Dai Chuanhui did not expect that her old physical husband had actually set up a concubine room outside for four years, and the moment she learned the truth, she felt that her marriage of more than thirty years was like a big joke.
Mao Yisheng did not know that the moment he decided to confess to his wife about the external concubine, he personally pushed the once happy and happy family into the abyss.
When he was young, Mao Yisheng
One afternoon in 1950, the sun outside the window was shining lazily, and Mao Yisheng and his wife sat on the sofa and took a nap.
Dai Chuanhui, who was leaning on the sofa, picked up the newspaper on the table and said, "Today's new newspaper, I don't know what new and strange things have happened." ”
Suddenly, she said to Mao Yisheng with great interest: "It turned out that there was another celebrity's extramarital affair, and this outer chamber actually publicly published a newspaper to accuse this man of being irresponsible, I am afraid that it is not because the wife of the main room is too tight, this male protagonist has to break off the relationship with the outer room, but it has caused the dissatisfaction of the outer room." ”
Dai Chuanhui did not notice that Mao Yisheng on the side breathed a sigh of relief, as if he had eaten a reassuring pill.
He reached out and took an orange from the fruit plate, peeled it and handed it to his wife's mouth: "Today's orange is sweet, you taste it." ”
Dai Chuanhui chewed oranges while looking at Mao Yisheng, and in a trance she felt as if she had returned to the days when they had just been married.
Mao Yisheng tugged on the hem of his clothes, and somewhat hesitantly told his wife about the newly carried out activities of the party and the government: "Recently, the state has launched a 'loyal and honest campaign', and everyone has actively confessed their mistakes in work and life. ”
Dai Chuanhui threw an orange to Mao Yisheng disapprovingly, motioned for him to peel it off for her, and then muttered, "Is there anything else I don't know about you?" ”
Mao Yisheng clutched the orange tightly and took a deep breath: "I have a confidant with a red face outside, called Quan Guiyun..." He paused for a moment and then continued: "We also have a daughter, Mao Yulin."
Mao Yisheng's younger daughter Mao Yulin
He paused, trying to say something more, but when it came to his mouth, he swallowed it again.
Dai Chuanhui, who was still immersed in sweet memories, froze for a moment, the newspaper in her hand fell from her hand, she leaned down to pick it up, raised her head to look at Mao Yisheng, and did not speak for a long time.
Mao Yisheng looked into his wife's eyes and suddenly felt a burning sensation on his face.
He hurriedly skimmed his head and looked out the window, it was already evening, the sunset was west, the dim light was shining through the window into the house, mao Yisheng felt that he was a little overwhelmed.
Dai Chuanhui said slowly, "When did it start?" How much more between you I don't know? ”
In the face of his wife's questioning, Mao Yisheng was shocked, he did not look over his head and looked out the window, and sighed deeply.
His thoughts suddenly returned to the night when he and Kwon Guiyun first met. Her gentle intellect, virtuousness and kindness made Mao Yisheng covetous.
At night, the two returned to the bedroom to rest as usual, but tonight they were doomed to sleepless. The two lay on the bed back to back, tossing and turning, each with his own heart.
Mao Yisheng and his wife Dai Chuanhui
Husbands and wives who were once loving are now in the same bed and have different dreams.
Dai Chuanhui looked at the moon outside the window, remembering the days when they were in love with each other, and tears flowed from the corners of his eyes.
One bright morning in 1912, the big red flower palanquin, the tall horse, and the Mao family's house were surrounded by water, all of which showed that she was about to have a husband who loved her, a happy family.
She loves him and is willing to give everything for him, even herself.
She knows that bridge construction is his lifelong dream, and she is willing to serve as his solid backing, allowing him to devote himself to his bridge cause without worries.
Whenever he read at night, she would silently light a kerosene lamp, make him a cup of hot tea, and pick up the newspaper to read. Mao Yisheng was tired of studying and stretched his waist, looking to the side of her, . After a busy day, she had already fallen asleep on the case, and he carefully walked over to her and draped her with a blanket.
