#评论区表情包##挑战30天在头条写日记##头条创作挑战赛#
There are some adults who have wounded children living in their hearts, and for them, tomorrow is unknown and fearful, so they use the way of burning their lives to avoid suffering and live only today.
Picture | Stills from "Spring Tide".
Ms. Xia is known for her reputation as a "gambler", and the town is probably around 5 years old. At that time, someone came to me and asked me what my mother was doing, so I did the action of touching, drawing, and playing cards in the air, and finally pushed into the air and said, into a fight.
That was when I first remembered, and it was also when Ms. Xia made a name for herself through gambling.
In the 90s, the "King of Gamblers" series of movies portrayed Chow Yun-fat's image as the king of gamblers, and Ms. Xia was dubbed the "King of Gamblers" on our street because she was the biggest winner at the table during that time and she would play very big cards to win or lose.
How big it is, according to Ms. Xia's later account, she won tens of thousands of yuan in a few months, which was indeed a huge amount of money in that era when the salary was only two or three hundred yuan.
Ms. Xia spends a lot of money and uses money to solve any conflict, and she often tries and tried.
My grandmother, Granny Xiang'e, was the first to defect under Ms. Xia's money offensive. At first, Xiang'e's mother-in-law did not like her, stating that the reason was that she played cards and did not do housework, but the actual reason was the mother-in-law's innate hostility towards her new daughter-in-law. Granny Xiang'e has three daughters-in-law, none of whom she likes.
When Ms. Xia went out to play cards, leaving me alone at home, my mother-in-law Xiang'e would also pressure me to learn a few words to bury my mother, and forced me to wait for my mother to come back from playing cards and tell her in person, what is too lazy to criticize, regardless of the doll.
In the face of such provocations, Ms. Xia does not complain, does not accuse, and directly launches a money offensive, every time she comes back from playing cards, she will give my grandmother more red when she wins, and there are hundreds of yuan when she wins, plus she buys a few clothes for the New Year's holidays and sweetens her mouth, and after a few times, Xiang'e's mother-in-law is smiling when she sees my mother again, and her eyes are only smiling.
I am the biggest beneficiary of Ms. Xia's spending, when my friends of the same age racked their brains in order to find a few cents to buy snacks at home, I have 5-100 yuan of pocket money every day, the specific amount depends on what cards Ms. Xia plays today, if it is to "catch three skins", this is a big name, Ms. Xia generally has only 100 yuan in her hands Grandpa Mao, so today's pocket money is a Grandpa Mao.
If I go to play mahjong, then it may be 5, 10, or 20 pieces, and Ms. Xia will randomly draw one for me. Then I called a group of friends out to eat, drink and have fun, and I had a treat.
Lady Tosha's blessing, I was once the most envied child in the family.
There are many events in Ms. Xia's legend, and these are the most widely spread.
The first thing was that one day, Ms. Xia, who was in her 20s, finished playing mahjong at night, walked home alone, walked downstairs to the house, took out the key and was about to open the door, when she heard a person riding a bicycle from far and near behind her, and then stopped behind her. A young man's voice stopped him, pointing to the plaque at the door and asking if this was the Food Bureau, Ms. Xia replied casually, no, this is her own home, just because she sells grain, so she hung a plaque.
Because there are usually many misunderstandings, Ms. Xia didn't take it to heart, the man said that it was like this, but his body got closer and closer, until Ms. Xia felt that something was wrong, and a knife was already against her waist. The man said, "Don't scream, come with me."
Ms. Xia had goosebumps all over her body, at that time there were several cases of young girls being raped and killed in the town, and now she can't run, she pretended to be calm and said, I am already married, the child is several years old, this is my home, my man is at home, I will come down when I shout, you go now, I can act as if nothing happened.
The man didn't say anything, but the strength of the knife in his hand was a little stronger.
Just when the two of them were at a stalemate, a person's voice came from not far away, Xia xx, are you doing Qiaozi. It turned out to be a card friend of Ms. Xia, who passed by on the way home after the end of the game, and saw Ms. Xia and a young man standing at the door and pulling, so he made a joke.
The man behind him was distracted for a moment, and at this time, Ms. Xia quickly opened the door, ran in, closed the door again, and ran upstairs to wake up my dad. By the time my dad came down to check on the situation, there was no one to be seen.
