Qiong Yao and Ping Xintao: Guardianship in his later years was a failure

Qiong Yao once said: "My life has failed, and the book will not be written again." ”

Aunt Qiong Yao, we are very familiar with several generations, but in 2017, Aunt Qiong Yao's husband Ping Xintao was hospitalized with dementia due to stroke, and a series of emotional and ethical stories were followed, which triggered people's thinking.

As we age, people's physical and mental state may become worse and worse, and if in their old age, there is no guardian around them who can arrive in time or fully clap, then what should we do?

Let your wife take care of it? The wife's health may not be much better than her own, and may not be as good as herself;

Let the children take care of them? If there are many children, many people have a lot of mouths, each with their own thoughts, and the only child may still be working hard for his career, and even not live with himself.

Raising children and preventing old age has always been the truth, but how to prevent it specifically, we might as well look at the case of Aunt Qiong Yao's husband, Ping Xintao.

01 After Ping Xintao's stroke, Qiong Yao broke up with her children

Stroke is a disease that is heavy and heavy, light and light, due to his age, Ping Xintao's treatment is not particularly ideal. It is said that the husband is sick, as a wife, must do his best to find a way to cure his husband, but Qiong Yao is not.

I don't know whether it is because of old age, or because we can't understand the unique romance of the literati, Qiong Yao seems to conclude that Ping Xintao can't get better, and when she can't stand the inner pain, she once prayed on social platforms, only to ask her husband to "forget me for the last time."

However, what is even more surprising is that later Qiong Yao and Ping Xintao's children launched a fierce mutual tearing around the contradiction of "whether to insert a nasogastric tube for Ping Xintao".

In Qiong Yao's view, inserting a nasogastric tube into Ping Xintao only delayed Ping Xintao's death time, but deprived Ping Xintao of the "right to a good death" to leave comfortably, so he resolutely opposed the insertion of a nasogastric tube for Ping Xintao.

The so-called right to a good death, to put it bluntly, is not euthanasia? But euthanasia is clearly illegal in our country.

Ping Xintao's children and doctors believe that inserting a nasogastric tube is only a stopgasphemeral measure, and when Ping Xintao's illness is cured, there is no problem in unplugging it, so the two sides have never been able to reach an agreement, or even break up.

02

In order to keep the promise of "no intubation" with her husband Ping Xintao, Aunt Qiong Yao once choked up and announced that she would hand over her husband to the care of her stepchildren and give up her right to take care of Ping Xintao.

And because she was afraid that her emotions would be out of control, Qiong Yao decided that she would never see Ping Xintao again.

"However, you and I are both married for the second time, and it was obvious that you were desperately pursuing me for 16 years, and how much grievance I suffered!"

On May 23, 2019, the 92-year-old Ping Xintao passed away, and Qiong Yao posted a message telling her inner grievances and pain after Ping Xintao's death.

I have to say that Qiong Yao's romance is placed in her own love, even in the face of life and death, it is also such a romantic, although Qiong Yao accompanies her husband with dementia for 24 hours, and Ping Xintao's children only come to see once every half a month, but Aunt Qiong Yao said: Meat without a soul is not worth living, it is better to go to euthanasia.

However, in practice, in the law of our country, there are only the following types of circumstances that can be waived or factually waived:

The guardian is completely incapacitated

Guardians are unable to effectively perform guardianship obligations due to reasons such as being sentenced

The guardian's own ability to work is poor, and he is unable to assume the obligation of guardianship due to economic difficulties

Therefore, Aunt Qiongyao's practice is essentially a violation of the law and the principles of public order and good customs, and most people may not understand Qiongyao's thoughts, but if Ping Xintao is still conscious, he does not know how to feel when he sees the struggle between his wife and children.

03

There is such a program in the strange story:

If a loved one is diagnosed with advanced cancer, will they choose to give up treatment or spend money to continue treatment?

Of course, the severity of stroke dementia is obviously not comparable to cancer, but as a patient who cannot move normally and communicate with people, the pain of watching relatives become strangers or even leave is the same.

I have talked to many people, and I have seen many netizens express their views on social platforms:

If I'm sick, lying in bed unable to speak or move, dementia, I might give up treatment, I don't want to burden my family...

However, these answers are ultimately difficult to say again after the illness.

It is undeniable that when faced with a crisis of life, people's desire to survive is very strong, even if it is advanced cancer, knowing that the possibility of cure is very low, knowing that people's death is irreversible, but whether it is as a doctor or a patient's family, as long as the heart is unbearable, it is still difficult to say give up in person.

Respect for life, this is the common sentiment of human beings, sadly, many people simply can not afford to pay for the treatment of diseases, not even the opportunity to fight the disease, and modern society with the general extension of people's average life expectancy, between illness and death, there is often an unknown time, may be months, may be years.

Therefore, from a personal emotional point of view, when faced with the same problem, it is difficult for me to do something similar to Aunt Qiongyao. For terminal illness, we still encourage our loved ones to live, and for the elderly who have dementia but have not yet passed away, why can't we plan our care obligations in advance and accompany them well?

Isn't the so-called wife just to be able to snuggle up to each other when they are old and helpless?

04 How do you avoid this situation in your later years?

During the hospitalization of Qiong Yao's husband Ping Xintao, because Ping Xintao had "dementia and stroke" and was incapacitated, Qiong Yao and her stepchildren had a huge controversy over the treatment method, triggering a social debate, and the "family ugliness" was known to the world.

But the loneliest, most helpless and most helpless is ping Xintao himself, who is demented by stroke, a man who was originally a gentleman, who looked like a child after the illness, and even the diagnosis and treatment plan to save himself almost overturned.

Any person, between life and death, often has a transitional "dementia stage", which is the most fragile and most in need of protection, but it is such a stage that there is almost no pilot plan and instrument as protection.

If a person can take precautions before his death, make a power of attorney (that is, "intended guardianship" in domestic practice) as soon as possible, and make his own decisions in his own life, he can avoid the end of Ping Xintao.

Make a plan for your future, which is a problem that everyone has to think about and solve.

Dry goods are still to be on the table

"An adult with full or no capacity to act may, in prior consultation with his close relatives or other individuals or organizations willing to serve as guardians, determine his or her guardian in writing, and in the event that he or she loses or partially loses his or her capacity to act in a matter of conduct, the guardian shall perform guardianship duties."

- Article 33 of the Code of Laws

The recognition of intended guardianship in the Code of Law has unprecedentedly realized the autonomy of the meaning of public authority, from identity to contract, guaranteeing the right of individuals to choose their guardians in special circumstances.

Make a plan for your future, this is a problem that everyone has to think about and solve.

Intentional guardianship is our entrustment of life.