When it comes to marriage, bride price and dowry are unavoidable topics, as they are one of the ancient marriage customs in the mainland.
However, people tend to focus first on the specific amount of the bride price, and some of the high bride price often overwhelm the man's family, and those parents who have sons in the family even start to prepare the bride price and real estate for their sons at an early age.
Because of this, the state has also introduced relevant policies to limit the high bride price.
As for the dowry, it is according to the wishes of the woman's parents and belongs to a dispensable existence.
Even if the woman has a dowry, it is basically the man's dowry that is more than the woman's dowry.
But you know what? There was such a dynasty on the mainland, but the situation was the opposite.
The bride price required for the marriage of the man is relatively small, while the dowry of the woman is often several times that of the man.
Many families will even go bankrupt in order to prepare a rich dowry for their daughters.
This dynasty was the Song Dynasty.
In the Song Dynasty, the trend of "thick marriage" was extremely prevalent
In the TV series "Do You Know", the Sheng family is only a five-grade petty official family, but the dowries of the daughters in the family are quite considerable. Even the old lady's dowry has not been exhausted for a lifetime.
You may say that this is just a TV series, a fictional plot.
But the Song Dynasty's generous marriage was a real and fairly common phenomenon.
In the early years of Song Huizong, Su Shi's younger brother Su Zhe served as one of the "Eight Masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties" and served as a doctor in Taizhong. From this point of view, he has some achievements in his career, and theoretically his family background should not be too bad.
But in order to prepare a dowry for his daughter, he racked his brains.
even did not hesitate to sell the manor he bought in Bianliang in his early years, and finally scraped together "9,400 yuan" to let his daughter bring the scenery into her in-law's house.
"Nine thousand four hundred" is 9,400 guan.
According to the "History of the Song Dynasty", the annual income of an ordinary family at that time was about 300 yuan, and the purchasing power of 1 copper coin at that time was about 600 yuan today, and 9,400 yuan was five or six million yuan.
This figure is not only the income of ordinary people in 30 years at that time, but even now it is staggering.
Su Zhe said with emotion in his diary that he was simply "smashing the pot and selling iron to marry a girl".
And this is only the dowry of one of the daughters, he has 5 daughters.
Su Zhe wrote a poem "Buying a House" in his later years, which began with the words: "I don't have a house when I am old, and the sons think it is true." ”
It means that I am so old that I don't have a house of my own, which causes my sons to complain constantly.
In fact, Su Zhe originally had a house in his early years, but because he wanted to marry his daughter, he sold all the houses.
In order to get a dowry for his daughter, he almost went bankrupt and stretched thin.
But among the scholars at that time, this could only be regarded as relatively modest.
The notorious Qin Hui's wife, Wang, was born in the family of the famous prime minister Wang Qi of the Northern Song Dynasty, and she directly brought a dowry of 200,000 yuan when she got married.
You may say that this is because the woman wants to climb high or to tie up with the man, so she carries the dowry to her.
Not really!
Song Shenzong once sighed: "Marrying a princess costs 700,000 yuan!" ”
Marrying a princess costs as much as 700,000 yuan!
As a noble princess, there is naturally no such thing as Gao Pan, right? There's no such thing as stammering with a man, right?
However, it still costs a lot of money.
You must know that the prince of the Song Dynasty got married, and the bride price and the wedding event cost 100,000 yuan.
This kind of generous marriage not only exists among the royal family and nobles, but even the dowry of ordinary people marrying daughters is a large expense.
The classic work of the Song Dynasty's family motto "Shifan" says:
"It is not easy to save clothes and dowry in the morning, and to give them in marriage. If you don't ask, but call it temporary, what's the trick? But the temporary mantian ......"
If you have a daughter, you need to prepare for her dowry as early as possible, and if you wait until your daughter is married, how can you do it in time? I'm afraid I have to sell my house and my land.
Why did the Song Dynasty attach so much importance to their daughter's "generous marriage"?
If the dowry is not rich, it will be difficult for the daughter to marry off
The Song Dynasty was a dynasty of economic prosperity and cultural prosperity.
The commercial prosperity of the Song Dynasty made the pursuit of wealth even more fervent.
Under the influence of the social atmosphere of "marriage does not ask about the valve, only seeks wealth", wealth has become the primary criterion for judging the marriage of the Song people.
"Ten miles of red makeup" originated in the Ningshao area of Zhejiang during the Southern Song Dynasty.
In the Song Dynasty, the practice of lavish marriage prevailed, and a woman's dowry often included a large amount of land, property, furniture, utensils, etc., and may even stretch for several miles, forming a very spectacular dowry procession.
The whole society has formed a culture of emphasizing the richness of the woman's dowry in marriage, which is generally measured by this.