I heard that later, the man was caught and soon sentenced to death.
Another time is because of me, I was black and ugly when I was a child, one day a colleague A of Ms. Xia came to my house, and when he saw me, he said, colleague B said that your child is ugly, I also watched it today, it's okay, it's not as ugly as B said, B himself doesn't have a chin, and he is embarrassed to say that the child is ugly.
B is another familiar female colleague of my mother, Ms. Xia was furious after hearing this, and she treated both A and B, but she did not have a seizure on the spot. Then, one day, my mother met B on the street, and after greetings, she pretended not to care and said, I heard A say that you said that my children are ugly, and children are ugly, and the eighteenth year of the female college has changed, and it is not certain what she will look like in the future, but A said that you yourself are ugly, without a chin, and have the face to say that other people's children are ugly.
B was very embarrassed to explain his behavior at first, but when he heard the second half, he was very angry, and after saying goodbye to my mother, he went to A to settle the score. Ms. Xia breathed a bad breath in her heart.
And the thing that made Ms. Xia famous in the first battle was to cut people with a knife, and it was also the only time in her life that she cut people. Among the card friends who played cards with her, there was a person who was famous for his toughness, this person's toughness was reflected in the scolding street, scolding the invincible opponents all over the neighborhood, it is said that her neighbors occasionally had conflicts with her, and she scolded her for three days in a row, scolded too badly, and watched her detour. Since then, her murderous reputation has spread throughout the neighborhood.
Then Ms. Xia won money in a row, so she was very, very unhappy, for several days to see Ms. Xia, were disrespectful, cynical, Ms. Xia did not pay attention to her at first, until one day, Ms. Xia when playing cards, fierce and fierce, said something more ugly, Ms. Xia stopped the cards in her hand, looked at her very calmly and said, you say again.
Biao disagreed, and continued to scold. Ms. Xia got up and walked to the house next door, and a few minutes later, she came back with a kitchen knife and said to Biao Gang, do you say one more word? Biao may feel a little wrong, but in front of so many card friends, I feel a little shameless to admit it, and my mother has always been known for her good temper, and she didn't take it too seriously, and continued to scold the next sentence, when this sentence was spoken, she felt a pain in her arm, and the people around her erupted into screams, rushing up. In the end, Ms. Xia's murderous reputation was laid down with a fierce injury.
According to Ms. Xia, she was young and vigorous at the time, and that person couldn't scold her, so she could only cut it, and she had to do whatever she thought of since she was young, and she didn't like to think about it.
In the eyes of many people, Ms. Xia's life is legendary and passionate.
But Ms. Xia also has another side that no one else knows, which is only occasionally revealed in front of me. Since I was five years old, Ms. Xia would tell me when I was alone with me to be strong, grow up well, and live whatever happened, because she had a hunch that she would not live for me to grow up. The first time I heard it, I was so scared that I cried. In the blur, I saw that Ms. Xia's face was also full of tears.
It was many years later that I realized that there were some adults who had a wounded child living inside under the appearance of an adult, who had a broken soul, who always had a premonition that something bad was going to happen, and that they were always in trouble. For these adults, tomorrow is unknown and fearful, so they use the way of burning their lives to avoid hardship and live only today.
In the summer of 1999, Ms. Xia left the town for Guangzhou. For the next 15 years, she became a small owner in the clothing business. It was an era when the clothing business was booming, and many people around the same period became rich overnight, becoming rich people with an annual income of hundreds of thousands to millions. And Ms. Xia and her husband perfectly screwed up every opportunity to get rich.
At first, she went with people from the same period to buy stalls in the clothing market, and these stalls skyrocketed in value after a few months, and Ms. Xia bought a stall, and then sold it before the price of the stall skyrocketed. At that time, if she didn't sell it and rent it to others, she could collect hundreds of thousands of rents every year with that stall. Her husband, who is my father, has completely collapsed his mentality for 20 years, and he has become addicted to eating, drinking, prostituting and gambling, living in his fantasy world of getting rich and unable to extricate himself.
In the next 20 years, every time they quarreled with each other, the stall they once owned would be pulled out and blamed each other.
Ms. Xia, who missed the get-rich stall and watched her husband start to collapse, did not complain, but made persistent efforts. Facts have proved that she still has some talent for the clothing business, and when the business is good, she can earn hundreds of thousands to more than one million a year.