During the time he studied abroad, she thought about him every day, thought about him, and often ran to the docks to see if there were any ships returning from the United States, whether they carried her sweetheart home.
Finally, four years later, Mao Yisheng returned from his doctorate and pushed open the door of the house, and what came into his eyes was a woman wearing burlap clothes and an apron wandering around the kitchen, and beads of sweat dripped from her forehead and dripped into Mao Yisheng's soft heart.
He hugged her tightly, but was surprised to find that she seemed to be getting thinner and smaller, and he seemed to be able to wrap her whole body in his arms. The boy who used to be nursing in his swaddling was also becoming more and more like a little adult.
The most memorable thing for her was the days when Tongmao Yisheng was running around.
Mao Yisheng, who returned from school, received the best education in bridge construction, and at this time, the country was employing people, and Mao Yisheng, who had once been reused, was sent to all parts of the country for work guidance, and she followed his footsteps closely and did not dare to stop for a moment.
Behind a successful man there will always be a woman who is willing to be willing to be willing to feed him.
From the moment she learned of her husband's transfer, she began to pack up the luggage needed for moving half a month in advance, entrusted people to help find a new home, sorted out various documents for the transfer of six children, although busy, she was happy.
No matter how late he worked, whenever he turned into the alley on the corner he could see a dimly lit window and see her sitting by the window waiting.
A coal lamp, a bowl of hot dishes, a beautiful person waiting.
She was proud of him, but also worried about him.
In 1949, her psychology began to have problems, and she was depressed for a while, and the root cause of her depression was still him - Mao Yisheng.
It seems that a smooth life often provokes the jealousy of The Heavenly Father.
After returning to China, Mao Yisheng was transferred to the director of the Zhenjiang Water Conservancy Bureau, responsible for the construction of the embankment, but the weather was unpredictable, and the embankment that her husband was responsible for building collapsed, and she was worried that he would not be able to prove his innocence by being involved, and she was even more afraid that he would die here.
During that time, she was often awakened by nightmares in the middle of the night, and even cried out loud, waking up Mao Yisheng, who was asleep next to her.
He took her in his arms, gently patted her back, gently comforted her, and saw that his wife's mood was gradually calming down before he was willing to sleep peacefully.
Later, Mao Yisheng was assigned to be responsible for the construction of the Qiantang River Bridge, and her condition also began to recur, and with the completion of the Qiantang River Bridge project, her condition began to gradually improve until she recovered.
Qiantang River Bridge
Thirty years of friendship, thirty years of wind and rain, not abandoned, so that she has enough confidence to say that sentence: "The biggest advantage of being his wife is that you never have to worry about him getting into trouble." ”
Mao Yisheng family portrait
Mao Yisheng's confession destroyed the last line of defense in her heart, looking back at her past self, once she was like a big joke.
She lay on the bed, staring out the window in the darkness, the night like a big net wrapped tightly around her, she struggled and shouted, but she could not move at all. It was as if there were countless pairs of eyes staring at her in the darkness of the dark night, and the gaze was full of mockery and contempt, burning her with pain.
Mao Yisheng's confession did not exchange his wife's forgiveness, but on the contrary caused strong dissatisfaction among his children.
Mao Yisheng and his son Mao Yuyue
Especially the eldest son, Mao Yuyue, who is far away in Switzerland, has never returned home once, and every time he writes to his mother, how many times he wants to accuse his father of shameless behavior, but he thinks that his mother will recall a sad past when he sees the letter, and he endures it.
Mao Yisheng often wrote to his son because he missed him, but all of them sank into the sea, without exception.
Mao Yisheng's confession soon reached the ears of Kwon Gui's mother and daughter, and she sat in front of the bed, her brows furrowed, and her eyes staring directly at the kettle that was grunting on the stove, just like her anxious heart.
