Heartbeat 4 progresses to the 7th issue, and many viewers may be overwhelmed by The Tangled Love Affair of Macon Orange, thinking that it is still a two-way love sweetness. In this episode, melody and simon's relationship can be said to be sweeping uneasiness and one-click preference.
But when you finally calm down and look at this relationship from the perspective of a rational God, you may as well have more layers of thinking and worry.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >01. </h1>
Melody and Simon's relationship was actually very logical from the beginning. Two dates, Simon's intimate affairs are no big or small. Melody has always been in a pot of peaches that is unconditionally favored, and occasionally has the illusion of whether to "really move" or just "be moved".
Because it is a show, and there is indeed no boy on the scene who is more unconditionally attached to her than simon, and romantic to the point of poking his heart, it is too difficult to fully determine melody's true intentions only through the screen. But in fact, there are too many feelings in life, and they are just blinded by preference.
A friend once talked about a relationship that was favored to the point of fearlessness. Because she was hurt by the scumbag, when the second boy was unconditionally good to her, even if she was not completely touched by it at first, she also agreed to the relationship between the two.
After that, when someone asked her, why would you be with him? She thought about it for a long time, but finally she just said that he was good to me.
So good that he would agree to anything I said, and he would praise everything he did. Who doesn't want to be spoiled like a princess. In this favored relationship, he gave me enough security and satisfied my vanity.
But soon they broke up anyway. "He said maybe I didn't like him that much, I was just doing my girlfriend's duty." Although it is really happy to be together, it always feels like something is almost something. ”
I told her that you can't take a guy's goodness to you as a measure of affection. He can be nice to you because he likes it, or he can be bad for you because he doesn't like it so much. You should find his inner shining point, that is the lasting driving force of the relationship.
"He's gentle just because he likes me. I was gentle with him, and I wanted to give it to him just because I had accepted his kindness. ”
But feelings are far from being a trade that balances gains and losses based on emotion. I hope to like someone, is to see more detailed things.
I think of a colleague who has asked her who is married, and when she talks about her marriage, there is a little bit of sparkling softness and happiness in the ordinary. That's what it looks like to really fall in love with someone in a relationship.
"My husband was also the one who liked it a lot at first. But I initially felt that he was very responsible and had a strong learning ability. I appreciate some of his points, so we try to get involved. And these points really became an opportunity for my trust and determination. ”
"Later, the feelings gradually flattened. It doesn't matter who has more and who is less, but he still treats me very well. I'm not bad for him either. Our preferences are based on love. ”
So, at the beginning of the feelings, do not take the touch as sugar on the head. Think about it, do you really like the person in front of you? Why do you like him?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >02. </h1>
Melody and Simon's relationship is so good that every day of life seems to be a pink bubble. But this is only because they are in love, that is, the climax of their feelings.
But no matter how strong the heartbeat, it is impossible to maintain the threshold of the peak, and love will eventually become life, involving the collision of value attitudes such as outlook on life and world view.
Melody and Simon have not yet begun to enter life, although there have been several brief exchanges, but each time they can feel the embarrassment across the screen. Actually, to be honest, Simon didn't understand melody that well.
Only through the screen, melody is at the forefront of fashion, but also can sing, cheerful and generous. But in fact, when it comes to feelings, she is still very sensitive and careful.
Her honesty with her friends, not yet fully "opening herself up," is enough to show that melody wants feelings that are slow-paced exchanges and understandings. She needs a boy who understands the softness and fragility of her heart and is just right to encourage her and comfort her.
The chat of the Ferris wheel, to put it bluntly, is a self-proclaimed death conversation. The heart-to-heart of the enclosed space is the best opportunity, Melody confessed her past, even if Simon can ask a "why" and do a good job of comforting, I am afraid melody will not be so disappointed.
Rationally, Melody and Simon may not be as appropriate as they might think. Although Simon is romantic and gentle, in essence, the attributes of the little boy are really quite obvious.
Rather than focusing on the complex inner world of others, Simon cares more about his own desire to talk and look back at his own experiences. He may not have even considered whether his own affairs need to be conveyed, but only because he liked it, because he trusted it, so I told you everything in one mind.
But you can't always go through the past every time I'm weak. The knots in the heart are not opened, and feelings cannot naturally break through the things that the heart really cares about, and it is difficult for them to grow freely.
Thinking of What Joe once said, in this world, it is not uncommon to encounter love and encounter sex. Rarely, encounter understanding.
I think that's really more important than just favoritism.
That's why I'm worried about whether melody is just not good enough to refuse simon's kindness, but the accumulation value of the heartbeat is actually far from enough.
On some surfaces, maybe melody and simon's work experience is very similar, Internet-related, are being chased by time, trying to balance their lives. But the inner part, especially the part related to feelings, at least in terms of the current chat situation, is really lacking in some resonance.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >03. The essence of understanding is to find a better self. </h1>
In the Japanese drama "We Can't Be Beasts", it once depicted what a relationship looked like when it happened.
"You can hear the bell ringing."
This is a very subtle metaphor, but real feelings, there must be those appropriate moments, will suddenly resonate like a feeling of some kind of sincere communication.
Couples who feel like they're in love understand. My heart beats faster, as if a little person has burrowed into his heart. "She's someone who understands my thoughts."
Empathetic empathy is the highest state of emotional exchange, because at that moment, through the pupils of people who like people, I seem to see another self.
But isn't that the nature of the pursuit of intimacy? Just like psychological research shows that you are initially attracted to someone because of an emotional need for understanding. In other words, you need him, so you fall in love with him.
A good intimate relationship can be used to help us know ourselves, examine ourselves, and heal our wounds and find our true selves.
Listening to the radio station "Don't Talk about the Sky Si" a few days ago, the first issue of the discussion on "what is the basis for long-term intimacy", there is a point that I still remember:
"After a long time in love, you will no longer take whether you are moved as a measure of feelings." It's deeper, and even something ugly. ”
"He understood some of my bad thoughts, and I tolerated some of his negative thoughts." In a comfortable intimate relationship, they can talk about their knots and scars without hesitation, and give reciprocal relief and positive feedback.
"He helped me accept myself and told me that I was as I was. He loves me like that, and that's a very important thing for me. ”
Therefore, you can understand that intimacy begins with the heartbeat, maintains love and being loved, but must be firmly determined to understand and appreciate the identity.
As the humanistic philosopher Eric Fromm put it.
Immature love, because I need you, so I love you;
Mature love is because I love you, so I need you.
The ultimate goal of intimacy is not to give and receive love from each other, but to help us understand that we are the love we have been looking for.
Writing about melody and simon's feelings is precisely to think about this.
May every relationship be favored at the same time, but also under mutual understanding, common forgiveness, common growth.
There are stars in the eyes, I like it. I'm looking forward to the follow-up run-in between the two
I'm Kuriyama, and this is the "tavern" I opened dedicated to talking about emotions and stories about growing up in life
There are not many articles in the early stage of the account, but each article wants to be completed with quality and quantity. If you really like my text, I hope to pay attention to me, and I hope to continue to produce more worthwhile articles in the future, bringing you a little sympathy and resonance. ❤️