In the years when the business was good, Ms. Xia cut her long black hair short, dyed it yellow, and permed small curls, which she said was the latest fashion. This hairstyle always reminds me of the male lion on the African savannah.
Ms. Xia, who made money, continued to spend money, such as using 1,000 yuan to buy an underwear. Xiang'e's mother-in-law, who was far away from her hometown, shook her head when she heard it, saying that the money was hot. I don't know if the money is hot Ms. Xia's hand, but Ms. Xia's gambling habit has always been there, and then every time the business is good for a while, she has to reward herself once. And every time, she lost her family and owed huge gambling debts, so she could only go back to her hometown for the New Year.
Relatives advised her not to indulge in gambling, Ms. Xia was very disdainful, she was not addicted to gambling, she was playing cards to relieve stress, or when the business was not good, she made money by playing cards, as for why she lost so badly, she would say, often walk by the river, how can she not wet her shoes.
Many years later, after studying psychology, I realized that one of the three major contradictions in life, the pursuit of success vs the fear of success, there are many people who will make some moths before or after achieving something to mess up everything.
But Ms. Xia is still very backbone, and she carries her gambling debts by herself. She fell into such a cycle, when the business is good, she is busy with business, when the business is bad, she goes to play cards, when the business is very bad, she goes to play bigger cards, and when she wins, she continues to play until she owes a huge amount of gambling debts, and then finds someone to borrow money to continue to do business, and when the business is good, she is busy with business to make money to pay off gambling debts, and if the business is bad, she goes to play cards again.
There were many times when I felt like her motivation to make money came from paying off gambling debts. There are also times when I wonder if there are people who are unbearable with normal life, who wants to get more excitement, to play cards, to go into debt, to spend a lot of money, to play with a heartbeat, and then only at this time she feels that she is alive.
By 2013, Ms. Xia's cycle was broken, the clothing industry experienced a transformation from offline to online, she did not keep up with the times, she could not make money, and this time, she owed the largest gambling debt in history, which is said to be in the millions. Ms. Xia, who was penniless, bought her a train ticket online from her uncle in her hometown, and she took nothing with her, took an ID card, and fled Guangzhou while the people who were watching her back were not looking. She walked away without any worries, and a few years ago I became a college student, and my dad became her ex-husband.
Ms. Xia fled all the way north to the northeast, and in order to survive, she worked in a factory, and then went to restaurants and hotels to apply as a waitress, as well as a nanny, but it did not last long, and some were fired without even getting paid. Ms. Xia is not good at work.
Before the survival problem was resolved, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She wasn't going to tell me that I had received a call from my uncle the day before her surgery, and that by the time I got to the hospital, she was in the operating room having one of her breasts removed. The moment she was wheeled out of the operating room to see me, she began to cry.
Later, she said that she didn't cry when she owed a huge gambling debt, didn't cry when she left Guangzhou, didn't cry when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and didn't cry before the operation, but she didn't know why, and she wanted to cry after seeing me. And I think Ms. Xia is cheating, because of her changes in circumstances, my life has suffered a lot of shocks, I have so much love, hate, complaining and incomprehension, and I have to wipe it out under the threat of death.
This was followed by a long period of chemotherapy, during which several patients in Ms. Xia's ward died.
One night, Ms. Xia felt uncomfortable falling asleep in the ward, so she sneaked to the lounge next door to sleep, and halfway through her sleep, she was woken up by the huge movement in the corridor outside. The night nurse went to check on the ward, found her absent, suspected that she had jumped off the building, and the whole hospital was looking for her. It's not uncommon for cancer patients to jump off buildings because they can't survive chemotherapy or out of fear of death.
Ms. Xia said that she was so stupid to seek death, why not live well. Then, after she was discharged from the hospital, she tattooed a rose on her chest to cover the scar of the operation.
After being discharged from the hospital, Ms. Xia went to work in a middle-aged and elderly marriage agency, became a matchmaker, matched each member with a blind date, and several members did not fall in love with the blind date, but fell in love with the matchmaker, Ms. Xia lived in her forties, and re-experienced the happiness of being pursued.
Soon, Ms. Xia fell in love. But these romances often end in nothing. However, through Ms. Xia's perspective, I have seen the joys and sorrows of many middle-aged and elderly people, which has satisfied a lot of curiosity.
