Two days ago, a good friend of mine, Lao Du, came to visit, and just after chatting a few words, he suddenly patted his head: "Look at my memory, I forgot to bring you good tea in the car." I'll let the driver bring it up now. ”
"Don't bother, I'll arrange for someone to go down and get it! There is a curfew for the entrance and exit of the building, so it's more convenient for my people." I hurriedly said.
Lao Du Haha smiled: "Don't worry! There is no office building that Xiao Zheng can't enter." ”
Sure enough, after a while, a spiritual young man knocked on the door and came in.
I immediately became interested and asked him, "Little brother, there is a curfew at the door, are you following others into the hall?"
Xiao Zheng hurriedly said: "Good leader! I didn't come in with others, I asked the security guard to brush the access control." ”
"Yes, our security guards here aren't very talkative!"
"Oh, leader, it's like this, my mouth is sweet, 'big brother and uncle' call them, report the room number, just say that there is an emergency, and they will generally give me accommodation. Xiao Zheng smiled slightly.
"Okay, good, thank you for your hard work, little brother!" I have a great impression of Xiao Zheng. This is a potential marketing talent!
"If there's nothing wrong with the leader, I'll go down first!" Xiao Zheng waved his hand and quickly turned to leave.
"Dude, there are no weak soldiers under the strong generals!Even your driver is a good social player!" I praised Lao Du.
"These children follow me out, you have to have a good eye! Otherwise, it will be a shame to bring them out!" Lao Du was very proud.
Xiao Zheng's performance reminds me of a historical case. Let's talk about 'politeness' today. "I brewed the good tea that Lao Du brought and started today's Shenkan.
1. Lida oral ceremonial and convincing
There are two sentences in the Analects that record Confucius's performance as Lu Jun's prime minister:
Wing such as means to spread its wings like a bird. Gu, pointing back.
This sentence means:
When the guests arrived, the monarch ushered them into the house, and Confucius, as a courtesy, ran quickly and smoothly like a bird spreading its wings.
When the guests said goodbye, Confucius must have stood respectfully outside the gate, watched the guests disappear, and then slowly returned to report to Lu Jun: "The guests have gone far away, and they will not look back anymore, so I will return." ”
To greet guests, you have to trot all the way, and to send off guests, you have to look away. This description vividly shows Confucius's idea of "governing the country with propriety and establishing oneself with propriety".
Confucius's practice can be summed up as "three degrees":
1. Have an attitude - humility;
2. There is temperature - warm;
3. Strength - sincerity.
Imagine that when you come to someone else's place and the host trots out to greet you, can you not be moved? When you say goodbye and go out, or even have already gotten in the car and driven some distance, you can still see the owner standing there respectfully in the rearview mirror and watching you, can you not be emotional?
Of course, we are not trying to imitate this practice mechanically, but we are to learn the philosophy behind it: to respect others is to respect ourselves, and to be kind to others is to be kind to ourselves. A polite person has no shortage of kindness and good retribution wherever he goes.
Let's take a look at a historical case of humility, warmth, and sincerity to conquer opponents and achieve victory.
2. Heart-to-heart for gold
The hero of this story is Liu Xiu, the founding emperor of the Eastern Han Dynasty.
When Liu Xiu was young, he went to Chang'an Taixue to study under the famous Confucian Xu Ziwei. After six years of hard study, the intelligent and diligent Liu Xiu finally became an excellent Confucian disciple. Confucius's idea of being courteous to others was also completely inherited by Liu Xiu.
In 17 A.D., after Wang Mang established a new Han dynasty, various reform measures failed, and natural disasters continued, which led to the Red Eyebrows Green Forest Uprising.
In 22 AD, Liu Xiu and his brother Liu Jiu led their troops to revolt. After arduous struggle, Liu Xiu had a strong army and a considerable area of territory, and became emperor in 25 AD.
After five years of campaigning, Liu Xiu, who became emperor, basically controlled the Central Plains and the eastern region. But at this time, there were two mountains in front of Liu Xiu: one was Kui Huan who was entrenched in Longyou, and the other was Gongsun Shu, who occupied Bashu.
Kui Huan was born into a prestigious family, known as ambitious, and smart. On the surface, he has dealings with Gongsun Shu and Liu Xiu, but in fact, he wants to dominate Longyou and become the king.
There is a strategist named Ma Yuan under Kui Huan, who is a descendant of Zhao Hao, a famous general of Zhao during the Warring States Period. Because Zhao Hao is also called "Ma Fujun", most of his descendants take "Ma" as their surname.
Ma Yuan, who was wise and brave, was generous, and was a thinker and military strategist second only to Liu Xiu in that era.
Ma Yuan grazing in Beidi County in his early years, because of his open-mindedness and courage, many homeless people came to take refuge, so that he understood the truth of "wealth scatters people gather, wealth gathers people scattered", and also deeply understands the "people-oriented" management philosophy. This allowed him to stand on a philosophical perspective and look down on his opponents in the later years of his war and administrative career, and he was invincible.
Kui Huan felt that his tonnage was the smallest in the three-legged situation, so he sent horse aid to Gongsun Shu and Liu Xiu to inquire about the truth and reality.
Ma Yuan was ordered to set off, and the first stop was to visit Gongsun Shu. Ma Yuan and Gongsun Shu are friends in the same township and have been colleagues, so he has great expectations for Gongsun Shu.
