Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In a relationship, not only a woman's mind is difficult to fathom, but sometimes a man's mind is also complex and subtle.
He may really like you and his heart is full of feelings for you, but sometimes, he will be entangled and hesitant, and even want to give up.
At this time, you will feel it from some of his small actions or words.
For example, he will inadvertently say something that makes you scratch your head, or his eyes will be a little evasive, or he will suddenly stop talking.
These are all signals that he is struggling, struggling, whether to continue to be with you.
So, when you notice these subtle signs, maybe it's that he's torn between wanting to love you and giving up on you.
Below, we will explore these manifestations and help you better understand the inner world of men.
01
Sometimes it's as hot as fire, sometimes it's cold as ice
When a man wants to love you and give up on you, his passion often takes on a precarious state.
Sometimes, he will be very passionate about you, like a burning flame, and make you feel his deep love.
He will take the initiative to contact you, care about your daily life, and even create some romantic moments for you.
However, when he suddenly had the idea of giving up, his attitude would suddenly become cold as ice.
He no longer takes the initiative to contact you, replies perfunctorily to your messages, and sometimes even deliberately avoids you.
Behind this performance, it is actually the man's contradictions and struggles with you in the depths of his heart.
He wants to be with you, but he is worried about the uncertainty of the future or is under various pressures.
As Shakespeare said, "Love is blind, and lovers do not see the lovely silly things they do." ”
When a man wanders in this contradiction, he will behave, sometimes carried away by love, and sometimes awakened by reality.
02
Promises to you become blurred
When a man wants to love you and give up on you, his commitment to you will be ambiguous.
He is reluctant to give you a clear answer or, after promises, repeatedly postpone.
For example, when you ask him what he thinks about your relationship, he will remain silent or change the subject directly.
Another example is that I promised to take you home to meet your parents, but there was no movement. When you ask him, he will either find a reason to procrastinate, or he will be vague.
This is because, deep down, he still has a lot of worries about the future, he wants to be with you, but he is afraid of the responsibilities and constraints that come with commitment.
This vague promise is actually the uncertainty in the man's heart, so he is struggling.
Schopenhauer said: "Life is like a play, the important thing is not the length of the play, but how to interpret it." ”
In this contradiction, men are actually thinking about how to interpret their emotional lives.
03
Concern for you comes and goes
When a man wants to love you and give up on you, his concern for you will also come and go.
Sometimes, he will be very concerned about your every move and always pay attention to your needs and feelings; But sometimes, he will ignore your existence or even turn a blind eye to your unhappiness.
This is actually because he has a struggle inside, so there will be fluctuations in your attention.
Nana has encountered this situation, I don't know what's wrong recently, when her boyfriend is together, her boyfriend sometimes cares about her very much, no matter how big or small, he will ask about everything.
But sometimes, her boyfriend will completely ignore her, and he doesn't even visit her when she is sick at home.
This kind of intermittent concern. Nana felt very hurt and even more confused.
In fact, this is mostly because the man's feelings for you have wavered. He wants to be with you on the one hand, but he is worried that he will not be able to give you more.
On the other hand, he is very vacillating, feels that you are not suitable for each other, and does not know whether to separate or not, which leads to his attention to you is very unstable, sometimes good and sometimes bad.
When a man wants to love you and give up on you, he will show an attitude that is sometimes as passionate as fire and sometimes as cold as ice; Promises to you can also become blurred, and care for you will come and go.
When encountering this situation, as women, we should stay calm, and it is best to have a good chat with the man to see what he thinks, what dissatisfaction he has with the relationship, and why it has become so conflicted.
Find a way to resolve it, face and adjust it together, and everything still has a chance.