In 2019, because of the opportunity to get married, Ms. Xia returned to her hometown after a few years of absence to attend my wedding, which was also the first time she and her ex-husband met after a few years.
At the wedding ceremony, there was a link to let the two pairs of parents kiss each other, the father-in-law and mother-in-law who have been in love for decades kissed each other face to face, and the couple who have been divorced for many years kissed each other mouth to mouth. In 2021, they actually resurrected and came together again, Ms. Xia said that they had been running in for 30 years and finally got together. After running in this life, I will be a husband and wife in the next life. I was speechless, remembering the joke on the Internet, I ran away for half my life, and I still came back as a family of three. It turned out that I was the only victim in this love.
It was also in this year that Ms. Xia overheard that her creditors had been arrested by the public security for being involved in crime, and Ms. Xia had no worries about being collected and returned to the town to live with peace of mind.
At the end of 2022, 8 years after being diagnosed with breast cancer, Ms. Xia had a high fever for more than 20 days and went to the hospital to find out that myelodysplastic syndrome, simply put, is pre-leukemia. For the first time, I knew that a person could be so unlucky and get cancer twice. A new round of treatment began, and this time the illness made Ms. Xia vulnerable, and the shadow of death followed.
One day, Ms. Xia was relieved from the pain of being tortured by illness, and when she was resting on the bed alone, she was crying silently, and then, suddenly, asked me a question, why did you say she did this to me.
She was referring to my grandmother.
The story between Ms. Xia and her grandmother took me decades to piece together.
On December 28, 1969, a peasant woman gave birth to twin daughters, and the one who came out five minutes early was Ms. Xia. The peasant woman who has just experienced a lot of hardships endured the pain, the first time to see the gender of the child, after seeing the gender of the two daughters, her heart was cold, although she already has a son and a daughter, but she has been looking forward to a son, in the countryside to give birth to a son only to raise her eyebrows, give birth to a daughter and quarrel with the neighbors have no confidence, will be poked in the backbone, face for this strong woman, is far more important than the daughters. Besides, she just sarcastically said a few days ago that her brother and daughter-in-law couldn't give birth to a son, and in a blink of an eye, she gave birth to two daughters, isn't this her own foot by moving a stone, shame, shame, giving birth to a daughter is a shame to her grandmother, and it is a shame to give birth to two daughters in one child.
She tried to kill them, but was stopped by the others. For 20 years, Ms. Xia was abused by her biological mother in her own home. Ms. Xia mentioned that her grandmother only had fear and hatred, and that anything her grandmother said must be implemented immediately, otherwise what she will wait for is a slap or a beating.
When she was five years old, one night she wanted to pee, the urinal was placed on a cabinet next to a bed, she groped and climbed up, peeed, and when she came down, she couldn't find the way down, and the groping movement woke up her grandmother, and her grandmother asked what she was doing, and the young Ms. Xia replied with a smile, Mom, I can't get down. Grandma replied, you disaster critic, move again, and I will beat you to death if you make a noise. Then roll over and continue to sleep.
When the young Ms. Xia heard that, she didn't dare to move, and sat on the urinal all night. Later, she remembered this scene many times, she hated her grandmother, and she hated herself even more for staying on the urinal that day. She couldn't understand why she was so stupid and really sat motionless on the urinal all night. I remember that night was very cold, I was very scared and frightened, my legs were numb on the urinal, but I didn't dare to make a little sound, it was an extraordinarily long night, and she never walked out of that night in her life.
There are many, many more things like that.
Later, when she grew up, Ms. Xia persuaded herself countless times that there was a reason why her grandmother did that, because her grandfather was working in the field, she had to pull 5 children alone, and she had to do heavy farm work, and she was very strong, she had to fight for the first place in everything, and she had to be the 38th Red Flag Bearer in the village every year. The stress and heavy workload of raising a child has made her understandably very short-tempered. But it was a pity that none of this could convince herself, or the wounded and painful soul of the five-year-old beneath the appearance of her fifties.
She tried her best to understand and forgive, but unfortunately there were some hurts that could not be relieved by hard work.
Ms. Xia, who can't convince herself, will comfort herself in the end, no way, she can't help but choose when she is born, who let herself be born at the bottom of society.