What should my daughter and I do, how Dai Chuanhui will treat us, and how will he respond.
She remembered the outer chamber where the newspaper had been published the other day saying that she had been abandoned by men, and she couldn't help but bite her lower lip.
Mao Yisheng and Quan Guiyun
At this time, the door was pushed open with a creak, and Quan Guiyun's thoughts were also interrupted, she looked up at Mao Yisheng, who had just entered the door, and then looked at her little daughter, and said word by word: "What to do?" ”
Mao Yisheng's hand that took off his hat suddenly stopped in mid-air, and he felt that there were countless chaos wrapped around his heart, cutting continuously, and straightening out chaos.
He slowly hung the hat in his hand on the hanger and let out a long sigh.
At this point, we can only take one step at a time.
Day by day, Mao Yisheng went home as usual every day, even more times than before. He often takes the initiative to take on some of the housework of mopping the floor, and will also give her some favorite dishes when eating.
After dinner, Dai Chuanhui often sat on the sofa and looked out the window in a daze, and Mao Yisheng accompanied her, sharing with her interesting things that had happened at work in recent days, or quietly reading to her on the side.
In his later years, Dai Chuanhui and Mao Yisheng
Maybe he felt a little indebted to her.
But she always didn't talk, she didn't go out, her eyes were sluggish, and when she talked to her, the response she got was always a faint word or two: "Well, good." ”
Gradually, there were fewer and fewer words between them, and the two hearts that had been closely relied on them became farther and farther apart.
Whenever she saw him, her mind always thought involuntarily, thinking of Quan Guiyun's mother and daughter snuggled up with her husband, her emotions would suddenly get out of control.
The warm picture of Kwon Guiyun's mother and husband lingered in her mind, making her unable to sleep all night.
Soon, Dai Chuanhui was diagnosed with a recurrence of depression, and several attempts to commit suicide were unsuccessful. Looking at his once cheerful wife depressed, Mao Yisheng was anxious.
Dai Chuanhui
He looked around to see if there was a cure.
One day, he heard a friend mention that there is a sleep treatment method in Xiehe Hospital that is very effective in treating depression, so he hurriedly left the work at hand and ran to inquire.
There are still medicine stones to cure the disease of the skin, but there is no medicine to cure the heart disease.
There is no greater grief than heart death, and Dai Chuanhui's body is not as good as a day.
Finally, one night in 1967, Dai Chuanhui lay quietly in bed, slept quietly, and never woke up again.
At the funeral, Mao Yisheng looked at the portrait of his wife, she was smiling at him, laughing so softly, in a trance time returned to the original point, her voice and smile shuttled through Mao Yisheng's mind, as if to remember their life.
The children who heard the news of their mother's death rushed to hear the news, and they cried out in a hoarse voice, as if they were attacking their father. In their hearts, they secretly felt that if it were not for their father's betrayal, their mother would not have died of depression.
He wrote a eulogy for his wife with tears: a lifetime of hard work, half a life of sorrow, negative Qing Yuji; full of love, thousands of miles to stay, benefit me how much.
After the funeral, none of Mao Yisheng's six children ever came to see her again.
Mao Yisheng and four daughters
After Dai Chuanhui left, Mao Yisheng often sat alone on the sofa where she often sat, remembering the scene of the day of confession. If he hadn't confessed, maybe she wouldn't have gone.
His wife had already died because of him, and he couldn't bear to see Kwon Gye Mau's mother and daughter hurt because of him.
A year later, he made a decision that no one could understand: to take Kwon's mother and daughter to live together in the house.
This act completely chilled the hearts of the six children. What followed was the resentment of his children and the accusations of his relatives and friends, and he just did not say a word.
Since Dai Chuanhui left, Mao Yisheng often wrote to his children, hoping to ask their forgiveness, especially his most beloved eldest son, Mao Yuyue.
