With the change of the family planning policy, the second and third children have been introduced one after another, and many parents of the older generation have begun to urge young parents to have children.
However, when it comes to having children, the views of young parents are not uniform, some young parents are happy to have a second child, and some do not want to have a second child.
"One is too little, two is just right", the mother-in-law "blew" in the ears of Xixi's mother again, since the country opened the two-child policy, the mother-in-law has been desperate to hold another grandson.
Although my mother-in-law is not a patriarchal person, she still thinks that it is better to have a son and a daughter.
As the saying goes, "both children are enough", since the policy allows and encourages, there is nothing wrong with letting the daughter-in-law have another one.
In other words, Xixi's mother has been listening to her mother-in-law's nagging about giving birth to a child for a long time, because she is "overwhelmed", and she and her husband have discussed, and she really thinks that a son and a daughter are better, such a family of four is the most complete family, and it will be happier later.
Therefore, Xixi's mother finally reassured her mother-in-law: "My father and I are already planning to have a second child, and we are preparing to get pregnant in the near future." ”
Hearing Xixi's mother's words, her mother-in-law was very happy.
Time has passed, and in the blink of an eye, Erbao has been born for several years, and at this time, Xixi's mother has a feeling of "unspeakable suffering". Not to mention anything else, the following three gaps alone are the real problems in front of us, and there is no way to hide.
Within 10 years, the gap between one-child and two-child families was apparent
It will only be more realistic in the future
(1) The gap in household economic pressure
The growth of each child requires a certain amount of economic contribution, and after giving birth to a second child, the financial burden of the family will naturally increase.
After Xixi's mother gave birth to her second child, the originally "moist" little days began to become tight.
For example, when visiting the supermarket, I prefer to stay in the "discount area" and "activity area", and I always like to see if there are "vouchers" and "coupons" before buying items online......
Xixi's mother clearly felt that her quality of life had decreased.
The reason for the decline in their own quality of life is to ensure the quality of life of Dabao and Erbao.
Originally, Xixi's mother thought that after giving birth to Erbao, the family's expenses would not increase much, after all, Dabao's clothes, toys, etc., could be used by Erbao.
But after really giving birth to Erbao, Xixi's mother found that the expenses after Erbao was born were not the "1+1<2" she expected, but the unexpected "1+1>2".
Although it is true that Erbao can use the clothes and toys before Dabao, the number of things that can be used is actually very small, almost negligible.
And every time one child owns something, the other child will buy it, whether they really need it or not.
And this phenomenon is also reflected in all aspects of life, such as children's interest classes, food, stationery, and so on.
In addition, when two children are together, they often make some "moths", causing some economic losses. For example, when two children were "fighting", they accidentally broke the TV.
Of course, such large economic losses only occur occasionally in life, but there are countless small ones, and even if they are not a few times, the economic pressure is not small.
(2) The gap in parental energy consumption
Before Xixi's mother gave birth to her second child, her mother-in-law said that she would help take care of the child, and she also heard from a friend that when the second baby came out, Dabao would also help parents take care of the child, tutor learning, etc., which is equivalent to half a parent, and it will be easier for parents to take the baby.
However, when Erbao was born, Xixi's mother found that not every family's big treasure would bring Erbao, and not every mother-in-law could achieve the ideal level.
For example, his mother-in-law, although Erbao did take it for a long time when he was born, but as Erbao grew up, her mother-in-law was no longer suitable for taking care of children.
Because many of her mother-in-law's parenting concepts and education concepts are incompatible with today's society, in order to let her children get a correct education, Xixi's mother can only refuse her mother-in-law's request to bring a baby.
Speaking of "Dabao takes Erbao and helps Erbao study", Xixi's mother's experience and ideal are completely different.
Xixi's mother originally thought that it was Dabao who helped her bring Erbao so that she could rest. As a result, the fact is that Dabao is "crazy" with Erbao, and he not only needs to pay attention to the safety of the children, but also needs to pay attention to the movements of the children.
But because the two children are separated, it makes Xixi's mother pay several times more energy to be able to take care of the child.
And in terms of learning, not to mention, letting Dabao tutor Erbao is simply asking for trouble, not to mention anything else, often when two people study together, they will "desert", or "dry frame", which makes Xixi's mother have a headache.
Therefore, it is better to tutor your children in their own studies. However, parents who have tutored their children's homework know that tutoring one child is about to go crazy, what should it be like to tutor two children?
(3) The gap between time allocation and use
Since Xixi's mother had Erbao, she felt that her time was completely insufficient, and she wished that she had three heads and six arms, even if she didn't sleep for a day, she couldn't finish it.
For example, I always feel that I have endless things, no time to cook, no time to do housework, no time to work, no time to pick up children, no time to rest, etc., and even the elderly in the family have no time to visit when they are sick, which makes Xixi's mother weak.
Some people say, what about the child's father, can't he share some of the pressure? We must know that in fact, the child's father is the main breadwinner of the family, and most of the family expenses come from the child's father, if the child's father spends his time on these things, then it will inevitably affect the economic income, and the family is likely to fall into a "collapse" situation because of the economic "crisis."
Of course, Xixi's mother's family is just an ordinary family, without deep family strength and a strong economic background.
If your family is very rich, then you naturally do not need to consider the impact of having a second child. However, the average family still needs to think carefully.
Write at the end
The gap between families with a second child and those without a second child will become wider and wider over time, and this gap is actually very realistic, such as economy, energy, time, mentality, pension and so on.
Therefore, before giving birth to a second child, we must think carefully, consider whether we can give the child a good growth environment, and be responsible for the birth of a new life, only in this way can the child grow up healthily.
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