Ms. Xia was born in a wealthy rural family, Ms. Xia's grandfather was a landlord in the village, and her father held important positions in state-owned enterprises from a young age, rising all the way up the ranks, and finally retired as the deputy director of a certain unit. Ms. Xia's mother is very competitive and is the 38th Red Flag Bearer in the village. Ms. Xia's family was the first batch of 10,000 households in the village, and the first building in the village was built in the early 80s, which caused a sensation in the whole village and attracted the whole village to watch when it was completed.
Ms. Xia herself said that when other people's families were still generally unable to eat rice, her own family piled up piles of rice.
After starting to work, under the arrangement of her father, Ms. Xia entered a state-owned enterprise and ate commercial grain. According to today's statement, Ms. Xia can be regarded as a proper second generation of officials + rich second generation at that time. But Ms. Xia said that people are divided into three, six, and nine classes, and she was born in the lowest class of the ninth.
I have many times felt that the three, six, nine and so on that Ms. Xia said was not divided according to social class, nor was it divided according to the amount of money in the family, but actually according to the amount of love a person received, and according to a person's family status, she was the most inferior slave in her original family, and anyone could step on it.
For so many years, she thought that the lack of her heart could be made up for by money, by making a lot of money and spending a lot of money, but really when she earned a million a year, when she spent a lot of money, she found that it was not the case, no matter how much money she earned, the hollow in her heart seemed to swallow her, she was destined to be doomed, owed gambling debts, in debt, maybe the amount of money that a person can control is limited, people with psychological loopholes can't control too much money, more than this amount, will be counterattacked.
Ms. Xia's best friend is Aunt Jiujiu, and the friends of beautiful women are also beauties, Aunt Jiujiu is the beauty of the beauties, Ms. Xia is more envious of Aunt Jiujiu's family than Aunt Jiujiu's beauty, Aunt Jiujiu's original family is very poor, so poor that several children can't be fed, but the world is sometimes so wonderful, some families have no money but have a lot of love, Aunt Jiujiu has received a lot of love, and these loves give Aunt Jiujiu the confidence to fight against the world. Aunt Jiujiu became pregnant soon after the start of her first marriage, and when she was 9 months pregnant, the man cheated, and Aunt Jiujiu resolutely divorced and took the child by herself.
Aunt Jiujiu's second marriage started only ten years ago, and the man cheated when he went out to work, and Aunt Jiujiu resolutely divorced. In those days, these decisions were made out of deep love and courage.
Ms. Xia envied Aunt Jiujiu when she faced the hurt in the intimate relationship, she could see the injured part of herself, and then resolutely said no.
This kind of ability is not in Ms. Xia's body, if it is your mother who hurts you the most when you are a child, you will pretend not to be injured in order to survive, and if you pretend to be injured for a long time, you will lose the ability to perceive whether you are injured, and you will not have the courage to protect yourself.
Grandma has a lot of guilt for her daughters, but this guilt may have very limited meaning for her daughters.
In the spring of 2008, my grandmother went to the hospital for a physical examination when she was unwell, and her lung cancer was in an advanced stage. The doctor said that there was no need for treatment. In May 2008, my grandmother called Ms. Xia in Guangzhou, saying that she was sorry in this life and would make up for it in the next life. Ms. Xia thought she wouldn't cry, but when I saw her, she had been crying all night, and she asked me, I thought I hated her and had no feelings for her, but why would I be so sad when she died?
Who knows, it may be because love and hate are one, and there is love as much as you hate.
The love between Ms. Xia and my dad was also a big gamble. One day more than 30 years ago, 20-year-old Ms. Xia met a young man who had just been transferred in the next compound, they fell in love at first sight, quickly fell in love, got married in the same year, and a few months later, I came into this world.
In my childhood memories, they had a very good time, the young people of the 90s loved dance halls and dances, I had a record player at home, and occasionally they would put on a piece of music and then hug and dance in the bedroom, which was one of the most heartwarming images of my childhood. When I was young, my parents would tell me bedtime stories, my dad especially loved to tell his and my mother's love story, every time it was told differently, the only thing that was the same was that the female protagonist fell in love with the male protagonist at first sight, loved the male protagonist deeply, and the non-male protagonist did not marry, my mother rolled her eyes when she listened to it, and then said that she was married because my father said that his family conditions were good, and only to find out that he had been deceived when he married, and then the three of us would laugh together, and that picture felt happy until now when I think about it.
