After people reach middle age, there will be a wonderful change. Many of the things that I used to think were clichés began to make sense. For example, "Leave a line of people and see each other in the future." Another example is "thirty years of Hedong, thirty years of Hexi." ”
These words, placed in the juvenile period of fresh clothes and angry horses and happy revenge, will be somewhat dismissive, because wanton and painful are the most important, where to take care of this much. But as I grew older, I found that the reason why many clichés were endless was because they came from the life of iron fighting, and they were the experiences and lessons of countless predecessors wrapped in sorrow and joy.
Several couples in "Growing Up with You" are interpreting this simple and ancient "big truth".
Although "Accompany You" is nearing the end, the marital contradictions of several couples have entered a white-hot situation. The harmonious awakening of love and Xi Bin began a long cold war; Lin Yunyun, who was accustomed to being a small ambush, finally broke out in oppression; He Jinghua, who had always been served comfortably by her husband, was the most miserable this time, suddenly fell into the quagmire, and the inner courtyard caught fire, embattled.
The daughter ran away from home, the husband ran away from home, the son asked her for her father, and her parents accused her of marrying the wrong person. The family became a pot of porridge, and the piles and pieces made this middle-aged woman exhausted and miserable.
Among the several couples in the play, the changes in the strength and weakness of He Jinghua and Jiang Bo in their marriages are particularly intriguing, and there are also quite cautionary and reference points.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" > he family's strength and Jiang Bo's weakness</h1>
He Jinghua and Jiang Bo have always been a couple of women singing and husbands. When the two married, the man was young and handsome but had nothing, the woman's remarriage with a baby could be well-off, the two disregarded the age gap and parents' opposition, walked into the marriage without hesitation, and added a son, and the little life was also good.
There is very little conflict between the couple, because they can satisfy each other. As a young man, Jiang Bo obeys his wife's words and takes care of him in every way, and As a big woman, He Jinghua enjoys the love of her husband and never abandons him for his incompetence. The discordant sound of their marriage comes more from the strong interference of He Jinghua's parents.
He Jinghua's family lives in their parents' house, and the parenting of the two babies is also thanks to the help of their parents, from this point of view, the old man is kind to their husband and wife. But success is also parents, and defeat is also parents. The two old men were too arrogant and planted a time bomb on their daughter's marriage.
The He family's parents have always looked down on their son-in-law, and they feel that this poor boy from the countryside can fly up the branches to become a phoenix completely by relying on the strength of his own family. Because of this ideological foundation, they were very arrogant in Jiang Bo's words and deeds, and they often ridiculed and reprimanded them.
In the eyes of the He family's parents, Jiang Bo could not lift his head for a lifetime, they did not mind his feelings and grievances, seemingly negligent, but in fact it was contempt in their bones, in their cognition, the son-in-law who endured grace was not worthy of personal emotions.
This attitude is the same as Gu Jiawei's treatment of Lin Yunyun. Gu Jiawei, a successful person, is also on top, believing that Lin Yunyun will submit to him for a lifetime, so he dares to assert to her: "Out of this door, you are worthless." ”
The practices of Gu Jiawei and He Jia's parents are not uncommon in reality. There are always some people who will rely on their own strength and be unscrupulous to their families, and this mode of getting along will have endless troubles. Because they forget one important thing: people change, and so do their situations.
In family relations, it is inevitable that there will be strong and weak. This contrast of strength and weakness will change due to the passage of time and different angles, and the horizontal view will become a peak on the ridge side. No one can always be strong, and no one is willing to be crushed for a lifetime. So, the most important thing in marriage is balance, and the most important thing is respect.
He Jinghua's parents did not understand this truth. In their eyes, they only saw their own dedication to their daughter's family, but ignored the importance of Jiang Bo. Admittedly, they are the ones who hold the bottom for their daughters, but their excessive interference has exceeded the bottom line of getting along. They usually regard Jiang Bo as a small transparent, and when they encounter things, they use him as an excuse to shirk responsibility, and even an emotional garbage can.
He Jinghua spent 200,000 yuan to buy a quota in order for his son to go to a famous school, but he encountered a scammer, and the bamboo basket was empty. Who found this liar? Ho family dad. He lied that there was a way and a reliable relationship, which directly led to He Jinghuali's lingzhi fainting.
After being deceived, the He family's parents immediately pushed the responsibility on Jiang Bo. If you don't have the ability, do I need to this heart and entrust people to find a relationship? "We paid for it, the grandson simply surnamed He, and our family lost too much with the surname Jiang."
In the eyes of the Jiang family's parents, all the tragedies that occurred in the daughter's family have one and only one root cause: marrying Jiang Bo. Jiang Bo became the original sin of this remarried family, which is obviously a very unfair judgment.
Jiang Bo was good to He Jinghua, and they turned a blind eye. Jiang Bo did housework with his son, greeted his wife warmly, cared for his non-biological daughter, and worked hard to run the anchor business, all of which could not offset his original poor boy, "Without us, he can live in a house in this area, and he can settle down in this city?" ”
The He family's parents, who reveled in their own advantages, could not see their daughter's feelings and dependence on Jiang Bo. In order to let Jiang Bo have a biological child, He Jinghua risked the high risk of gestational diabetes and insisted on giving birth to Jiang Siyuan. After the marriage of the two, He Jinghua also completely got rid of the shadow of the first failed marriage because of Jiang Bo, and his little life was full of life.
