Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
In life, it is common to think that introverts are socially inadequate, apathetic, introverted, unsociable, arrogant, or socially phobic.
But in reality, these labels don't determine how sociable an introvert is.
In fact, introverts may perform better in social situations than those with cheerful extroverts if they have the proper social skills.
If you are an introvert and feel that you are not good at social activities, then reading this article will help you.
On the reasons for not being good at socializing:
In general, introverts tend to be more alone in their personalities, they are afraid of talking, socializing, and getting into awkward social situations.
For them, engaging in social activities may seem like a waste of energy, and they prefer to be alone at home, as only being alone can help them regain their energy and "recharge".
Therefore, one of the questions they often ask is:
This can cause them to lose their ability to socialize and become escapists.
1. Recognize your own uniqueness
Under the influence of society and culture, many introverts may think that there is something wrong with their personality and feel that those who are extroverted and socially good are more likely to succeed, as if only extroverts are truly excellent.
But in reality, introverts also have their own unique charms.
As an introvert, you first need to recognize your uniqueness and recognize that you are unique.
Jonathon Cheek, an American personality psychologist, subdivides introverts into four types, and an introvert may be a combination of these types:
1. Social introverts.
This type of introvert, although it may seem like being alone, actually has a need to socialize and is able to maintain their social relationships well.
Often people think that they "don't know how to socialize", but in fact they choose "don't want to socialize".
The main reason is that this type of introvert has high requirements for the quality of social interaction, and they would rather have a few close friends than a lot of general friends.
2. Thinking introverts.
This type of introvert likes to be self-reflective, and they are very clear about their strengths and weaknesses.
As a result, when it comes time to attend social events, they are also willing to make some changes to help themselves fit in better.
3. Anxious introverts.
This type of introvert is very afraid of being cold or saying the wrong thing.
Their natural sensitivity and high emotional intelligence allow them to regulate the atmosphere socially, and although they don't talk much, they can liven up the whole atmosphere once they say it.
4. Restrained introverts.
This type of introvert is always thoughtful and thoughtful.
Outsiders may think that they are very deep, but in fact they are just used to treading cautiously.
They may not be the most eye-catching in social situations, but their reliability always earns trust.
After understanding these four different types of introverts,
Each type of introvert has its own unique charm, and once these traits are amplified, they will become their new label.
2. Some practical social skills
1. Start by lowering your expectations and learn to love yourself
Many introverts tend to expect to be liked by everyone around them, and this high expectation often puts unnecessary stress on themselves.
Social is not a simple exchange market, no one is for sale, and there is no absolute need for socialization.
Therefore, it is more important to appropriately lower one's expectations of the affection of others, and to accept and tolerate oneself.
For example, when attending a friend's party, you can dress up and confidently walk into the party place, and tell yourself in your heart:
People who love themselves naturally exude more charm.
2. Be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and take the initiative to make new friends
Living in a familiar social circle for a long time can limit your social performance.
When the people around you are familiar with your personality and habits, any changes you make may cause them to be surprised and joked, such as:
"Why are you so active today?" or "I didn't expect you to have an idea." ”
This kind of banter can be misinterpreted as sarcasm for introverts, which can discourage them from socializing.
However, when it comes to making new friends, these stereotypes don't exist, and you have more freedom to experiment with new patterns of behavior and discover your unknown potential.
3. Treat important social activities as part of your job
Many introverts have an anti-entertainment attitude and avoid social gatherings as much as possible.
But if you can consider these social interactions as part of your work, you may not feel uncomfortable with having your personal space violated.
For introverts who feel overwhelmed in crowded situations, adequate preparation is necessary.
Before socializing, you can get to know each other's interests, preset possible conversation topics, and even practice conversations in front of the mirror and adjust your smile and eyes to maintain the best social state.
4. Pay attention to and improve your external image
Modern society is paying more and more attention to the appearance of the individual.
If you're planning to socialize, it's important to make sure you look appropriate.
A good look can give you an edge in social situations because people's most immediate feelings come from your appearance before getting to know you better.
5. Constantly enrich your knowledge and insight
To make a difference in social, you must have plenty of topics and knowledge.
That way, no matter what the other person wants to discuss—whether it's light-hearted celebrity gossip or serious political topics—you'll be able to jump into the discussion quickly.
This shows that socializing is far from being as superficial as some introverts think, and that it actually requires a lot of private preparation and knowledge accumulation.
Socializing is essentially an exchange of interests, and demonstrating your worth is key to making others willing to engage with you further.
These are the true values of social networking.
3. Face your desires
For introverts, they usually have a rich inner world but often find it difficult to meet someone who truly understands them.
In fact, these people have a strong desire in their hearts, and many times, they classify themselves as introverts and are just a means to hide their true desires.
In modern society, although the apparent environment is very different from the ancient hunting forest, and has changed to a modern "hunting ground" such as a workplace or school, that pursuit and desire still exists.
Behind this is actually from our innermost desires:
We want to improve ourselves and stand on a higher ground.
This naturally requires us to make some changes, such as forcing ourselves to socialize.
Instead of using an introverted personality as an excuse for your lack of ability, you should be honest about your true needs and face your desires.
Be convinced that introverts can also build satisfying social relationships just as extroverts.
If introverts can make the most of their personality strengths, they tend to be more eye-catching and charismatic in social situations than extroverts.
The End -
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Keywords in this article: introversion, psychology
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