When Ms. Xia left me for Guangzhou in 1999, the reason was that my father had passed for two months and he needed someone to take care of him. Although I still don't understand why an adult needs to be taken care of more than a child of a few years old, I think this side shows that at least for Ms. Xia at that time, being by her husband's side was a more important thing.
When I was an adolescent, Ms. Xia rarely mentioned her love story, and even denied that there was no such thing as a happy memory before, and when she talked about her love experience, she would only say that there was no love in the world, and that there was no love between her and my father, but that hormones were at work, and it was only because of my father's good family conditions that I married him. Then it turned to educating me, telling me not to fall in love, and her love experience is a lesson from the past.
In fact, at this time, there were rumors about my dad's romance, I went to Guangzhou to meet my parents after the high school entrance examination, and I heard that my dad had a girlfriend outside, who was not a few years older than me. My mom's way of dealing with this was that every time she heard about it, she would ask my dad if it was true, and my dad said no, and she believed it.
Later, she also told me a thing, that is, at that time, she had a friend who was doing business together, one day, they walked through a small alley together, and the friend suddenly said to her, if a little boy came out of this alley, and he looked very much like Xiao Hei, what would my mother do? Little Black is my dad's nickname. My mom was stunned for a moment, and it wasn't until many years later that rumors of my dad having an illegitimate child outside were flying, and my mom understood the meaning behind it.
A lot of people don't understand why my mom trusts my dad so much. I can't understand why in the years when my dad was addicted to eating, drinking, prostituting and gambling, why she could tolerate a man who didn't make money or care about his family's temper and didn't do any work, and spent her money, while she was still obedient to my dad in life and took care of him in every way. After being puzzled, they came to the conclusion that true love. I scoffed at this explanation, but I didn't know why at the time. It wasn't until I thought about it for many years, and watched my mom's several relationships after the divorce repeat the pattern between her and my dad, happy at first, endured when there were conflicts, and finally couldn't bear to separate, that I realized that it was not so much that my mom believed in my dad, but that she was afraid of any conflict with someone close to her.
Every time she had a conflict with someone close to her, she seemed to go back to the night when she was five years old, back to her unbearable childhood, and the other party was no longer the other party, she became her grandmother in childhood, and after that, the conflict was not a conflict, it became the malice she felt at the beginning of her life that was enough to kill her. Because she is powerless to face this malice, she can only escape, pretending that there is no conflict and contradiction. Like an ostrich that buries its head in the sand when danger comes. When you can't bear it anymore, run away from this person's side. In response to the provocation of strangers, she learned to protect herself with a knife and how to deal with the harm caused by the people around her, and she did not learn how to answer this question in her life.
To this day, when Ms. Xia talks about my dad, she says that she and my dad are actually not bad people, but they both mature too late. In their fifties, the two are mature enough to deal with the problems in their marriage, but unfortunately time has passed, their daughter has grown up, and even someone's life may come to an end.
Since she was very young, Ms. Xia loved to talk about death, and when she was young, she said that she didn't need a funeral after she died, and she didn't want to buy a cemetery, just scatter her ashes into the river. Now she'll say, whatever you want, I'm hanging anyway. The funeral is all your business. My only request is that you make sure I'm dead before sending me to the crematorium. Ms. Xia has recently heard a lot of urban legends about people being sent to ice coffins/crematoriums before they die.
When she was young, she hated her hometown, there were too many painful memories here, she just wanted to escape, and finally left as she wished, and after she wandered outside for many years, after experiencing wanting to go back but not being able to go back, she found that she still wanted to return to her hometown to spend the rest of her life.
Ms. Xia, who has had cancer twice, is currently undergoing active chemotherapy and facing the threat of death, and sometimes I feel that Ms. Xia is a little more relaxed than her patients, and she spends her time living the rest of her life when the people in the ward complain about illness and fear. Every morning when she gets up, she will clean up her house, and then go out to buy groceries, cook, and when she has free time, she will still play small cards, for her now, playing cards is just a way to pass the time for entertainment.
Maybe part of this calmness is because she has faced the threat of death since she was born, she has been fighting against this threat for many years, with enough experience, she never complains, just faces, and part of the reason is because she has lived her life according to her own ideas, and the ending may not be happy, but she still has no regrets. （Nomi）
(All names in the article have been changed)
（摘编自微信公众号人间theLivings）