February 16, 2021
I wrote this story on New Year's Day 2016. Every year on the fifth day of the first month, when greeting the god of wealth, friends turn out this old article and forward it.
In this special new year, I still hope that this year there will be the god of wealth, the god of blessing, and the god of courage!
During the Spring Festival of 2016, our family spent most of the month traveling in Taiwan. From Kaohsiung to Kenting, Hualien, Jiaoxi to Taipei, you can wander around and linger between small cities and rivers.
Like everyone else, the fifth grade greeted the god of wealth on social networks, saying that "this year should no longer be poor." So two or three classmates replied to me more enthusiastically than the god of wealth, and some said, "We have all traveled to Taiwan and Japan, and we still feel that we are poor, what should we do if we earn three thousand a month?" Some said: "As a public figure, your tone is too conceited."
Don't say that I am such a tired and unscrupulous person, I did not regard myself as a "public figure" at all, just to say that the family has a miscellaneous scripture, and it is the best situation to laugh when I encounter such words.
After all, in the face of envy and jealousy and hatred of others, the best answer can only be to work harder and live your own life more moistly.
But I'd like to say it again – I understand you
Four years ago today, my dad had just transferred from the ICU to the general ward.
Throughout the Spring Festival, I spent the spring in the corridor of the ICU on an iron bed rented for 15 yuan a day.
That Spring Festival, our family booked a machine + wine to go to Taiwan. Two nights before departure, Dad suddenly fell ill and fell into a severe coma. Then there's epilepsy, sudden cardiac arrest.
Because Dad had a rare bacterial disease, on the twenty-ninth day of the New Year, our whole family lined up to draw blood to check whether it was infected. I hugged Minnie, who was napping, and while worrying about my father in the intensive care unit, my legs and stomach were shaking and thinking, "As long as my child is okay, let me do anything." As long as my kids are okay, let me do whatever I want. ”
People get scared, and their legs and stomachs really shake. I didn't know until that day.
After surviving in the ICU for more than ten days, Dad struggled from the line of life and death. During that time, the ICU may occasionally pull out people who are covered by a white cloth. The family members of the patients waiting in the corridor looked at each other from afar, and they could not help but think: "Fortunately, it is not my family!" "I remember there was a window at the end of the corridor facing the Great Lake. Sometimes I stand in front of the window, looking intently at the people swimming in the lake, feeling trance: Why should I stand here? Why should I suffer like this? When will these tortures stop?
In some moments, there will be a fleeting thought, deeply feeling that others are one day destined to taste such misfortune--- this thought seems to be wrapped in the transcendence of the high-ranking people; wrapped in the complaints of the powerless; wrapped in the familiarity of the old gods of the world. In reality, it contains the malice of human nature: anger, grievance, shouting, loneliness, and curse.
Later, I found that people are in the chaos of what they think is unfortunate, and there is no reason to draw. In order to change the status quo, two voices with subtle differences will arise in the mental image: one is that I will not let myself suffer any longer, and I will find a way for myself to find peace. The second is that others have to suffer more than me so that I can be calm. The former is inward-looking, and the ego strives to break free from the shackles of the spirit and ignite the hope of recounting life. The latter is externalized, and the self-emotion cannot be relieved, spreading into a battle of trapped beasts that are enemies of the whole world. "Other people's misfortunes" are illusory, and the enemy of the soul is always the "I am not happy" that I face.
On the twenty-ninth day of the year, the whole family drew blood. Returning home like an escape. My mom cleaned the house spotlessly, hung up the marquee, stood in the hall with her spine straight, waved her hand and said to everyone, "Let's all come to dinner!" Everyone should eat well in the New Year! ”
I will always remember the mother who looked like that, the good mother who won the city.
We were really poor at that time. Monkey's publishing company was almost unprofitable. All our deposits add up to about a hundred thousand. The doctor told me to find the best antibiotic against the superbugs in Dad's body, german, for six thousand dollars a day. I said, "Okay. That's great. The doctor laughed too and said, "Thank you." I said, "I should say thank you." ”
There was a patient in the same ICU who, like me, shrunk in the corridor and waited for many days. The doctor said to her daughter, "She's brain dead. Commonly known as vegetative people. You discuss what to do. They came back after the discussion and said, "We believe in miracles!" The doctor paused. Later we learned that he was a very good doctor, honest and sincere, and did his best for his patients. The doctor paused, then said, "Look at your financial situation." But in our opinion, there is really no miracle. The family stood in a row, eyes wide open, hands in hand, and said, "We still believe in miracles!" ”
It was my turn, and despite the expensive medication, the doctor did not ask me to "see how your finances are." It's a subtle hint of a certainty of what is to be done. I didn't ask him if he had any cheaper medicine and how long it would take. It's a big deal to sell a house—I thought without pain.