As a result, as soon as the two met, Gongsun Shu picked up the emperor's shelf and gave Ma Yuan a peacock to open the screen.
Gongsun Shu put on a grand royal guard, and after a brief greeting, he asked Ma Yuan to leave the palace and wait in the pavilion. After a while, he asked Ma Yuan and the others to change their clothes and hats, but he himself came slowly surrounded by Luan Qi and Yang Qi.
After this process came down, many of Ma Yuan's entourage thought that Gongsun Shu was very stylish and should take refuge in him. Ma Yuan said: "The victory or defeat of the world is undecided, but Gongsun Shu can't treat talented people politely." I'm like a puppet, and I'm arrogant. This place should not be stayed for long. ”
Ma Yuan went back and told Kui Huan: "Gongsun Shu is just a frog at the bottom of the well, you might as well deal with Dongfang (Liu Xiu)." ”
Kui Huan decided to let Ma Yuan go to see Liu Xiu's condition.
In the winter of 28 AD, Ma Yuan went to Luoyang to see Liu Xiu. Liu Xiu was wearing ordinary clothes, with a cloth towel wrapped around his head, and stood in the Xuande Hall with a smile and waited for Ma Aiding.
As soon as Liu Xiu saw Ma Yuan coming in, he immediately hurried up and said, "Mr. is running between the two emperors, and now I am very ashamed to see you!"
Ma Yuan hurriedly kowtowed and said: "Today, it is not only the monarch who chooses his courtiers, but also the courtiers who choose the monarch! I am an old friend of Gongsun Shu, and the last time I went to see him, Gongsun Shu made a big scene, and the guards were like clouds. I have come from afar, how do you know that I am not an assassin traitor, and you are so relieved that you dare to meet me alone?"
Liu Xiu smiled and said, "Haha, Mr. is not an assassin, just a lobbyist!"
Ma Yuan said: "The world is repeated, there are many people who steal names, and when I see Your Majesty today, I am magnanimous, and I know that the emperor is naturally true." ”
So the two talked happily.
From the beginning of this meeting, Ma Yuan decided that Liu Xiu was the true son of destiny and made up his mind to follow Liu Xiu.
Analyzing this conversation, it is very meaningful:
Liu Xiu met with Ma Yuan alone, which formed a huge contrast with the grand scene of Gongsun Shu. Liu Xiu neither relied on the strength of the crowd to raise his identity, nor did he worry about his own safety, but talked with Ma Yuan on an equal footing. This opening ceremony instantly made Ma Yuan come to the head.
Immediately afterwards, Liu Xiu made a pun, not only pointing out that Kui Huan and Ma Yuan were still waiting and watching the comparison, but also blaming himself for not settling the world, and he was thirsty for talent in his heart.
Ma Yuan Bingxue was smart, and instantly understood what Liu Xiu meant. So he first said a two-way choice between the monarch and the minister, vaguely expressing that he was also choosing a good tree to live in, and then explained that Gongsun Shu made him very disappointed, and finally asked directly: Do you trust me, or test me?
Liu Xiu's answer was very clever: Mr. is just a lobbyist!
This answer not only gave Ma Yuan Lizi (not to assassinate but to communicate), but also to Ma Yuan to face (not to take refuge but to observe).
Liu Xiu's judgment that he was a lobbyist and not an assassin was based on three reasons:
First, Kui Huan did not openly rebel against the Han Dynasty, and there was Gongsun Shu in the south, and Kui Huan had the intention of balancing with the help of Liu Xiu's strength, so how could he cut off his own way back;
Second, Ma Yuan's elder brother Ma Yuan is an official here with Liu Xiu, so Liu Xiu knows Ma Yuan's character very well, and thinks that he is magnificent, high-spirited, and not an assassination person;
Third, Liu Xiulong walked with a tiger's step, thinking of the common people in the world, which is really the atmosphere of the Son of Heaven. He is confident that Ma Yuan, as a person with lofty ideals, will choose his own better platform for development.
Therefore, as soon as Liu Xiu's judgment was spoken, Ma Yuan was immediately convinced. This is the heartfelt sigh of "the emperor is naturally true".
The monarchs and ministers became acquainted with each other, and since then they have joined forces to create a new glory of the Eastern Han Dynasty!
Under the leadership of Liu Xiu, Ma Yuan not only helped the Han army eliminate Kui Huan, but also first pacified the Qiang of Longyou, then set Lingnan, and then attacked the Xiongnu Wuhuan in the north. Until he was 62 years old, he died of illness during the Southern Expedition to Wuxi Rebellion.
In this life, Ma Yuan has realized the lofty ideal of "horse leather shroud", which can be described as exhausting and dying.
But this is not Liu Xiu's show, but his consistent style. He once led a dozen attendants to go deep into the camp of more than 100,000 bronze horse troops when he pacified the Hebei Qunxiong, and communicated frankly with generals at all levels, winning the heartfelt support of this rebel army;
Liu Xiu, a disciple of Confucianism, followed the teachings of his ancestor Confucius, and used the word "li" to the extreme, and eventually became a generation of Zhongxing Mingjun.
At this point in the story, Lao Du patted his thigh: "Understood." Your reasonableness may not convince others, but being polite will definitely pay off. Because being respected is everyone's deepest need!"
"Okay! Maslow's needs theory seems to have learned thoroughly! Now I will toast you with tea instead of wine, not only to borrow flowers to offer Buddha, thank you for your good tea, but also show my politeness!"
We laughed together.