Seemingly without a sense of existence, Jiang Bo, who is like a warm swallow, has already become an important support in He Jinghua's life, and her parents have always believed that this poor boy is the big bug in her daughter's life.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" > Jiang Bo left home, and the strength and weakness reversed</h1>
Under the pressure of the years, Jiang Bo finally broke out in silence. He could no longer bear the humiliation of his in-laws and slapped the table and roared.
"I've married your daughter for so many years, do you think I've been a family member?" What happened to you about the head of the family, have I ever been the head of the family in this family? You say I'm not a man, but have you ever given me a chance to be a man? ”
Verbal confrontations, swords and shadows, those hidden and suppressed contradictions, are out of control. Jiang Bo ran away from home and wanted to divorce He Jinghua, and any parents threatening to scold him would not help.
Quarrels in the family often force people into desperate situations because of words, and those words that rush out of the mouth often hide the harsh truth.
Jiang Bo, who was furious, made an account with his in-laws:
"When I first got married, I was married for the first time, your daughter was married for the second time, and you didn't lose money; the down payment for this house was paid by you, but the loan was paid by me, and the real estate deed was written on your name, and you didn't lose it."
A naked paragraph reveals the truth of the balance of interests in marriage, and it can also be seen that "little transparent" Jiang Bo has never been stupid. After all, who is really stupid this year?
Jiang Bo's usual forbearance and pretending to be stupid are just his means of maintaining the balance of marriage. The favor given by the in-laws is real, the mouth of the eater is short, and the hard breath does not come. While accepting the help of the elders, it is difficult to refuse their intervention, even if it is his own daughter He Jinghua, who has to do so.
In "Little Shed", the reason why Tian Yulan, played by Jiang Xin, resisted the help of her in-laws was also because she "ate people's mouths short" and would lose her right to speak.
Jiang Bo deliberately maintained his balance, always posing to please his parents-in-law, and when nothing major happened, his "shrinking head" to make peace could still work. But in the event of a major crisis in the family, this already precarious balance is completely upset. He could no longer bear it, and he could no longer disguise it.
Jiang Bo, who has always had a low eyebrow and a pleasing eye, threw out the chips of marriage, and as a result, the He family's parents were stunned.
He Jia's father immediately realized: "If you want to divorce you earlier, ah, now that my daughter is this age, what do you want her to do?" The mother of the He family also began to persuade her daughter: "When you see Jiang Bo at home, how comfortable you are." Or this time you will bow your head, admit your mistake, and persuade him to go home. Only then did they realize, "If only that Little Jiang were there." ”
At this time, the two old men were finally willing to face up to Jiang Bo's significance in this family, and they were extremely embarrassed to find that the strong and weak relationship in their daughter's marriage was not their overwhelming advantage of wishful thinking. If this marriage breaks down, the end will undoubtedly be a lose-lose situation.
Marriage, which is essentially a form of cooperation, should not be measured by strength or weakness. Marriage is not the bullying of one party over the other, but the mutual support of both parties. Moreover, life is impermanent and fluid, strong and weak, not a constant state.
Because of the unbearable drama of running away from home, the Gu family is also being staged. Lin Yunyun, who was deprived of the bottom line, fled in her pajamas and held her daughter in the middle of the night, which made the Gu family, who was accustomed to flying, angry. He originally thought that by locking Lin Yunyun's box wallet into the safe, he could sit back and relax and continue to enjoy his wife's attentive service, but he did not think that Lin Yunyun would divorce him this time.
What Lin Yunyun said to Su Xing was her determination to live in the future. She said: "To stay is to be in prison for a lifetime, to struggle out, and maybe there is another world." Lin Yunyun, who has such a plan, is gu Jiawei easily locked?"
Gu Jiawei made the same mistake as He Jiawei's parents, thinking that with financial power in his hands, he could control everything. He overestimated his contribution to the family, but seriously underestimated his wife's contribution to the family. Their bullying view of family marriage is bound to bear its own consequences.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" > marriage and needs to be revered and cherished</h1>
Marriage is a long practice. Running a marriage well depends on the efforts of two people who do not give up, on the wisdom of balance and the reverence for marriage. Respecting each other's values, maintaining their own bottom line, and coordinating their relationship with both of their native families require sincerity and caution at every step. Being a little low and flying is never the right gesture of marriage.
In life, there are too many bumps in the road. The most suitable Su Xing and Xi Bin in the play almost broke down their feelings because of the lack of communication; Gu Jiawei and Lin Yunyun walked to the brink of marriage; He Jinghua was in pain because Jiang Bo wanted to divorce. Ordinary people need to do their best to maintain an ordinary life, and they must always be on the lookout for unknown risks.
It is precisely because life is difficult that the mutual support in marriage and family is precious.
The old people often say: Don't be too desperate, the world is impermanent, thirty years of Hedong, thirty years of Hexi. This cliché contains the simple wisdom given by the years. It was a collection of lessons from generation to generation, witnessing with their own eyes the lessons of "seeing him rise up a tall building, seeing him entertain guests, and seeing him collapse" again and again.
Therefore, in marriage, the strong should not be too arrogant, and we must know that the world is impermanent, and "feng shui takes turns". The weak must know how to draw the bottom line, because if you don't draw, the other party will draw for you, and the probability will be lower than your expectations. Balancing the so-called strong and weak and achieving a harmonious coexistence ecology is the guarantee of a lasting marriage.
Of course, the best marriage relationship is to treat each other sincerely and respect each other.