Between life and death, qian na house is a trivial matter. Not only was I trying to save my father, but I was also doing my best to make myself bear my misfortune calmly and truthfully.
Two years ago, on Valentine's Day, Dad had just moved into the general ward. The body still leaves many traces of the invasion of serious diseases: lifelong deafness, diabetes, severe atrophy of the lower limbs and inability to go to the ground, because of brain damage leading to short-term memory loss.
In the beginning, we rejoiced at the re-acquisition of Him. Soon, we find that he doesn't remember us at all. My mom exclaimed, "That's unlucky! I was with him all my life, and I forgot about him! ”
Two days before Valentine's Day, I calculated how much money I had left, and then went to a jewelry designer friend I knew and ordered this ruby ring for my mother in my father's name.
On Valentine's Day, take advantage of my mother to go out to fetch water. I slipped the ring into my amnesiac dad's hand. The order said, "To that woman!" "Why give it to her?" My dad grabbed the ring and said, "Is she going to marry someone?" My mom grinned and walked over, knocked him on the head, grabbed the ring, put it on her hand, and said, "Married? Who am I going to marry! ”
Writing so much is not to show off that you are "unlucky". Rather, this suddenness and impermanence completely changed my life.
In the abyss of pain, the only things that support me to come out are "I must regain my peace", "I must be better responsible for myself", "I want to make love more calm, brighter, and more timely".
Only compassion will return to the vast amount of compassion, and only love will bring more love.
And all suffering is to break our resentment, arrogance, and self-hatred and bring about the experience of awakening.
Choosing to tell this story before Valentine's Day is not about my mom and dad living a happy life ever since.
They are still like every old couple. Dad has his own stubbornness, and Mom ignores his wife's deafness and relentlessly nagged him about all kinds of complaints.
It's not that I used to be so poor that I had to buy the smallest ruby ring, but now I have the money to take them around the world.
Our economy is still not in good shape. On new year's eve, he and the monkey calculated the decoration budget, and they were overstretched and relatively sad. However, the dignity and meaning of an ordinary family, its chewing and feeling of each delicate day, is not only on the chai rice oil and salt that maintains daily life, but also a bouquet of flowers, a small doll, a children's poem that has been read together, and a family trip that has to be practiced like a vow.
Whether it is 30 or 30 million a month, whether it is playing in a small waterhole on the doorstep of our home or exploring as far as Antarctica, there is always something that makes our lives break free from the tedious ordinary and frightening impermanence, and lets the mind reveal its clear power.
This kind of love without scruples and without hindrance, to feel the power of love, depends entirely on your own decision.
On the fifth day of the first year, we greeted the "God of Wealth", and in the blink of an eye, it was the day of welcoming the "God of Love". I certainly hope not to be poor anymore, with lots of good love.
But above all prayers, there is one prayer that is most important to me
I hope that I can face impermanence and gain the courage to be calm and calm.
Hopefully, this courage never fades.
Like a fish in a net, it will eventually flow for a long time.
After Dad was ill, even if he was always asked: It is troublesome to travel with a person who is prone to amnesia and deafness, right?
We have been to many places together. Walk under the sea in Bali, take a motorcycle ride at the Kenting Seashore, climb high mountains, dive into the sea, see the snow, play mahjong in the forest valley...
Our family: my dad, who is often forgetful and completely deaf, my mom, who plays with the temper of a child from time to time, the old Minnie who has a finger, and the monkey who always has to be the treasurer, we stumble and walk, and we continue to go to the rest of the world.
Instead of making countless superficial "trips" in one's lifetime, it carries an understanding of difficulties and impermanence and walks hand in hand (often seemingly detached) toward the bottom of the heart.
Not to japan, Europe, Africa, these geographical terms, but to self-grasping, arrogance, jealousy, fear, anger...
Such a home is my talent. And through my father, I finally believed that every ordinary person has the ability to show miracles.
May we be embraced by all our own Gods
Happy Fortuna Day