In 1967, Mao Yisheng was reading a newspaper at home, and when he learned that his eldest son Mao Yuyue, who was far away in Switzerland, was returning to China, he unconsciously squeezed the newspaper in his hand, and while he was happy, he thought that he must be different from before.
He hurriedly cleaned the house inside and out, cleaned up his son's room, and went to the cloth shop to pull a new bed sheet cover. I am afraid that my son is not accustomed to living abroad, and he has specially purchased new furniture for him.
Countless scenes of his meeting with his son rolled through his mind, and in the days that followed, he said, "My son is coming back."
However, after Mao Yue returned to China, he insisted on refusing to go home and stay in a nearby hotel, refusing to compromise no matter how much his relatives and friends persuaded him. Mao Yisheng, who was nearly eighty years old, had to drag his elderly body to the hotel to meet his son.
On this day, he did not wait to imagine the warm picture of father's kindness and filial piety, only a cold word: there is no me without her, as long as Quan Guiyun's mother and daughter do not leave for a day, he will never go home.
This sentence was like a sharp thorn that deeply stung Mao Yisheng, and he trembled and held Mao Yuyue's hand, his eyes full of tears: "How can you accept it?" Do you want me to kneel for you? ”
Mao Yuyue's heart clattered, how could he bear to see his elderly father kneeling in front of him, as a child, how filial he should be.
He wanted to reach out to comfort him, but when he thought of his mother's years of hard work in exchange for his father's betrayal, the hand that had just been extended withdrew back.
For more than ten years after Dai Chuanhui left, Mao Yisheng has been deeply trapped in a whirlpool of regret and guilt, and he has tried his best to make up for his debt to his original wife and children on Quan Guiyun's mother and daughter.
Mao Yisheng and his daughter Mao Yulin
During the time when Kwon Guiyun bathed and moved to the Mao family to live with Mao Yisheng, Mao Yulin had a complete family for the first time and felt the warmth of the family.
Mao Yisheng's pain Quan Guiyun's mother and daughter all looked in their eyes and hurt in their hearts.
As he grew older, Mao Yisheng's body was not as good as before, and there was also pressure on his work and thoughts, which caused him to suffer from stomach cramps, and often stomach pain was unbearable because of mental pain.
At this time, Kwon Guiyun was also mentally tortured, and she could not bear to see Mao Yisheng trapped in self-blame and guilt for the past. She understood that all this had nothing to do with her.
Whenever Mao Yisheng's stomach pain was unbearable, she would boil an egg for him, and it would not hurt if she wanted to press it.
Under the pressure of day after day of thought, Kwon Guiyun's body gradually weakened, and she often said: "Next year, if I don't die, I will make a new cotton jacket."
But until her death, she was still wearing the old black cotton jacket.
In the face of Quan Guiyun's death, Mao Yisheng, who was more than eighty years old, could no longer support it, and he could not afford to fall ill in just one year.
In his later years, Mao Yisheng, who was bedridden, had only one young daughter by his side.
His condition was so severe that he could not get out of bed and walk, and he could only sit in a wheelchair, and Mao Yulin often pushed him to the balcony outside to warm up.
Mao Yulin asked playfully while massaging him, "Dad, can you still recite the hundred digits behind the decimal point of Pi?" ”
He smiled and looked at Mao Yulin: "It's not easy to say." ”
Mao Yulin would stupidly murmur to the side, "I definitely can't remember." ”
In the last period of the hospital, his condition was always repeated, and suddenly one day, he held Mao Yulin's hand tightly and murmured, "I'm leaving." His eyes filled with tears.
Not long after, Mao Yisheng's condition continued to deteriorate due to high fever, and until the day of his death, he did not wait for the letter of understanding from his son Mao Yuyue.
Mao Yisheng spent the entire second half of his life repenting to make up for the mistakes he had committed in the first half of his life, and he thought that everything had come to an end.
It wasn't until the last moment of his life that he understood that not all confessions would be forgiven.