is it talking about the gap between the rich and the poor, but more importantly, the difference in cultural literacy.
A happy marriage does not require two people to do the absolute "door-to-door pair", but it should also be relative, because too much difference will become an unstable factor in the marriage, and sooner or later there will be an outbreak of the day.
Like a friend of mine, she was Dr. Liuyang, and later fell in love with a small business owner at first sight and quickly entered the palace of marriage. But the huge cultural differences, the pressure in the face of the trivialities of life, and various difficulties, made them constantly contradictory, and the marriage lasted only 2 years, and then it parted ways.
This relationship herself was resolutely opposed by her family at the beginning, but she did not listen to persuasion, insisted on choosing to get married, and finally suffered the consequences. Her family then said that in the future, even if they would rather lose their daughters, they would no longer accept such a man with too much cultural difference.
Because there are too many cultural differences, love will lose its support, and then be eaten away little by little. So, what are the aspects of cultural differences in love?
(1) Hobbies or common language
Everyone's original family is different, coupled with cultural differences, it is difficult to have a common hobby, there is no common language, and couples without a common language can not go to the end, because you can not even say a good word between you.
So you have to try to maintain the same interest with him, this thing can be you change or the two of you like together, so that the two of you have something to like, then there will be a lot of topics between you.
(2) The gap between the way of thinking and the treatment of people and things
Because of the different educations received, the way of thinking about the same thing, or the way of treating people and things, is different, because everyone will be affected by the environment imperceptibly, if it is two families in the opposite direction of the mind, it will take a long time to run well, and this time, whether two people will be separated because of fatigue, it will become a huge test.
(3) Different cultures will lead to different views of the three
What are the Three Views? It is the outlook on life, values, the worldview. Because of the difference in cultural quality, these concepts will make us very different. It's like I want to talk to you about classical literature, but you can only talk about TV dramas; I want to talk to you about the concept of consumption, but you talk to me about celebrity gossip; Without effective communication, there will be constant quarrels.
(4) The difference in the circle of friends
As the saying goes, things are grouped together in groups, everyone lives in different circles, friends are different, love is a matter of two people, one person must integrate into the life of the other.
If a man's friend, in the eyes of a woman, has no quality, she believes that your friends are fox friends, and you get together with your "fox friends" all day long, it will inevitably cause her dissatisfaction; Men are the same, especially when women's girlfriends always say bad things about men in front of women, and men will transfer that anger to women, so that contradictions will arise.
At the beginning of love, perhaps you have a unique trait that attracts you because of the humor, handsomeness, etc. of the other party, but this is not long-lasting, and the cultural quality is the key, which determines whether you have a common topic between you, whether your attitude towards life is the same, and whether your pursuit of the future is the same. Therefore, cultural quality is also a decisive factor in the success of love.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > summary</h1>
In general, love from the soul is beautiful, no matter when, where or what age people, the desire for love is consistent, if love comes, we must use the most sincere, purest heart to accept, to pursue love, in the pursuit of love at the same time, do not blind, these three points are we can not ignore:
First, loyalty and single-mindedness: love has exclusivity, the love party should trust each other and maintain a sense of attachment, must not be half-hearted, three twilight, see different thoughts.
2. Equality: voluntary mutual love, not to be forced, mutual respect, admiration, tolerance, learning from each other's strong points, meeting needs, and developing together;
Third, cultural quality: In the choice of lovers, it should be like-minded, ideological and moral, career ideals and cultural quality.
Finally, I hope that everyone can harvest their love as soon as possible, fly with their beloved, and have lovers eventually become dependents.
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