Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In the public's perception, a man who is happily married is simply a winner in life: he has a warm home, a wife who loves him, and a lovely child. Who doesn't envy this kind of life?
But the strange thing is that these men who seem to have everything will actually behave unfaithfully in their marriage.
Is it a void in space, or is the temptation from the outside too great? Is life too monotonous, looking for something new, or are you tired of your current marriage?
Probably, everyone has their own reasons and difficulties. But in any case, infidelity is a huge harm to the family.
So, why are men who are happily married also unfaithful? There are usually three reasons for this.
01
The gap between the desire of the heart and the reality
In married life, men sometimes find that there is too much gap between the original imaginary happy life and reality.
This gap may be due to too much work pressure, or things at home are too cumbersome, or the communication between husband and wife is not smooth.
When men feel that what they want is not available in marriage, they may look outside for comfort.
Take Mr. Li as an example, he has been married to his wife for many years, and his life has been stable and stable.
But after a long time, he always felt that life seemed to be short of something.
It turned out that he did a great job at work, so he hoped that at home, he could also get praise and encouragement from his wife. But his wife was always busy with housework and didn't notice his needs at all.
So, Mr. Li started chatting with the opposite sex on the Internet, originally wanting to find someone to talk to.
As a result, something went wrong while chatting, and in the end I couldn't do anything unfaithful.
As Shakespeare said, "Bad habits can stand in the way of fame, profit, and pleasure at any time." ”
When men feel in marriage that their heart's desires cannot be satisfied, they may look outside to make infidelity a reality.
02
The temptation of freshness
Some men, after being married for a long time, will feel that married life is too boring and monotonous.
At this time, novelty becomes a big incentive for their infidelity.
When they meet a new face on the outside or come across a seductive relationship, they may have a brain fever and forget the promises and responsibilities of marriage.
Mr. Zhang is like this, he and his wife have always been very affectionate. But after a long time, he still felt that married life was too boring.
By chance, he met a young and beautiful girl, and the two quickly collided with each other.
Mr. Zhang was fascinated by this relationship full of freshness, and finally did something sorry for his wife.
Therefore, although married life needs to be stable, it is also necessary to pay attention to freshness, and do not let freshness become an excuse for infidelity.
Victor Hugo once said, "When a man is contemplating, he is not idle." There is visible labor and there is invisible labor. ”
In marriage, we need to constantly invest time and energy in our feelings and keep love fresh, so as to better eliminate the temptation of the outside world.
03
Proof of self-worth
Some men, they are unfaithful to their marriage, often to prove how powerful and attractive they are.
They are not recognized and valued enough in their marriage. Therefore, he will prove his charm by finding feelings outside and being with other women.
The reason why they have such thoughts is actually because they have low self-esteem and lack a sense of security.
For example, Mr. Chen, he always felt that he had no status in his marriage to his wife.
In order to make himself more valuable and confident, he began to have flirtatious affairs with other women. In such a relationship, he feels that he is very attractive, very popular, and never tired of it.
But in fact, he not only hurt his wife, but also hurt himself. After all, unfaithfulness to marriage often has serious consequences.
Aristotle once said, "Each of us is forged by our own repeated actions." Therefore, excellence is not an action, but a habit. ”
When a man tries to prove his worth through infidelity, he is undermining his moral bottom line and damaging the marital relationship.
In marriage, if we want to prevent infidelity from happening, we should pay attention to each other's needs, maintain communication, enhance trust, and constantly keep love fresh.
Only in this way can marriage truly become a harbor of love, resist all kinds of temptations from the outside world, and protect a better life.