Narrator: Xu Hong Age: 23
Because my family was too poor, I went out to work at a very young age. The father was frail, the mother was semi-blind, and the younger sister was too young. For the sake of this family's livelihood, I began to work hard for my life, going from strange city to city, being snubbed and looking blank. Years of hardship, let me no longer count the contemptuous eyes of others, understand the world is cold, I understand that if I do not work hard to make money, I will always be looked down upon.
But due to cultural limitations, I have always been a working girl with an unstable life. During the part-time work, I sent almost all the money I earned back home, leaving only enough money to eat, drink and live, and I lived a poorer life than at home.
On such lonely and hard days, I met a man from a foreign land like me, who was four years older than me and worked in a supermarket. The two of us are dependent on each other in such an environment, although life is still very poor, but there is more happiness and security, and the days have a head start.
But suddenly one day, he didn't say goodbye, and he didn't even take his own things. I was very anxious, thinking that something had happened to him, the mobile phone could not get through, and when I went to the place where he worked, people said that he was leaving work normally. I began to think wildly, guessing whether he had any accidents, after reporting to the police, that night did not close his eyes, the next day to go to the supermarket to find him again, his supervisor said that he had already completed the resignation procedures, it is estimated that he can not come.
A month passed, and this person evaporated like a human being, and there was no more news. I waited for him in the rental house in a daze, but he never showed up again. Then I thought of a friend of his who had dinner together, and although the two of us had little contact, the boyfriend seemed to trust him and was willing to call him to discuss anything. There was no such person's phone number, so I found the place where the person worked by the address my boyfriend had said. He refused to say anything more, but told me that people have different aspirations and cannot be forced. I didn't understand what he meant, and when I asked him he wouldn't say anything. The pressure and pain of the past few days had made me no longer awake and rational, and I knew that I should not be so persistent, but I did not want to let go, so I simply sat at the door of this man's work place, sat for forty-eight hours, ate a bite when I was hungry, and fell asleep on the steps. His boss couldn't look at it, and after understanding the situation, he found out the person and asked him to explain it clearly. It turned out that my boyfriend had come into contact with a woman in the food business at work, she was divorced, more than ten years older than her eldest boyfriend, had a child and his husband abroad, and said that women were willing to give him a rich life, which was why he left me. Such a life would make him struggle for many years less, and it would also change the fate of him and his family, and his friend told me that poor people are not qualified to talk about love.
This incident hit me hard, I lost the courage to live, the pressure of the family, the failure of love, the hopelessness of the future, let me lose confidence in life. I chose to be in a quiet place, drank a lot of wine and cut my wrist.
I didn't die, I woke up lying in the hospital, and a pair of kind old people saved me. I am depressed, do not know what to do alive, every day when I open my eyes is to keep working, making money, supporting the family, I have not been young, not myself, I have not enjoyed the happiness that should be at this age, it is difficult to meet a person, and so abandoned me, are poor people really not qualified to talk about love and happiness?
I'm tired and don't want to do anything, I don't know if I'm going to get better. The loss of love is the last straw that overwhelmed me, I have never loved life, and now even life is taken very lightly. Not every girl is born a princess, maybe I am the one who is not favored by fate.