In the Song Dynasty, it was widely believed that a rich dowry could reflect the strength of the woman's family and the care for her daughter, and also make her more status and dignity in her in-law's family.
Therefore, in addition to the common valuables such as gold, silver and jewelry, various fabrics used to make clothes, furniture and other items, and even some daily necessities such as delicate tableware and tea sets will also be prepared.
Real estate such as land and shops are used to ensure that the daughter has a stable source of income in the future.
All kinds of precious paintings, calligraphy, antiques, etc., not only highlight the family cultural heritage, but also increase the value of the dowry.
In addition to these, it is not uncommon to even have a coffin as part of the dowry.
It can be said that almost all the expenses needed for her daughter's life were brought to her in-law's house.
A generous dowry, on the one hand, can provide a certain amount of financial security for daughters, so that they can have more autonomy and security in their married life.
In addition to this, the laws of the Song Dynasty are also quite powerful.
Laws such as the Song Penal Code clearly stipulate that the woman has certain property rights to the dowry, and the husband's family may not encroach on it at will, even if the husband and wife are separated, the woman can take the dowry away.
The woman's dowry was private property, and in the Song Dynasty, if the husband used his wife's dowry at will, it was considered an act of indecency and dignity.
Such behavior is often widely perceived as a manifestation of greed and incompetence, and is thus ridiculed by others.
Because of this, this also makes the mother's family more willing to give a generous dowry to ensure the rights and interests of the daughter.
In addition, the Song Dynasty paid attention to the right person for marriage, and a high dowry was often regarded as one of the necessary conditions for marriage with a high-ranking family.
As a result, the various classes seem to be caught in a kind of self-contest over the richness of the dowry.
In order to show their financial resources and status, wealthy families will compete to spend a lot of money on their daughter's dowry, and strive to be extremely luxurious, and all kinds of rare jewelry and valuables have been included in the dowry.
Even if the economic conditions are limited, they will do their best to prepare a relatively generous dowry, so as not to be looked down upon, and this mentality also invisibly exacerbates the atmosphere of comparison.
Even some families who are not well-off, in order not to fall behind in the trend of heavy marriage, do not hesitate to spend everything and borrow money to prepare the dowry, this phenomenon of blind comparison reflects to a certain extent a side of the social atmosphere at that time.
To sum up: if the dowry is not rich, it will be difficult for the daughter to marry.
However, as the trend of generous marriage became more and more serious, some poor families could not afford to prepare a rich dowry, so in ancient times when early marriage and early childbearing were advocated, there were "older leftover women".
Women marry late, do not marry, and even brutally kill or abandon baby girls after they are born.
The "History of the Song Dynasty" records: "The secular people are happy when they give birth to men, and they are relatives when they give birth to girls, and there are even those who do not lift their daughters."
This, in turn, has led to the very high incidence of trafficking of women.
The madness of catching a son-in-law under the list
In addition to preparing a rich dowry, those who have daughters in the family will even carry out "catching sons-in-law under the list".
In the Song Dynasty, there was a fashion of respecting literature and suppressing martial arts, and the status of civil officials was quite high.
The imperial examination has become the main way to promote the ranks, providing more opportunities for the children of the poor to enter the ranks.
In order to attract talented scholars, wealthy families often lure them into their sons-in-law through lucrative dowries.
Therefore, whenever the imperial examination list is released, those families with daughters will look for suitable candidates under the list as early as possible.
In particular, some businessmen, in order to change their status, are willing to pay a huge amount of dowry to marry the person on the list.
There will even be a chaotic situation of several people competing for bids under the list, which further promotes the emergence and prevalence of the phenomenon of high marriage.
Not only businessmen, but even dignitaries with daughters will participate in the ranks of "catching sons-in-law under the list".
In the Song Dynasty, there was a new science and technology scholar named Gao Gao, although his talent and character were average, but he was "caught" by Prime Minister Kou Zhun and became his niece and son-in-law.
After the death of his wife, another prime minister, Li Xin, married his daughter to Gao Xuxian.
Ouyang Xiu, who was born in poverty, soon became the son-in-law of Xue Kui, who participated in the governor's political affairs, after he ascended to the department during the Tiansheng year.
This phenomenon of "catching a son-in-law under the list" was very common at that time, and it also further promoted the prevalence of the trend of "thick marriage".
epilogue
During the Song Dynasty, people racked their brains and exhausted their minds in order to give their daughters a rich dowry.
With the continuous development and progress of society, the trend of generous marriage of women in the Song Dynasty has gradually disappeared.
And when the time passes to the present, many people have spent a lot of time because of the bride price of their sons.
I have to sigh that the changes of the times are really wonderful.
However, the present era is completely different from that of the Song Dynasty.
Modern society places more emphasis on equality, freedom and independence, and marriage should not only be based on material foundations, but also on the emotional foundation and the compatibility of both parties.